Brooke Hogan Marketing 101

Boobs in the News

Aside from Danick Patrick's new commercial venture (above), there are a lot of boob stories today:

BIG-BUSTED volleyball player Alena Schurkova has begged tennis ace Simona Halep not to have her boobs reduced. HERE

Hulk Hogan Defends Daughter Brooke: "Her Boobs are Real!" HERE

VP Joe Biden Shows Off His Man Boobs. HERE

Airbrushed Brooke

We knew Brooke Hogan -- the prematurely-aged-by-tanning celebu-spawn of one-time professional wrestler and reality show star Hulk Hogan -- had bad taste. Seriously, would anyone with even a smidgen of common sense wear this?
So it's not surprising that Hogan thought an airbrushed van art version of herself rocking a set of wings that would make a unicorn cry with envy would be just the thing for the cover of her new album, "The Redemption" which is to be released in July, includes the track Falling where she writhes around in her bikini for pretty much the entire duration of the video.
more HERE
Brooke's website HERE

...she reminds us of the hood of a Trans Am

Hogan's Hero Sandwich

Thank you, God!

Look at Brooke Hogan and her daddy's girlfriend! Yes, one has 50% more non-biodegradable materials in her tittay area, but they could still be twinsies.
Hulk seems to be in heaven... looking up and thanking his lucky stars for this magical moment.
more pics HERE

DUI Alert : Happy 21st Birthday Brooke Hogan

Brooke Hogan goes for the POLE...

Fledgling singer Brooke Hogan performed at the Ocho Calle Latin festival in Miami this weekend, but her vocals weren't the highlight of the show. Hogan performed a spicy pole dance in a sparkly, midriff-bearing top and matching bottoms while hundreds of onlookers watched - including her dad, former wrestler Hulk Hogan.
story w/pics HERE
video HERE

...looks like miss Brooke finally found a career...

Brooke Hogan Sucks With or Without You

Brooke Hogan “covered” Kelly Clarkson’s new song “My Life Would Suck Without You” and failed miserably. And by covered, we mean she tried to remove Kelly’s vocals from the track and sing louder than her while recording it. Did we mention she's tone deaf, can't hold a note and is dumber than knotted pine? Making matters worse, ...her tits don't even make an appearance in the clip...if they did we could have focused and she may have had a monster hit on her hands.
Are you listening Kelly?

Brooke's Package

...what's she storing in her shorts?

Brooke Hogan's Saggy Ass...and Tattoo

...we're trying to figure out what 'REDEMPTION' stands for...maybe if things don't work out on the front side, there's a chance for 'redemption' on the back side...her jeans do seem to be squished in a ditch...we're just sayin'...

Expect a Nick Hogan Reality Show in 3...2...

Nick Hogan was set free from jail at 12:30 this morning in Clearwater, Florida after serving 166 days of his 8-month sentence. He was given time off for good behavior. Nick was sent to the jail after he pleaded no contest to reckless driving. Nick was greeted by his sister 'muffin-top' AKA Brooke Hogan.
more HERE

This morning Nick's mom, Linda Hogan, released this statement:
"This is our time as a family to come together to support Nick's adjustment back into the public life keeping it as normal as possible. Neither Nick, nor we as a family, has any interest in making this anything but private. We respect the media's role and only ask that they respect our privacy.
Nick went into prison as a juvenile and has experienced something that will mold and affect him for the rest of his adult life. His focus is to make a positive difference in this world, media free. Since his future actions will speak louder than any words, there is no need to speak to the media at this time"

Hulkster, Daughter and Girlfriend

Does Jennifer McDaniel scream out "Oh, Daddy!" during sex with Hulk Hogan?
In the picture above, Hulk holds his girlfriend while his daughter, Brooke, stands very close (like a forbidden sex sandwich)...or is it the other way around? It's hard to tell.
more HERE

Brooke Hogan Needs a Life...

