Tons of Fun

From Harper's Index -
Estimated number of tons of CO2 released on New Year’s Eve from all champagne bottles uncorked by Americans: 8

it's scientific HERE and HERE

Happy New Year!

Campari Surprise

French Beatbox

...through the eyes of kitties

Some Hello Kitty items are freakier than others. It’s stuff like this that is definitely on the high end of freak out! - Hello Kitty contact lenses...may be available soon at a Sanrio store near you.
check out kittyhell.com

Fill 'er Up!

2007 GOP Hall of Shame

2007 GOP Adulterers Hall of Fame Nominees

* Ronald Reagan: Lived like a Hollywood playboy during his first marriage

* Richard Mellon Scaife: Right-wing billionaire caught by his wife in LTR with a former hooker

* Larry Craig: Homo-hating U.S. senator nabbed seeking sex in men's room

* David Vitter: Another senator with a morals agenda, has hid an irresistible penchant for prostitutes

* Dick Morris: Current adviser to Rev. Huckabee, was embroiled in a prostitute scandal in the 1990s that involved toe sucking

* Ted Haggard: Mega-church founder, Bush adviser and professional homophobe, he was outed by a male escort in 2006

* Gay Bob Blow Job Allen: Homophobic Florida politician tried to buy sex from an undercover cop in the men's room of a park

* Richard Curtis: A right-wing gay-hating Washington pol who accused a hustler nicknamed "The Stallion" of extortion

Requirements for Nomination:

To qualify as a nominee to the GOP Adulterers Hall of Fame, a person must be a conservative politician or opinion leaders who promotes so-called family values -- and especially the sanctity of marriage -- but who has also had sex outside his or her marriage, or had sex with someone who was married to someone else at the time.

Joan Osborne and Bob Weir

Jerry Garcia Court Moments

When Women Drink...

How everyone should read...

Seeing is believing...
...and believe us, you want to see THIS

...if you liked that, look HERE

You will excuse us as we have to mail a girl in a car some of our favorite books...

In Bizarro Land...

Celine does Tina

It's like, Miley Cyrus and another girl and, like, a tongue...

Hannah Montana starlet Miley Cyrus has had several racy snaps leaked of her and another girl playing lesbian grab-ass...exploring their bi-curious fantasy while simultaneously fulfilling the fantasies of countless others.
Miss Cyrus, has laughed off the pics and the 'lesbian' moniker they've been adorned with by the well-intentioned folks on the internet; stating, "They're nothing bad. At first, I was really upset. It really sucks. It's not something I'm going to let slide. I'm really upset about it, 'cause it was, like, not even a big deal."
Adding that the pics were taken at a sleepover and the girl she felt-up is one of her best friends.
more HERE and HERE
Miley interview HERE

Meanwhile, her sold out Disney tour with The Jonas Brothers continues to roll across North America...

...pervert!

Southside Johnny Meets Tom Waits

Southside Johnny will finally release a sonic tribute to his pal Tom Waits. "Grapefruit Moon," a long-awaited collection of Waits covers delivered as big band numbers, will see the light of day in 2008.
the story HERE

The Milk-Off Squirt Alert

See it HERE

Milk Gun Patent

Hey, what do you get when you cross a baby's bottle with a calking gun? The accurate yet asinine Milk Gun, designed to feed your baby milk and flowable foods at the touch of a trigger! You load this thing like a cookie dough dispenser and then try to coax baby to latch on to the nipplish-like feeding tip (# 26). While the wee one is staring down the barrel of your super-sized squirt gun, simply pull the trigger to start calking, er, we mean to feed the flowing food to your burping bambino. What's that you say... angel face would prefer to cry rather than eat right now? No problemo! Next time your little cherub's mouth is open and crying, take careful aim and quickly squirt some milk into her cute kisser.

2007: A Year in Video

Chris Crocker

Stacy Hedger

Cebu Detention Center

Tay Zonday

Michael Cera

Sally Field

Daft Hands

Will Ferrell

Britney Spears

There's Something About Melyssa...

...can you figure out what it is?

learn more HERE
official website HERE

Water Bar: ...you'll want to take a leak just by looking at it

Imagine drinking alcohol, all while staring at this 'waterfall' optical glass bar designed by Tokujin Yoshioka. You'd be heading to the bathroom every 5 minutes. In reality though, no actual water is used. The effect is created using an optical glass block that is crafted in such a way that it gives the impression of flowing water.

I'll be right back; I'm SO PLACING AN ORDER...

This rifle is 100% legal in California because it is based on an "off-list" lower receiver made by Stag Arms and has no evil features at all, instead featuring a fixed stock instead of the evil collapsible stock, a muzzle brake in place of the vile flash-hider, and a MonsterMan Grip instead of the heinous and malicious plastic pistol grip. If you do happen to find one available for purchase, just remember...don't ask/don't tell...

The Rebecca Mystique

At 35, Rebecca Romijn still sizzles...the sexy and provocative shots for La Perla lingerie prove it! Jerry O'Connell is one lucky mother effer...
more pics HERE

...Stamos screwed up

Mary-Kate Booze Shopping

Mary Kate Olsen Busted At Liquor Store

Adele: The Next Big Thing

Hear her HERE

Pigskin Perfection

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. - Last night the New England Patriots became the NFL's first team to post an undefeated season since the 1972 Miami Dolphins. By defeating the New York Giants 38 to 35, the Patriots acheive a milestone 16-0 season. The question remains; can they do what those Dolphins did in '72? more HERE
we're not big sports fanatics around here...but these guys really did put on quite a show...

Calculator Spy Camera and DVR

Inside this working desktop calculator lies a B&W low light or color high resolution camera and motion activated DVR. Just arm the device and a motion-detector will record anything that moves. Playback is as simple as removing the SD card and inserting it into the included SD reader for viewing on your PC. If you get caught, reaction will undoubtedly be swift - by your boss and the law. Available for $529 B&W or $649 Color.

