Classic One Liners...

Laugh HERE.

um....ok....sure...we're just saying...

7 year old driver in car chase

Story HERE.

it was only a matter of time

The Redneck Poet

Naked Obama and Unicorns

More HERE.

Day 1: National Cougar Convention

Which one isn't on Big Brother?

Steve Job's leaving Apple HQ on Wednesday

This would be the first post liver transplant picture of Steve.

Jon IS Kate

Organic Food no healthier,study finds...

Story HERE.

Springsteen makes Cover of AARP

Sperm bank offers Celebrity Look Alikes

A sperm bank in Los Angeles has taken creative to the freakshow level to help prospective baby batter buyers pick a load. California Cryobank has started posting pictures of celebrity look alikes who kind of look like the donor. They said they spent 6-months researching and matching famous dudes with guys in their inventory.

Scott Brown of Cryobank told KTLA, "The number one client question we get is: `Who does this donor look like?' We decided this would be a great way to give thorough and consistent answers. Clients love it. Look-a-Likes has only been available for a week and our Web site traffic is up 50 percent."

The official list is:

Brad Garrett
Clay Aiken
Danny Goeky
Jon Gosselin
Nick Jonas
Quentin Tarantino

Check it all out HERE.

It's FAT PRINCESS DAY

Today is the release date for Fat Princess -- which has been nebulous for a while now -- has finally been nailed down. You can be playing some class-based cartoony multiplayer (with a dash of bloody ultraviolence) while your reading this. This is a simultaneous release for American, European and Asian regions -- though a Japanese release date has yet to be confirmed.

While the adorable cartoon protagonists will be losing arms and legs liberally, you'll be keeping yours with a price of $15. No doubt European and Asian prices will be announced soon. Make sure you check out the PlayStation Blog for a PlayStation Eye interview with the developers from Titan Studios.

Tru Blood coming from HBO this fall

Pre order yours HERE.

Makes ya go...hummm

Michael Jackson's Chef discusses final days

Story HERE.

Roseanne As The Domestic Hitler

Here is a small piece from the article:

"As we wrap up the shoot, Barr puts her Swastika armband, one of the gingerbread victims and a Polaroid of herself in the costume in a Ziploc bag, making it look like evidence from some bizarre crime scene. She plans on bringing it to her 13-year-old son when she picks him up from school. 'Maybe this will make my kid like me,' she says with a sigh. "

See more from HEEB Magazine HERE.

Classic Ray James

THE PUNCHLINE

Obama is so smooth he makes Clinton look like a chunk of concrete wrapped in Velcro dipped in wallpaper paste.
--Will Durst

Urn It...

New advances in facial reconstruction and 3D printing have made it possible to have an urn made in the image of anyone from just a photograph.
Personal urns are a new and exciting way to memorialize your loved one.
Now a custom urn can created in the image of your loved one or favorite Celebrity.
available HERE

And the custody goes to Grandma...

Debbie Rowe got visitation and a child psyc to visit the kids about changes in their lives, Joe gets to continue living in Vegas...

National Single Cougars Conference

Single cougars from all over America will converge on the Silicon Valley, the ONLY major metropolitan area in America with a surplus of single men, many of whom are young, educated, attractive, and prosperous, but lacking in experience with women.

7:30pm - Complimentary appetizers from Trader Vic's, as long as they last.

8pm – Entertaining Keynote Address with author Francesca Gentille and Tahil Gesyuk, her romantic partner, who is 14 years younger.

9pm-Midnight - The Cougar Ball, featuring dancing to your favorite hits. At approximately 11pm, one cougar at the Convention will be crowned MISS COUGAR AMERICA and receive prizes, including her choice of the upcoming Singles Halloween Cruise or the Spring Baja Cruise, courtesy of The Singles Travel Company, plus a Cougar Kit from Cardeaux Cosmetics, valued at over $100. To be eligible to win, the lucky Cougar must be present at the convention, legally single and at least 40 years of age.

BONUS: The first 50 women to arrive will receive free samples from Cardeaux Cosmetics!

More HERE.

WTF: Things We Don't Need to See

Shopaholic died under purchases

Story HERE.

Yet another Auction

Bid HERE.

Rock and Roll Auction

Let the bidding begin...HERE.

Jack Nicholson and his Boobs

Kid Rock on Twitter

In the new issue of Rolling Stone Kid Rock commented on Twitter, "It's gay. If one more person asks me if I have a Twitter, I'm going to tell them, 'Twitter this fucking, motherfucker. I don't have anything to say, and what I have to say is not that relevant. Anything that is relevant, I'm going to bottle it up and then squeeze it onto a record somewhere."

3 Things in Common

Slash and Steven Adler now have three things in common -- Guns 'N' Roses, rehab, and they were both granted a restraining order yesterday against the same woman.

