In 3 Words

Boobs in the News

Aside from Danick Patrick's new commercial venture (above), there are a lot of boob stories today:

BIG-BUSTED volleyball player Alena Schurkova has begged tennis ace Simona Halep not to have her boobs reduced. HERE

Hulk Hogan Defends Daughter Brooke: "Her Boobs are Real!" HERE

VP Joe Biden Shows Off His Man Boobs. HERE

Jokin' Joe

Vice President Biden is about to find out how well his boss can take a joke.
The vice president razzed the commander-in-chief Wednesday while speaking at the Air Force Academy commencement ceremony in Colorado, poking fun at President Obama's known affinity for his Teleprompter.
Biden made the crack about Obama's crutch after a strong gust of wind blew over one of the vice president's Teleprompters. Biden was talking about Colorado's thin air at the time and when he heard the crash, he added, "and the strong winds."
Then he said: "What am I gonna tell the president when I tell him his Teleprompter is broken? What will he do then?"
The crowd laughed at the joke made at the expense of the absent president, who was in Las Vegas at the time.
Presumably, that line was not on the Teleprompter.
more HERE
video HERE

Biden's Bunker Blunder

Vice President Joe Biden has revealed the secret location of the Vice Presidential bunker. The Vice Presidential bunker has been revealed to be located under the Naval Observatory where Vice Presidents reside.

To be fair...this story broke in 2002 when there was a Dick in the Vice Presidents house...
see HERE

Mean Mr. Mustard

President Obama and Vice President Biden made a historic trip to an Arlington, VA hamburger joint, to celebrate the "stress tests" or something, bringing the entire press corps in tow.
Well, it took all of Sean Hannity's brain power to come up with a joke about it, but he finally decided to make fun of the fact that Obama wanted a "spicy" or "Dijon" mustard on his cheeseburger, just like the undead Nikita Khruschev prefers.
more HERE and HERE

Related:
Obama Mustard Attack Becomes Full-Blown Right-Wing Talking Point

Carnival Run by Blood Sucking Clowns?

Vice President's Daughters' Blow

A "friend" of Vice President Joseph Biden's daughter, Ashley, is attempting to hawk a videotape that he claims shows her snorting cocaine at a house party this month in Delaware.
The video, which the shooter initially hoped to sell for $2 million before scaling back his price to $400,000, shows a 20-something woman with light skin and long brown hair taking a red straw from her mouth, bending over a desk, inserting the straw into her nostril and snorting lines of white powder.
more HERE

Top 10 Gaffes by Obama and Biden...so far

...a post-election Obama-Biden Top 10 captured on video: HERE
...the top dozen campaign gaffes, featuring several from Obama and Biden: HERE

The Final Farewell

Political Teeth

There's a website called JoeBidensTeeth.com and they're collaborating with Trident chewing gum to celebrate the new Vice President’s smile by giving gum to any American that uploads their grin.

Durst's Top 10 Comedic News Stories of 2008

From the mind of our Pal, Will Durst:
Okay. Just so you know: the Top Ten Comedic News Stories of the Year are as different from the Top Ten Legitimate News Stories of the Year as a tarantula infested banana tree is from a small paper bag of locking quarter- inch steel washers painted blue. Other stuff might have had a bigger impact on America and the World, such as an African American guy whose middle name is Hussein winning the Presidency of the United States.
But so far, Mister Agent of Change is about as funny as over the counter ear drops. You can't mock hope right now. Too much like kicking small whimpering furry things with big eyes. Oh, he's bound to loosen up after a few weeks getting kicked around on Pennsylvania Avenue, but until then, here are the stories from 08 that were most filled with humorosityness.