Get yours HERE

Sonic Grenade - I Need a Case

The Sonic Grenade is a masterpiece of office mayhem. It is hard rubber and plastic, making it pretty easy and safe to toss. Set the grenade to one of three volume settings, pull the pin, and throw. The blinking red light will let you know the grenade is armed.
Once the alarm goes off, your prey will only be able to adjust the settings, he or she or they will not be able to permanently turn the unit off. The only way to permanently stop the alarm is to reinsert the pin, which you are now twirling around your finger. Remember, revenge is a dish best served LOUD!

Get yours HERE

Gogol Bordello Rule

The Breast Games 2007

they're HERE

Preggo, YES - Hers? NO WAY

mommie dearest?

Eduardo Cruz "Cosas Que Contar" directors cut

Sean Penn Gets Wise

Sean Penn & Robin Wright

He filed for divorce on December 7th, but changed his mind and had it dismissed on December 18th.

She filed December 21 citing irreconcilable differences.

December 24th he was seen dining “very young, very attractive” brunette at San Francisco’s Café de la Presse restaurant; more HERE

We're just sayin'...Sean seems to be gaining wisdom with age

Wounded Knee Massacre 12/29/1890

See the museum HERE.
EyeWitness account HERE.
Government documentation HERE.

Buttered-O-Bama

Norma Lyon, a 78-year-old dairy farmer from Toledo, Iowa, chose to show her support for Sen. Barack Obama, who is seeking to become the first black U.S. president, by sculpting a likeness of his head with 23 pounds of butter.
the story is HERE

Jay-Z is not having a great day

Jay-Z's new 40/40 club in Las Vegas did not pass their safety inspection today. What does that mean?

No PASS-O, NO NEW YEARS EVE PARTY...YO

Unless Jay-Z and his team miraculously come up with certain licenses and certificates by Sunday December 30, 2007, they won't be able to go on with their New Year's Eve party plans...And then there are the refunds of all those multi-hundred dollar tickets...

Awwww....so sad.....I'd rather be at the all dwarf review at KRAVE/Harmon Theater for $53.45 anyways...

The 40/40 Club website is HERE

Just another B.S. Thursday Night

Britney Spears At Starbucks.

Britney Spears Driving around.

Hate for the Sake of Hate

In his own words HERE, HERE and HERE

Ya...O.K., Sure...Bindi, get out now while you can!...

Terri Irwin is reportedly hoping to communicate with her late husband Steve when psychic John Edward visits the Australia Zoo next month.
more HERE

Pageant Drama Continues

Miss France 2008, Valerie Begue, has been allowed to keep her crown despite racy photos of her appearing in Entrevue, a French magazine (reported HERE Christmas Day). The photos (above) feature Valerie wearing a bikini in a crucifixion pose while floating in a swimming pool; another has her seductively lapping up evaporated milk from a trough. the story is HERE.
Was Tyra Banks involved in this photo shoot?

Ms. Begue, 22, will keep her crown but will not be allowed to compete in the Miss World or Miss Universe pageants...first-runner up, Miss New Caledonia Vahinerii Requillart, 19, will replace her. Story HERE.

JonBenet Ramsey is in a better place, rest in peace...

Lohan Honored for her film work...

Lindsay Lohan is in Capri, Italy this weekend for the Capri Hollywood Film Festival.
Lindsay is being honored for her contribution to cinema. Word has it that Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson were runners up and the award is named after film legend Anna Nicole Smith.
Normally, I would make this stuff up...HOWEVER, THIS TIME I DIDN'T HAVE TO since the Capri Hollywood Film Festival is actually doing it for real and she is actually showing up...FREAK!

Kat Von D: Bloated or Fetus?

One thing's for sure: she would not look good naked with or without a baby inside her; my god her tats SUCK!!!
"Hi Mom, this is the woman I'm having a baby with; she draws on people and smokes a lot and drinks even more; we're in love..."
her website is HERE

Hold your Tiger Beat...

Miley Cyrus broke up with one of the Jonas Brothers; it's being reported in the New York Post today.
...oh yeah; and that chick was buried in Pakistan or something; whatever....

it's Him, eh...Her; Him; Her; Him? Her?...

Joanie Laurer's Sister?

Hello Kitty for Men

Hello Kitty is reportedly marketing a special line of products just for men. The line apparently features a more "rugged" looking Hello Kitty figure, the perfect thing for a "generation" that feels no embarrassment about wearing Hello Kitty. All I know is that my Hello Kitty ice pack RULES...

Krystal Forscutt in the latest FHM Magazine

see more HERE
Krystal info HERE

Mt. Rushmore A Capella

Our Exclusive Jamie Lynn Spears Interview

Another Loss from Camp Simpson; when will it be over?

Her latest, "Blonde Ambition," a romantic comedy with fellow Texan Luke Wilson, was headed straight to DVD release when the bosses at Nu Image and Millennium Films decided to give it a limited Christmas run. Big mistake: The NON-Academy nominated piece of crap took in $1,322 on its opening weekend in eight Texas theaters." In contrast re-runs of "Leave it to Beaver"were seen by 26,000 people according to Nielson ratings...

MS Simpson must give some mind-altering *******, because Hollywood's been trying to make this loser a box office star for what seems like half a century. Here's a hint: it's not working. The only way she should be in a movie theater is if she paid to get in. With her lack of talent, at best, she should be laying in a box waiting for a magician to cut it in half or maybe a cameo with the guys from the JACKASS Films.

Wait Wait, our gift to you , the readers of Chuck's Weird World this holiday season...

Watch the WHOLE FILM online right HERE, then you too can be one of the very very few who has had this privilege...One bright spot...WILLIE FRICKIN' NELSON, and if you don't know how we here at CWW feel about him, well:

HE IS A GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mischa Barton rolls her own...