Brooke Hogan posted two fake mug shots on her MySpace page this past weekend. In one photot she holds a sign that reads: "Id RaThr B wiTH mY Br0thR 18." Another reads: "Thnk U 4 Lettn Me B MahSelf."
After the fake mug shots made their way throughout the internet, Miss Hogan posted a blog on MySpace calling everyone HATERS...enjoy...

LOL poor press and clingy gossip lovers....
It's so funny that the smallest thing I do can jack up everyones day...LOL sorry I ruined your little gossip world today people.........or did I give you something else interesting to cling to for your boring worlds? :) Stay tuned! I might go shave my eyebrows tomorrow! Lets see what other fun things I can think of...um.... don't you have a life to live? I know I do! Peace!
Love Always, Brooke

She needs to dig a hole, a very large hole... and bury herself and all the CD's that include her voice ...PLEASE SAVE US...

Brooke's New Boobs?

Brooke Hogan already looked like a tranny, but now she looks like a tranny with fake boobs.
see HERE

Brooke Knows

Brooke Speaks, nobody cares...

Brooke Hogan is upset that people don't think she went to visit her brother in jail this past weekend to celebrate his 18th birthday.
So, she has taken to her blog to set the record straight!
Says the failed singer:

"Stupid people of the press
Heres how stupid and inaccurate the media can be…
According to the press I didn't show up to my brothers 18th birthday at the jail.
Lets see…
*hes in jail
*Its an important birthday…the big 18!!!
*I'm only a 4 hour drive to Tampa
*He's the most important thing in my life.
They must have thought I didn't show cause they didn't SEE me.
uhh…there's such thing as a back door you jerks.
In conclusion…That goes to show you that you can't believe anything you watch on TV or read in magazines. Cause people will make up BS without even knowing the facts. Hey Media! Why don't you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES.
Needless to say, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my best friend and NOTHING comes before family."

Hogan knows Homo

On the new season of Brooke Knows Best, which debuts on VH1 next week, Brooke Hogan moves into a Miami Beach apartment with choreographer/gay man Glenn Douglas Packard. Of course, he's immediately grilled by dad Hulk Hogan:

HULK: "You're gay, which is cool. On the big gay scale of 1 to 10, the ten being the gayest, I mean, where are you at?"

GLENN: "I wouldn't say I'm the gayest, but I'd say I'm a gay 10."

Glenn has choreographed for Michael Jackson, Liza Minnelli and 'N Sync...I'm thinking she'll be safe.
watch teaser video HERE

Shallow Brooke

The July issue of Maxim features Brooke Hogan in a bikini top and unzipped jeans, which was supervised by Brook's daddy, Hulk Hogan, who made an unannounced visit to the set during the shoot back in April...the same month, incidentally, that the Hulkster was photographed exploring his daughter's private nooks and crannies with his hands. Apparently, he was there to make sure his 20-year-old daughter didn't show too much and, if she did, he wanted to see it firsthand.

...just a little Salve on the Buttocks

Hulk Hogan rubbed lotion over his daughter’s ass back in April. If that wasn’t creepy enough, he made sure to get his hand all up in there making multi-orgasms obsolete.
Brooke finally broke her silence about the incident and the paparazzi pics, and it sounds like dad and daughter played the "...slather my nether regions with lotion..." game before.
Ms. Hogan said, "I know I'm a grown woman, but it's like he's touching an old car. He used to change my diaper!"
more HERE
more pics HERE

Hogan for Hire

BROOKE HOGAN DOES NOT APPROVE!

Brooke Hogan is "totally freaked out" over her 48-year-old mother dating a 19-year-old semen factory. Yes, that dude is 19. Yes, in human years.
Brooke told E! News, "I personally don’t like it at all or condone it, but she’s my mom, so I have to show her support."
Brooke also said that Linda's new man/boy-toy or whatever we're calling him is one of her incarcerated brother, Nick Hogan's classmates.
She went on to say, "I went to school with him. He was a grade under me...Me and Nick know him well. Me and Nick are two years apart, and he was right between us (in school)."