Adler alleges a woman in Oregon named Lisa Jill Martin-Cahn hired at least three private investigators since '08 to hunt him down ... "under the ruse" they were long lost lovers who met in rehab back in the early 90's.

Adler's docs, filed in L.A. County, say cops who visited Cahn at her Oregon home last month found "unopened boxes of house ware items which Cahn stated were wedding presents for her upcoming marriage to Adler."

Slash fits into this freak show like a leather glove, He claims Cahn has contacted him and his family members -- including his mother-in-law -- by phone and letters in desperate attempts to get in touch with Adler.

Both restraining orders were granted yesterday -- Cahn has to stay at least 500 yards away from both guys, their families, work .....

The Leningrad Cowboys & Red Army Choir

IPhone app scores sexual ability

Story HERE.

Happy Birthday Will Wheaton

"How I do IT" by Megan Fox

THE PUNCH LINE

"This (the claim by people who believe President Barack Obama wasn't born in the United States) makes no sense. If Barack Obama was born in Kenya, Madonna would have adopted him by now." -- Jimmy Kimmel

Charged with RUNNING A STRIP JOINT in the basement...

Story HERE.

Frick'in Mice...

Johnny Cash Jr?

Reality Tv Show: Homo Slapdown

THE PUNCH LINE

"Big week for NASA. Despite all the publicity about the moon landing, a recent survey finds that only 29 percent of Americans support NASA sending a manned mission to Mars. Of course, that figure goes up to 90 percent if that man is Spencer Pratt."

-- Conan O'Brien

Shatner Does Palin

Sarah Palin's final speech as Governor of Alaska baffled many. Conan O'Brien realized it was a poem and asked William Shatner to recite it verbatim.

TRON IS BACK

See the trailer HERE.

Katie's Gams & Garland

gams

More of Michael's Body Parts

A witness in the morgue says Michael Jackson had "a small hole where the singer's nose should have been."
"The prosthesis he normally attached to his damaged nose was missing, revealing bits of cartilage surrounding a small dark hole..."
more HERE

A lock of Michael Jackson's hair that was charred during a disastrous Pepsi commercial shoot is being turned into commemorative jewelery.
more HERE

Related:
Michael Jackson honored in Austria
Louis Farrakhan gives speech about ‘crucifixion’ of Michael Jackson

George W. Bush and the Suppression of Truth

Graphic images that reveal the devastating impact of global warming in the Arctic have been released by the US military. The photographs, taken by spy satellites over the past decade, confirm that in recent years vast areas in high latitudes have lost their ice cover in summer months.
The pictures, kept secret by Washington during the presidency of George W Bush, were declassified by the White House last week. President Barack Obama is currently trying to galvanise Congress and the American public to take action to halt catastrophic climate change caused by rising levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.
more HERE

Related:
Cheney Pressured Bush to Authorize Use of Military on US Soil

...and Dubya was a self-proclaimed man of faith...wait, isn't 'do not lie' like, a mantra? ...aaah...ten commandments...bill of rights...it's all in the interpretation...

Stupidity In Action

Lame Ass Duck

Sarah Palin quit on her stool as governor of Alaska Sunday night, talking about leadership as she did. She clearly imagines herself to someday be the next President of the United States, getting to tell guys like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad where to get off, yet leaves whining about a bad joke from David Letterman. You rarely get political farewells this funny outside the state of New Jersey.
Always with Palin there was this cockeyed idea, usually from the yahoos on the right, the frauds who treat her as being real, that if you attacked her, you were attacking working moms and the “real Americans” she talked about in her speeches, the ones who live far from big cities. Or that you were somehow threatened by this strong woman. From the start, there was as much substance to that as there is to her political thought, which you could fit inside a golf ball.
more HERE
The full transcript of her rambling, 2300-word farewell address is HERE

Related:
President Palin "Impossible"

It Might Get Really Really Loud

Jimmy Page. The Edge. Jack White.
Guitar players have no reason to read any further. Take the day off work or school, and find the loudest movie theater you can. Go ahead. The film was made for you. It's like "guitar porn."
U2 reviews the documentary It Might Get Loud HERE

Prince & Plant

Robert Plant was honored as a CBE by Prince Charles in a ceremony at Buckingham Palace on July 10, letting the former Led Zeppelin singer finally one-up guitarist Jimmy Page.
While Page is a member of the Order of the British Empire, Plant now outranks him with his new title of Commander of the British Empire.
more HERE and HERE

Noisettes Never Forget You

from the album 'Wild Young Hearts'
In the midst of a busy summer schedule of European festival dates, effervescent UK pop trio Noisettes will travel to America for three weeks of club dates in advance of their album, WILD YOUNG HEARTS. Kicking off July 22nd in Los Angeles, Noisettes will visit nearly a dozen cities.
more HERE