10. Proposition 8. Organized religion goes out of its way to guarantee that gays will not be burdened with the right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
9. New York Governor and Emperor's Club member, Eliot Spitzer. Flies a hooker from New York to DC, because as we all know, there aren't enough hookers in DC. (535 that I can think of offhand) Gives her 4 grand and puts her up at the Mayflower Hotel. Now, that's a liberal. A conservative will try to get it for free in an airport men's room stall. Demonstrating fiscal responsibility.
8. Joe Biden. Has potential to fill gaffe gap being vacated by George Bush. Inserts foot in mouth so often, he should invest in mint- flavored shoelaces.
7. National Political Conventions. James Dobson's Focus on the Family called for a storm of biblical proportions to disrupt outdoor acceptance speech of Barack Obama on last day of the Democratic Convention. Hurricane Gustav slammed into New Orleans canceling first day of Republican Convention. Proving that either God has a sense of humor or be extremely careful what you ask for.
6. Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Gives a bad name to people with bad names. Something about the Springfield Capitol makes it work like a halfway house in reverse. Economy is so bad, Hair Helmet probably offered free shipping with Barack's Senate seat.
5. The Primaries. 1: Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee raises hand at a New Hampshire Presidential Debate when asked, "who doesn't believe in evolution?" In May, he explains he is still campaigning because "at this point, its survival of the fittest."
2: In Philadelphia, Senator Hillary Clinton says "in this race, I am Rocky Balboa." Obviously forgetting that in first movie, Rocky loses.. To a black guy.
4. President George W. Bush. Lame duck, but a good ducker. International community furious at Muntadhar al Zaidi. Not for trying to hit the President with his size 10s, but because. 1: his aim was bad, and 2: he wasn't a centipede.
3. Senator John McCain runs worst campaign ever. That includes New Coke, France in 39 and Cloris Leachman on Dancing With the Stars. Doesn't know how many houses he has. Should do what I do. Every time I get 4 houses, I trade them in for a hotel.
2. The Economy. When everybody in America knows the name of the Secretary of the Treasury, that's not good. Line of the year courtesy of an anonymous Wall Street broker: "This is worse than a divorce. I'm worth half what I was. and I'm still married."
1. Governor Sarah Palin. For those destined to go cold turkey on Bush, she is like a dose of methadone. And she's sticking around. How you going to keep them down in Juneau after they've seen Neiman- Marcus?

Political comic, Will Durst, who writes sometimes, expects an even better list in 2009.
official website HERE
CD available HERE

Cheney on Cheney

Vice President Dick Cheney mocked Vice President-elect Joe Biden's grasp of the Constitution, defended former butt-buddy, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and said President Bush "doesn't have to check with anybody" before launching a nuclear attack.
more HERE

...why doesn't this cocksucker just die already!

Another SNL Classic

Run On Guns

Sales of rifles, pistols and ammo are surging in parts of the United States, as many gun owners fear President-elect Barack Obama's administration may seek to tighten ownership of certain weapons.
"The day after the election, I had many more calls than usual from people looking for semi-automatic rifles," said the owner of the Second Amendment Family Gun Shop, in Bisbee, Arizona, who sold out of AR-15 rifles in recent days.
"There seems to be a fear they will be banned, and it's fairly likely," he added. "Obama and Biden are driven to eliminate firearms from the face of the country."
Reuters report HERE

...people are weird

The Numbers

Since September 1, 2008 Google has been tracking the top campaign-related queries and posted some telling results.
Top Political Personas

1. Obama
2. Palin
3. McCain
4. Tina Fey
5. Joe Biden
6. Chuck Norris
7. Cindy McCain
8. Bristol Palin
9. SNL Palin
10. Colin Powell

more HERE

Biden Annoyed by Biased Questions

Orlando, Florida - WFTV's Barbara West conducted a satellite interview with Senator Joe Biden last Thursday. The interview was peppered with incredibly biased questions in what can only be described as an attempt to smear Obama and label him a communist...something the McCain campaign has been doing lately...

Palin Gets Booed in Philly!

The arena had to raise the music volume to drown out the booing. Some have claimed they also piped in cheers.
Notice the Obama/Biden signs at the 44-second mark. Apparently, Pennsylvania isn't a swing state anymore.
Update: Palin has said she put her 7-year-old daughter Piper in a Flyers jersey to discourage some of the booing.
more HERE

The Candidates as Trains

...and the hits just keep comin'

Coincidence?

This is the kind of warped garbage that jackasses create to strike fear and uncertainty in ignorant people...
That's right...it's fake...see HERE