I wonder if she uses one of those Laredo Rolling machines from the 1970's?

The photo above was taken the day of her arrest for "straddling two lanes of traffic"...

I don't know the traffic code for that, but it sure sounds like something HOT.

Winter Television Premiere Dates

Tuesday, Jan. 1
According to Jim (ABC); Biggest Loser: Couples (NBC)

Wednesday, Jan. 2
Law & Order (NBC); Power of 10 (CBS); Supernanny (ABC); Wife Swap (ABC)

Thursday, Jan. 3
Celebrity Apprentice (NBC)

Friday, Jan. 4
1 vs. 100 (NBC); Flash Gordon (Sci Fi); How to Look Good Naked (Lifetime); Stargate: Atlantis (Sci Fi)

Sunday, Jan. 6
American Gladiators (NBC); Cashmere Mafia (ABC); The L Word (Showtime); The Wire (HBO)

Monday, Jan. 7
Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann (ABC); Medium (NBC)

Tuesday, Jan. 8
Life of Ryan (MTV); One Tree Hill (CW)

Thursday, Jan. 10
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (VH1); Make Me a Supermodel (Bravo)

Friday, Jan. 11
Monk (USA); Psych (USA)

Sunday, Jan. 13
Comanche Moon miniseries (CBS); Masterpiece Theatre (PBS); Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Fox)

Monday, Jan. 14
Kyle XY (ABC Family); Prison Break (Fox)

Tuesday, Jan. 15
10 Items or Less (TBS); American Idol (Fox)

Wednesday, Jan. 16
Reno 911! (Comedy)

Sunday, Jan. 20
Breaking Bad (AMC)

Monday, Jan. 21
Wildfire (ABC Family)

Tuesday, Jan. 22
The Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo)

Wednesday, Jan. 23
Moment of Truth (Fox)

Saturday, Jan. 26
Torchwood (BBC America)

Monday, Jan. 28
In Treatment (HBO)

Thursday, Jan. 31
Lost (ABC); Eli Stone (ABC)

Monday, Feb. 4
The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Paradise Hotel 2 (MyNetworkTV); Welcome to the Captain (CBS)

Thursday, Feb. 7
Lipstick Jungle (NBC); Survivor (CBS)

Tuesday, Feb. 12
Big Brother (CBS); Jericho (CBS)

Monday, Feb. 18
The Baby Borrowers (NBC); Quarterlife (NBC)

Friday, Feb. 22
New Amsterdam (Fox)

Sunday, Mar. 2
Oprah's Big Give (ABC); Unhitched (Fox)

Monday, Mar. 3
When Women Rule the World (Fox)

Friday, Mar. 7
The Return of Jezebel James (Fox)

Monday, Mar. 17
Dancing with the Stars 6 (ABC)

Tuesday, Apr. 1
Hell's Kitchen (Fox)

Friday, Apr. 11
Canterbury's Law (Fox)

No Premiere Date
Battlestar Galactica (Sci Fi); Dirt (FX); Farmer Wants a Wife (CW); Greek (ABC Family); In Plain Sight (USA); The I.T. Crowd (NBC); Miss/Guided (ABC); The Shield (FX); Swingtown (CBS)

The Departed 2007: Those We'll Miss the Most

Yvonne De Carlo
Because she was Lily in an utterly classy way that you wouldn't expect from a sitcom called The Munsters. And she slept with Frankenstein...

Art Buchwald
He recorded his own video obituary for the New York Times. ("Hi, I'm Art Buchwald and I just died...") How COOL IS THAT?!!

Charles Nelson Reilly and Brett Somers
They ruled Match Game and made it the most sophisticated thing a person could do on a weekday afternoon...while wearing a polyester suit.

Tammy Faye Bakker
The Eyes of Tammy Faye made everyone see her in a new light. She befriended, not judged, 'the Hedgehog' Ron Jeremy. And she was all about THE MAKEUP.

Evel Knievel
The helmet. The cape. The walking stick. Even the sound of his name brings up the emotion of COOLNESS.

...if only a bumpersticker were a magic wand

get yours HERE

Sharon Osbourne longs for African Ass-Rub

Sharon Osbourne said she'll be heading to Africa in the new year stating she's "gonna lay my big arse out, have it massaged and see some animals."

TMZ caught it all on video HERE

Top 10 Sex Memes of 2007

Trust us...you don't want to miss THIS

Natalie Imbruglia the next X?

Natalie Imbruglia may star alongside Hugh Jackman in X-Men spin-off Wolverine.
the story is HERE

Too Late...

Ashanti, who plays gun-toting Nurse Betty in 'Resident Evil: Extinction' (above), admits she is concerned she will come across as an overly sexual woman.

The singer come actress said: "I don't want to come off as a slut-bucket. I'm not that chick, but I am an adult. I am a woman."

Gee, sorry to burst your bubble Ashanti...but we always thought 'slut' was what you were going for...your Resident Evil character has nothing on your slutty persona as a recording artist...

Get Smart: The Complete Collection

available HERE

The Death & Life of Ice Cream

Macho Punch You

Road Kill Questions Answered...

GI Joe: obsession, or government conspiracy about race of diminutive army-trained men?

more HERE

Toy Hall of Fame

See it HERE

Johnny Depp studio recording session for 'Sweeney Todd'

See it HERE

Donald Fagen on The Devil and Ike Turner

Read it HERE

SleeveFace

See more HERE

Patti Smith presents Bob Dylans' life story

A free series of official Bob Dylan podcasts presented by Patti Smith have been made available online.
Ten short casts have already been posted telling the story of Dylan's career chronologically and it is anticipated that the series will eventually run to about 20 episodes, forming a two-hour documentary.
The tenth episode, which was posted this week, took the story up to the late 1970s and the beginning of the 'born again' period.
With Smith acting as the presenter, each includes Dylan recordings and historic interview snippets with the man himself plus contributions from musicians such as Roger McGuinn and Garth Hudson and commentators including the author Greil Marcus.