FYI : The President is a Black Man

Yes, he is. For all the talk about the first black president and what it means for America (meaning all the back-slapping by Americans who are proud to not be racist), people seem shocked--SHOCKED--that the President of the United States could identify with Dr. Henry Louis Gates, the Harvard University professor who was arrested for disorderly conduct (read: mouthing off to the police) by officers responding to a possible breaking and entering at the professor's home.
more HERE
the press conference that started it all HERE

Related:
Obama rushes to quell racial uproar he helped fire
Obama's apology in Gates case right on target
Police unions don't get apology from Obama, but happy with reversal
Harvard prof Henry Louis Gates 'happy to oblige' Obama invite for beer with Sgt. James Crowley

Killing a Cartoon Porn Star

Hundreds of years ago, India produced the Kama Sutra. Now, the government is banning access to animated Indian porn star Savita Bhabhi. Basic concept? Frisky Indian housewife. Her comics, which range from DP from the boys next door to college girl needs a better grade, have attracted millions of viewers. However, as pornography is strictly banned in the country, so domestic access to the site is blocked now too. Desperate fans have turned to Indian dailies for hope, but even creator Puneet Agarwal has finally given up hope.
more HERE and HERE

Pink Floyd - Green Cheese

Unreleased Pink Floyd Material
Pink Floyd "Moonhead" -1969-
A instrumental piece used for a TV-program on the evening of the first moon landing July 20, 1969. The program was a used by the BBC in between the coverage of the actual moon landing -and was called 'But what if it's made of green cheese'.

Lara Stone Spreads Out

One of the youngest supermodel on the scene, Lara Stone, replaces the starlets and superstars, landing a W magazine August cover in a bid to find out why is she the most wanted face and body in the business.
more pics HERE

R.I.P.: John Dawson

John "Marmaduke" Dawson, a longtime Grateful Dead collaborator who co-wrote "Friend of the Devil" and developed a devoted following with his psychedelic country group New Riders of the Purple Sage, has died. He was 64.
more HERE
obit HERE

Jewish Wall of Tweets

Judaism's holiest prayer site has entered the Twitter age.
The Western Wall can now be accessed through the networking service, allowing believers anywhere to have their prayers placed between its 2,000-year-old-stones without leaving home.
The Tweet Your Prayers Web site says supplicants' messages will be printed out and taken to the wall, joining the thousands of handwritten notes placed by visitors who believe their requests will find a shortcut to God.
BBC report HERE

Florida Prudes Vote to Discriminate

He wasn't fired because of his performance -- but his wife's.
Former Fort Myers Beach, Florida Town Manager Scott Janke appeared on "The Early Show" Friday to discuss why he was canned from his job. And the reason -- his porn star wife Anabela Janke -- was at his side on the show.
Scott, who married Anabela in October, was fired at an emergency meeting Tuesday after the mayor and council members learned the nature of her employment. Scott, the town manager for 15 months, was unanimously voted out, terminated with six months pay.
The firing came after Anabela, who goes by the stage name Jazella Moore, was recognized by an editor of an online adult entertainment publication after a photo of the couple on the Fourth of July parade was published in the local paper.
more HERE

...this has lawsuit written all over it...there is NO justification for the firing...pure discrimination...

Aussies Do What Americans Won't...

Australian comedy show "The Chaser's War on Everything," shows a man dressed as an Abu Ghraib prisoner disrupting one of John Yoo's classes (he currently lectures at UC Berkeley and Chapman University). Yoo, formerly of the Department of Justice, played a key role in the Bush administration's justification of torture.
...some applauded like vacuous zombies
...who were they applauding? ...if it was John Yoo for ending class then yes they are vacuous zombies!

...we're willing to wager that the majority of students in Yoo's classes have no idea who he is...hence, no outrage...

Britney Pumps Up Candies

Top 10 Bruce Campbell Performances

1. As ELVIS PRESLEY in Bubba Ho Tep (2002)

they're all HERE

NFL Embraces Thugs & Money

Michael Vick could be on his way back to the NFL if a team signs him before, during or following a four-game suspension levied by Commissioner Roger Goodell.
Goodell issued a conditional reinstatement for the suspended former Falcons quarterback that will allow Vick to attend training camp if he signs with a team, but will still suspend Vick for the first four games of the 2009 season.
more HERE

...a disgusting display of greed...allowing thugs to participate and earn millions of dollars...and a society that accepts the thuggery and is willing to empty their pocketbooks to support...the nfl should ban this guy for life!

Arnold Sells the Farm

Spectacles of Fame

more HERE