THE PUNCHLINE

"The past couple of years there have been a whole bunch of scandals involving governors. You know things are bad when the most normal governor of the last decade was Jesse 'The Body' Ventura."
-- Craig Ferguson

Ventura Mops the Floor with Hannity

Former Navy SEAL, wrestler , and Minnesota Governor vs. a FOX news host. Guess who wins?



excerpt:
HANNITY: There were a group of radicals that were at war with the United States and we weren't at war with them. We saw the first Trade Center bombing, the Embassy bombings, the USS Cole, and we think radicals that think God is going to reward them in Heaven with virgins. Jesse, how do you stop them.

VENTURA: Well, you pay attention to memos on August 6 that tell you exactly what bin Laden's gonna do.

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Jesse Ventura & 'the View' on Waterboarding

Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura, making a guest appearance on ABC’s The View, gave co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck a lesson or two about the torture technique known as waterboarding.
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A favorite recent Jesse Ventura quote:
"...give me Dick Cheney, a waterboard and an hour and you'll have a confession for the Sharon Tate murders..."

Is He In or Out?

To hear Jesse Ventura tell it, he’s either out to become president or an expatriate.

In the opening to his fourth book, “Don’t Start the Revolution Without Me!,” the former wrestler and governor of Minnesota writes: “As I begin to write this book, I’m facing probably the most monumental decision of my 56 years on this planet. Will I run for president of the United States, as an independent, in 2008? Or will I stay as far away from the fray as possible, in a place with no electricity, on a remote beach in Mexico?”

Throughout the book, Ventura seems to go back and forth on the issue, pro and con:

Pro: “My outrage knows few bounds. …I can’t live with this apathy. I can’t tell myself it’s not happening.”

Con: “Psychologically, I need to break away from the United States. I also felt it was time in my life to go on an adventure. …And I found that, even in the 21st century, you can still be something of a Kit Carson...”.

Pro: He details a conversation he had in Mexico with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. about running together on an independent, third-party ticket.

Con: His wife, Terry, says she refuses to be first lady of anything again.

Pro: WWE Wrestling Chairman Vince McMahon told Ventura he’d back his bid “100 percent, with everything I’ve got.”

Con: The epilogue of the book imagines eight months of 2008 headlines, as Ventura decides to run on a “WWE independent ticket.” Ventura envisions “shoving McMahon off to the side” and announcing his candidacy before 70,000 fans at the 24th annual WrestleMania. Which must mean he can’t be serious.
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