Get them HERE

Jessica Alba: The Baby Bump

WTF: A Willie Nelson Classic

See it HERE

Mischa Barton BUSTED!

Mischa was busted for 'THE CELEBRITY TRIFECTA': DUI, possession of illegal narcotics and driving without a valid license.
The story is HERE

Mitt Romney: Fudge-packer

...a winning ticket

the Runaways do the Velvet Underground 1977

Life is Precious...

Impeachment - Buzz or Political Opportunity?

Robert Wexler is not actually running for anything but the Florida U.S. House seat he has held for the better part of two decades. But the congressman who has taken the lead in the fight to open impeachment hearings against Vice President Dick Cheney has launched a Web site that says he is "giving voice to America's progressive Democrats."
Wexler's decision to step out front in the fight to check and balance Cheney has convinced a lot of activist Democrats that he gets it. If he keeps getting it, the veteran member of the House Judiciary and Foreign Relations committees could find his name added to the list of potential vice presidential nominees.
editorial is HERE

One comment struck a cord:
NEWSFLASH: Bush and Cheney are NOT going to be impeached, no matter how hard you stomp your feet and pout. Wexler's impeachment talk is nothing more than an appeal to the fringe left who apparently have no other ideas to put forth. Instead of offering solutions to real problems, the angry left continue to beat a dead horse about imagined abuses by a President who has outsmarted them once again.

...as aggravating as it is...we concur...the Bush Administration has railroaded us all...

more story w/video is HERE

Actress Ruth Wallis dies at 87

Ruth Wallis, whose naughty musical numbers between the 1940s and 1960s inspired the musical revue, "Boobs! The Musical," died of Alzheimer's-related causes Dec. 22 in Wallingford, Connecticut. She was 87.
obit HERE
discography HERE
CD's w/samples HERE

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - According to reports, former Pakistan leader Benazir Bhutto has been assassinated.
Bhutto was critically injured during a suicide bombing and later died from her injuries.
story HERE

Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson

"Angels Flying Too Close To The Ground" mp3
by Bob Dylan, 1983
available on UK Single "Union Sundown"

Since it's Keiths' B-day Month...let's celebrate

Downloads:
"A Deuce and A Quarter" mp3
Keith Richards and Levon Helm, 1997.
available on All the King's Men

"Say It's Not You" mp3
George Jones and Keith Richards, 1994.
available on Bradley Barn Sessions

"Tanqueray" mp3
Johnnie Johnson with Keith Richards, 1991.
available on Johnnie B. Bad

"That Kind of Fool" mp3
Jerry Lee Lewis with Keith Richards, 2006.
available on Last Man Standing - The Duets

"Little Queenie" mp3
Keith Richards and Jerry Lee Lewis, 1983.
available on Rolling His Own (bootleg)

"Let it Rock" mp3
Rockpile with Keith Richards, 1978
available on Elvis Goes To Washington
and Dave Edmunds and Rockpile Don't (bootleg)

"Worried Life Blues" mp3
Keith Richards and Ian Stewart, 1977.
available on Rolling His Own (bootleg)

"Dark Eyes" mp3
Bob Dylan, Ron Wood, and Keith Richards, 1985
Backstage at Live Aid (bootleg)

"Over The Rainbow" mp3
Keith Richards and Bobby Keys, 1981.
(bootleg)

A Keith and Dave Holiday

Download: "The Harder They Come" mp3
by Keith Richards, 1978.

Download "Run Rudolph Run" mp3
by Keith Richards, 1978.
non scratchy version available @ itunes store.

Download: "Run Rudolph Run" mp3
by Dave Edmunds, 1982.
available on Party PartyOST

Holiday music O'RAMA

Get it all HERE

a happy tree friends holiday

Street Fight Motherload

'The Danzig fight' that has made the rounds: Metal man Glenn Danzig gets knocked down by a single punch in a fight he starts. The inside word on the fight from the guy who knocked him down and comments on message boards are great literature.
From a post @ EbaumsWorld by Smoothy; this guy put together a list with over 60 Goofball/Street Fight Videos!

The Ballet contains:
A) 4 jocks harass skater Mike Vallely and he opens a can of whoop ass on them.
B) A man and a woman go at it; she kicks his butt all over the neighborhood but he keeps coming back for more. And includes an unbelievable moment where it looks like the police are coming in, but the cops drive right by them without stopping...American Justice!!!
C) Everything you could want in a backyard girlfight.

Thanks to CityRag for the tips

Airline Humor

John Travoltas' Cock-pit

John Travolta is a closeted airline pilot in his free time. If you search his name on Airliners.net he's all over it; and there are 12 pages of photos of his planes, staff and John in his outfits...I mean, uniforms.
If you're airplane obsessed you can find where celebrity airplanes are at any moment through a site called FlightAware.
Where Johns' plane now?

World's Most Annoying Toy

If you didn't get what you wanted for Christmas, here's a reminder that it could be worse...

Most Annoying Toy Ever!

Finally ...PROOF!!!

The woman who belongs to this is a personal friend of Patton Oswalt.

Victoria's Secret Models sans product

San Francisco Zoo Mauling: Unanswered Questions...

• How long will it take the investigation to figure out that the 300 lb cat jumped the moat?
• What is the penalty for shooting an endangered species in a Public Zoo?
• What page of the tiger trainers handbook states "...if you bite off a trainers arm you will be okay and never hurt again"?
• Will Siegfried or Roy visit the survivors in the San Francisco General Hospital?( they could use a trip to SF for New Years I think). Siegfried always says ROY is the magic, maybe this is a chance to see it work.
  

*Bonus: Name the only human to ever appear NAKED on top of Monkey Island at the SF ZOO.

the story is HERE

*bonus answer can be found HERE

Celebrity Gifts we forgot about...

• Britney Spears - Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care : 8th Edition
• Lindsay Lohan - Six Pack of O’Douls
• Amy Winehouse - Fruitcake (with metal file baked inside)
• Will Smith - A history book
• Toby Keith - The courage to come out and chase that rainbow
• Nick Hogan - Driving Lessons
• K-Fed – “Father Knows Best” on DVD
• Jamie Lynn Spears - Trojan multi-pack (mailed to last year)
• Marylin Manson - Michael Jackson’s “Moonwalker” (a cautionary tale)
• Jon Bon Jovi - A rhyming dictionary
• Jennifer Love Hewitt – a one-piece swimsuit
• Jessica Simpson – A map to Wal-Mart (so she can attend her next premiere)
• Chuck Norris – a sense of humor and/or a kick in the nuts
• Michelle Rodriguez - A carton of smokes
• Kiefer Sutherland – A bottle of scotch

My eyes are burning! ...My eyes are burning! ...I can't see! ...Help me!

...but, seriously?

B.S. - The End Only Days Away

See all the details HERE

Rihanna in German: Achtung Baby!

see more HERE

James Brown Estate Still Unsettled

James Brown, who died Christmas Day 2006 at age 73, is remembered for a larger-than-life personality, his voice and the flashy footwork that inspired generations of entertainers. The Godfather of Soul won Grammys, recorded more than 110 charted singles and, some say, invented funk and rap music.
But one year after his death, the people who surrounded him in life keep fighting over his fortune. And there's no resolution in sight for what's become a tragicomic saga.
story is HERE

Studies show...

Sexy salesgirls really up sales

Ever wondered why a product becomes more desirable if an attractive member of the opposite sex is selling it? Well, now researchers at University of Alberta have proved that there's science to back up that perception.
article is HERE

Mike Gravel meets John Lennon

Jennifer Loves' boobs

Jennifer Love Hewitt has confessed she can’t stop looking at websites devoted to her breasts.
The sexy star’s famous chest has several websites set up in honor of the pair. She admitted, "I’m fascinated with the Jennifer Love Hewitt breast sites."
The star, who has always denied having a boob job, says she often studies the web pictures to decide which clothes to wear. She added, "It’s fantastic. When I’m in corsets, they’re better, because they’re lifted."

CWW Wishes You a Happy Holiday 2007

Santas' Ho

James Brown Remembrance Day

Nativity Scene Carved using Chainsaws

see it HERE

the Case of the Collapsing Face

The mystery behind the pictures of Michael Jackson’s bandaged and plastered face has been revealed.
The 49-year-old singer was reportedly forced to have emergency surgery after his five-year-old son accidentally smacked him in the face, bursting and collapsing his lips...
He was whacked in the face by his younger son Prince Michael II while playing around and part of Jackson’s upper lip collapsed. That mishap led Jacko to make a beeline for the plastic surgeon for repair work.
At the beginning of week pictures floated around the internet showing the singer trying to conceal his injury.

Lesbian 'Madonna'

Christmas has inspired many contemporary GLBT artists to create queer spiritual art.
For example, Annunciation (at left) by Swedish photographer Elisabeth Ohlson Wallin shows the Madonna and her female lover are portrayed by a lesbian couple, pregnant through artificial insemination.

Sexually Repressed?

Watch how giddy the (assumed) men become as a relatively tame advertisement appears on a LCD billboard in Iran...

Miss France Farce

Valerie Begue, who gained the title of Miss France less than a fortnight back, has been asked to surrender her title to a runner up in the contest because of suggestive pictures published by a French magazine. Miss Begue has refused to resign her crown.
the story is HERE

Incest for Art

Penélope Cruz has taken part in a musical video with her sister Mónica, to help promote the latest video from their brother Eduardo Cruz, ‘Cosas que contar’. Penélope and Mónica are dubbing a lesbian love scene into Spanish in the clip and much is being made of a kiss between the two sisters.
Eduardo is obviously grateful for the promotion for the record which will come from such scenes featuring his sisters, and has commented that it was a dream come true seeing the two girls dancing together.
the video is HERE

Quotable Quotes 2007

"There's only three things he (Republican presidential candidate and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani) mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and 9/11."
--Presidential candidate Joe Biden, on fellow candidate Rudy Giuliani's style.

"That's some nappy-headed ho's there,"
--Don Imus, on the Rutger's basketball women's team.

"I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history."
--former President Jimmy Carter, on G.W. Bush's performance.

lots more HERE

From Us to You - the Gift of Laughter...

After Xmas shopping starts Early

BRITNEY SPEARS WORN WET SEAL BLACK PIN STRIPE JACKET

BID HIGH, BID OFTEN, HERE.

Norad Santa Tracker 2007

The 2006 page is featured above...the latest 2007 page is HERE

Oscar Peterson dies at 82

During an illustrious career spanning seven decades, Peterson played with some of the biggest names in jazz, including Ella Fitzgerald, Count Basie and Dizzy Gillespie. He is also remembered for touring in a trio with Ray Brown on bass and Herb Ellis on guitar in the 1950s.
obit HERE
career facts HERE

Very Bad Santas...Lots of Them!

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A gang of about 50 apparently drunken Santas invaded a New Zealand cinema complex at the weekend — frightening customers, damaging property and swearing, the cinema's manager said Monday.
the story w/video is HERE

A Christmas Classic

BBC, Breasts & Me

'My Big Breasts and Me' is a documentary about three large-breasted women who feel that having enormous bosoms is not such a blessing.
more HERE

Memories of Christmas Past

Christmas Vandals

Queen TV

Queen Elizabeth II has launched her own channel on the video-sharing website YouTube.
The launch marks the 50th anniversary of the Queen's first televised festive address in 1957.
the story is HERE

The Perfect Box Set

available HERE

Christmas with Nixon

Places Ricky has never been...

More Brit-Tit

The Next Great Cult Film

watch for it in '08

Not Beyonce's ASS

The 'cheeky' singer posed in a pair of tight jeans from her new fashion label, House of Dereon.

Weight Loss Drug has Disgusting Side Effects

There’s a 'new' over-the-counter drug available in the U.S. that’s apparently flying off the shelves; it’s called Alli.
The drug company markets it as a weight loss pill. They say it will give “safe and effective weight loss”. Because it’s FDA approved it must be good. What could possibly go wrong?
A simplified medical description of the drug is that it’s a fat blocker; it stops your body from absorbing some of the fat in your diet. It doesn’t burn calories. But fat that would have otherwise been absorbed by your body…isn’t; fat contains calories, so less calories go into your body.

But here’s the most important thing the drug does:

IT MAKES YOU SHIT OIL RANDOMLY.

That's right! Random explosive black runny tar outta your ass...

Another billion dollar weight loss product...yippie!

A Spears Holiday Treat

Our MISS Spears was out again last night in Hollywood; stopping at Rite-Aid to buy, among other things...a stuffed horse. She parked in a handicapped spot then drove down the street with the trunk open.
And it seems she didn't have time to put on a bra either...

the video is at TMZ.com

Everyone Loves Cox!

Fear & Loathing on the Hunter S. Thompson Trail

collectors edition available HERE
a more moderately priced version is HERE

Jonesin' for Christmas

Ominous Arctic Melt

An already relentless melting of the Arctic greatly accelerated this summer, a warning sign that some scientists worry could mean global warming has passed an ominous tipping point. One even speculated that summer sea ice would be gone in five years.
Greenland's ice sheet melted nearly 19 billion tons more than the previous high mark...
the story is HERE

Have Yourself a Gonzo Christmas w/Jerry Jeff

find it HERE

When Celebrities Blog: Jenna Fischer

Jenna Fischer got a little risqué in her recent MySpace blog about her new film "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story."

"[Walk Hard] is very raunchy and sexy and the humor is hard core. Think 40-Year Old Virgin but with full-frontal male nudity too. That's right ladies, we have penis. There is a ton of nudity in this movie actually... I don't get naked in the film... But I do showcase the ladies quite a bit. I had to be sewn into most of my costumes to make sure they were as tight as possible. My wardrobe assistant's main job was making sure my boobs didn't fall out. It was hilarious. I would see her across the room starring at my chest all day.
"I should also say that [my co-star] John Reilly is a great kisser. He sure knows his way around a lady. His wife is a VERY VERY lucky woman. Wow! And, he has a really nice ass. That is his real ass in the movie. Not a double. You'll see what I mean.
"So please go see my boobs, John C. Reilly's ass and a man's penis starting tomorrow night...Walk Hard!"

The Face & the Fatman

Okay, so Chastity is a big girl--but what the hell happened to Cher's face?
If we could turn back the hands of time...

Tempest in a T Cup

THE feud inside the New York Times over a provocative photo of a semi-nude, underage fashion model intensified this week...
The picture in question appeared in the Holiday issue of the glitzy fashion insert T, which came out Dec. 2, and features a soft-focus side-shot glimpse of 17-year-old model Ali Michael, and her exposed left breast.
the story is HERE more HERE

...yet another ridiculous display by a misguided, sexually-repressed and probably un-attractive public at large...
Although...this incident should make Miss Michael a superstar...

Bush Rejects Santa AND the Constitution

Clinton's Cartoon-Sex Crackdown

"When I am President, I will work to protect children from inappropriate video game content" - Hillary Clinton
That puts her on the same page as Republican candidate Mitt Romney...
story is HERE

Next Victim Please

Melting sea ice caused by global warming has been blamed for the deaths of thousands of walruses.
According to scientists, as many as 4,000 Pacific walruses died above the Arctic Circle after disappearing sea ice forced them to come ashore for longer than usual...
the story is HERE

Airing Grievances

The British Fashion Council wants magazines and advertisers to kick the airbrush habit.
the story is HERE

Idiocracy in Action

An idiotic Canadian man took the whole body modification thing to the next level when he had silicone 'breast' implants placed beneath his calf tattoo of a big-titted woman who resembles Carmen Sandiego, in order to make it appear three dimensional. Okay, we can all agree that this guy is ridiculously stupid...but what makes us chuckle more are comments by internet surfers...here are some winners...

What's next? Stabbing a hole in his leg where the vagina should be?

it's kind of pointless- I mean, you can't tittyfuck YOUR OWN LEG.

He looks like he's growing testicles on his leg. Or a tumor.

All I want for Christmas is my Staph infection, my staph infection, my staph infection...

Darwin Defined

Whood've thunk that a phrase popularized by Jello Biafra would become a mantra for a generation?
bumpersticker available HERE
Biafra's 1998 spoken word album available HERE

Real Big Winner

Rachel Aldana was crowned the Guinness Record holder for the largest natural boobs in Britain with a size 32JJ. Each boob weights 5.3 pounds! But just as soon as Aldana, a hairdresser, was crowned largest boobs in Britain, three other women stepped up to refute her record.
story & lots-o-pics HERE
and this...

Studies Show...

Pregnant Women Have the Best Sex...AND achieve Better Orgasms
Feel the love HERE

National database of problem teachers

The results show a list of licensed educators who States report have had action taken against their certificate. The types of behavior that lead to sanctions may include serious misconduct or relatively minor issues, including contract disputes or failure to repay student loans.
Search HERE

My babys' Aunt is a Frappuccino Whore

HUH?
check THIS out...and THIS
OH! ...and THIS OR...how about THIS?
...had enough? NO? ...okay, HERE

For the guy (or gal) who has everything...

Christmas is Cumming...

TEN GREAT HOLLYWOOD ORGASMS

2. Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally

see them all HERE

A Little Christmas Cheer

Woo Hoo!...American Idol issued a Schedule

American Idol fans, get out your calendars. Fox just sent issued the starting schedule:

• Season Premiere: Tuesday, Jan. 15 (8:00-10:00 PM) and Wednesday, Jan. 16 (8:00-10:00 PM)
• Audition episodes: Tuesday, Jan. 22 (8:00-9:00 PM), Wednesday, Jan. 23 (8:00-9:00 PM); Tuesday, Jan. 29, Wednesday, Jan. 30, Tuesday, Feb. 5 (8:00-9:00 PM), Wednesday, Feb. 6 (8:00-9:00 PM)
• Hollywood Rounds: Tuesday, Feb. 12 (8:00-10:00 PM); Wednesday, Feb. 13 (8:00-9:00 PM) Top 24 Semifinalists Announced
• Top 12 Male Singers Perform: Tuesday, Feb. 19 (8:00-10:00 PM)
• Top 12 Female Singers Perform: Wednesday, Feb. 20 (8:00-10:00 PM)
• First results show: Thursday, Feb. 21 (8:00-9:00 PM ET live/PT tape-delayed) – Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off
• Top 10 Male Singers Perform: Tuesday, Feb. 26 (8:00-9:30 PM)
• Top 10 Female Singers Perform: Wednesday, Feb. 27 (8:00-9:30 PM)
• Results Show: Thursday, Feb. 28 (8:00-9:00 PM) Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off
• Top 8 Male Singers Perform, Tuesday, March 4 (8:00-9:00 PM)
• Top 8 Female Singers Perform, Wednesday, March 5 (9:00-10:00 PM)
• Results Show: Thursday, March 6 (8:00-9:00 PM) Two Male and Two Female Contestants Voted Off; Top 12 Finalists Revealed
• Top 12 Finalists Perform: Tuesday, March 11 (8:00-10:00 PM)
• Results Show, One Contestant Voted Off: Wednesday, March 12 (9:00-9:30 PM)

WHATEVER...

Inside the Shallow Hole that is Alli Sims

Alli Sims gave an interview to German Magazine Maxi about breaking out from Britney's shadow and making it on her own as a singer.
She states, "When I make it as a singer, I will have made it on my own. The people who help me with my career right now, I have met without Britney and that's good. I don't want her to help me, I wanna make it on my own. I wanna be the next Norah Jones. I just wanna be on stage and sing blues. If I were a product, I would be Louis Vuitton. Classic, tasteful, timeless."

She also talked about her relationship with The Speared One and how the media blows it out of proportion, “The media exaggerates. My cousin is a wonderful person. Our life is fine. We have two drinks a night, nothing more. Look at me: I am more of a nerd than too wild."

Face it Alli, you have the SPEARS BLOOD running through you, it's time to breed like the white trash whore you really are... you'll never reach the level of say...KELLI PICKLER...

Carmen and Ellen in Bed

Britney Spears Exposed Crotch Figurine

Another item in the "...your kids don't want this for Christmas" series; the commemorative Britney Spears Crotch-shot Figurine...

available HERE

2007... a year in review: Britney's crotch...
Britney's Ocean Dip See Through
Britney Spears Flashes Her Panties
Britney's Crotch Photos Won't Stop
Britney Spears Upskirt, Whatever

Letter to Santa

Is Lil' Romeo Jamie Lynns' Baby Daddy?

it's possible...read THIS

Ike Turner taking a long nap

Idolized Whore

Nothing says sexy like an 'American Idol' cokehead...
Don't label Jessica Sierra a never-was; her pornographic debut will be released next month...tag line: "Jessica clearly has more talent than just singing".
pre-order HERE

Is this a United Artists release?

Booty Busting

Condom company LifeStyles gets 'cheeky'...
...we had to include this comment from adfreak.com since it's so delectably funny...

So you don't think a woman's ass is sexy? What about men who like to screw women there? And so what if most guys can't get a broad like her? That's why God created prostitutes, so you buy your LifeStyles and go bang a whore in Vegas.

Now maybe the ad in question will never win a Clio. But it sells the product and allows horny art directors to be surrounded by models. It's a win-win situation.
Frankly, I think LifeStyles should have shot the woman naked and put those ads in porn magazines. Why can't we do PG rated campaigns and X rated campaigns? Why must everything be safe and PC?

Kung-Poo

Yes, really...
available HERE

Satire 101

Cookies Crumble...we Hope

Sweet Irony

We bring you back to 1995 and 'Mad TV' prophecy...

Duff Sisters: 1 / Reporters: ZERO!

See it HERE

Ice-T's Girlfriend Coco Reveals the Goods

The most we know about CoCo is that she's Ice-T's girl and a lot of people want to see her naked...
shesocrazy.com has captured her image topless...see it HERE
...her December '06 spread in Smooth magazine is HERE

Jamie Lynn Spears - Let's Review

A) Britney is her sister; OMG!

B) Her Mom's book on parenting has been shelved.

C) The guy who knocked her up could face rape charges since he's 3 years her senior (and she's 16).

D) Nickelodeon (owner of the 'Zoey 101' show which Jamie stars) is now forced to do a whole show on teen pregnancy.

Smells like a SHIT STORM is blowing through the Camp Spears Trailer Park this week...

Sinful Swimmer

French swimmer Laure Manaudou is at the center of a nude picture controversy.Her Italian swimmer former fiancé Luca Marin is accused of posting video and pictures of Manaudou, who is the Olympic and world 400m world champion.
The pair had a spat at the European short course swimming championships in Hungary over the weekend.

She went from "...this is kinda hot..." ...to WHORE...RIGHT HERE

Ashlee Simpson's New Look

oh...her new video is HERE

Steve Martin's Orange County

See it HERE.

Chicken Weirdo

Chris Farley - It's been 10 years...

Chris Farley passed away 10 years ago this week.

The New York Post ran a retrospective article full of remembrances from Farley's friends and family. This piece from the Wisconsin State Journal recalls some highlights of his career (he was a Madison native), and this blog post includes a bunch of his classic video clips

MEMORABLE FILM Quotes

"Bees, bees in the car! They 're huge and they 're ripping my flesh off. They 're huge and they sting crazy. Your firearms are useless against them. " -- "Tommy Boy "

"Holy schnikeys! " -- "Tommy Boy "

"Holy shinto! " -- "Beverly Hills Ninja "

"Young fella, I 'm going to twist off your head and spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can 't even imagine. " -- "Black Sheep "

"As a pimp I shall blend into Beverly Hills like MSG into miso soup. " -- "Beverly Hills Ninja "

Cover of the Year

Top 20 Cover (songs) of 2007

See (& hear) them HERE

Republican Presidential Candidates on Equality

“Unless Moses comes down with two stone tablets from Brokeback Mountain to tell us something different, we need to keep that understanding of marriage.”
– Mike Huckabee

“It’s the acts, it’s the various acts that people perform that are sinful”
– Rudolph Giuliani on homosexuality

“I don't want civil unions or gay marriage.”
– Mitt Romney


...we find it ironic that Republicans seem to account for most of the Washington homosexual scandals of the past few years...yet consistently vehemently oppose gay rights...

Jamie Lynn told KFed about the bun in her oven B4 telling her family

This is just getting odder and odder isn’t it? Page Six is reporting that Jamie Lynn confided in Britney Spears’ ex-husband Kevin Federline before she told the rest of her family that she was pregnant. They even go on to say that Kevin is Jamie Lynn’s go to phone call when she is in need of some guidance. You think you know a family…
“Kevin knew before Britney that Jamie Lynn is pregnant,” a Federline family insider told PageSix.com. “In fact, Britney’s [somewhat estranged] mom Lynne, [who has become tight with Kevin in the wake of her troubles with her daughter and grandchildren], told Kevin about it on Monday, [December 17], because Lynne wanted Kevin to be prepared when Britney found out.”

Conversation with God

Hot Monkey Sex: A Study

Study reveals why monkeys shout during sex
Females may yell loudly to help their male partners climax

Sound familiar? there's more HERE

Words of the Year 2007

For each month of the year, Dictionary.com chose a word or phrase that was prominent or new according to search logs and research regarding searches elsewhere on the Internet.
the words are HERE

...the girl? ...it's Japanese pop star Rina Aiuchi

Skullphone Ornament

find it HERE

When Galaxies Collide

A galaxy far, far away—1.4 billion light-years, to be precise—is conjuring up visions of the ultimate weapon in the Stars Wars universe: the planet-shattering Death Star. NASA astronomers studying the system 3C321 have spotted a jet emanating from the supermassive black hole in one galactic core (lower left pink blob) as it strikes a second galaxy orbiting 850,000 light-years away (upper right pink blob)—the first time such a fleeting event has been observed without assistance from the Force. After scouring the edge of the second galaxy, the jet is deflected like water from a hose hitting a narrow obstacle (shown in blue in the composite image above). Any planet caught in the stream—no matter how peaceful—would find its atmosphere severely damaged, researchers noted.
more HERE

...and then the wedding went down the toilet

Nothing Says Forever Like Getting Married In A Public Restroom While Wearing A Toilet Paper Wedding Gown...

Jennifer Cannon and Doy Nichols of Lexington,Kentucky (DUH) married in the Charmin Restrooms in Times Square, New York City today. The wedding was part of Charmin's 2007 Wedding Dress Contest. Jennifer wore the winning dress by designer Hanah Kim. Hanah used Charmin Ultra Soft and Ultra Strong to make the gown.
Charmin paid for the couple's hotel and airlines accommodations. They will also provide the couple with a honeymoon.

Brings new meaning to "I was married in a real shit hole!"
She missed an additional marketing opportunity by not wearing lingerie by Kimberley-Clark Depends and carrying a bouquet of Playtex Tampons.

October 1978 - It was a very good night

COW PALACE San Francisco, CA

A Holiday Thought

"Shine a Light" trailer Released

See it HERE

and things were forever different at the Neverlanch Ranch...

Jamie Lynn Is Already Whoring Her Baby Out

Jamie Lynn Spears did not CASH up front from Ok! Magazine for basically giving them the story of the year. Jamie Lynn didn't ask for money. Instead she got a back-end deal. Yeah, that's what got her into this mess in the first place.

TMZ reports that JL will get $1 million for a photo shoot with her baby when it's born. Why wait then? She should give them her ultrasound photos, those should be worth 100k easy.

Start the pimpin' now, the unwed high school momma reality show is just around the corner...

A Man Needs a Maid

Masuki Ako(ますきあこ) was born April 16, 1987 Birth place: Shimane Prefecture; Hobby: Agriculture, cleaning, washing, origami; Special skill: Sports (any type of ball game).

...it's the cleaning and washing we especially like...

more pics HERE
there's a video HERE

U.S. Swing Dancing Championships

J. L. Spears Update

Update: "Extra" has obtained an official statement from Nickelodeon regarding Jaime Lynn's pregnancy:

"We respect Jamie Lynn's decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn's well being."

I'm sure the rest of it goes something like this "...but we still have no other choice than to cancel the slut's show."

In the Dark

Lily Allen smoking while preggo

Yes, she is...story is HERE