THE PUNCHLINE

"I'd like the truffle-crusted halibut."
-- From David Letterman's "Top Ten Questions Bernie Madoff Asked Today in Prison."

Madoff Investors Bonding?

Bernie Madoff's Secretary Spills The Beans

Bernie Madoff was a sexist, egomaniacal, short-tempered control freak—yet everybody loved him. That is according to his secretary of more than 20 years, Eleanor Squillari (above), who co-authored a 9,000-word article in the June issue of Vanity Fair
more w/video HERE

Bernie 'Maximum' Madoff

Notorious Ponzi scammer Bernie Madoff has been sentenced to the maximum 150 years in prison for the $65 billion fraud that swindled his many devastated victims.
Judge Denny Chin said the sentence was a symbolic one for a crime that showed "extraordinary evil" and "took a staggering human toll."
ABC News report HERE

Ruth Madoff Relinquishes Her Fortune

Bernie Madoff's wife, Ruth, has decided to give up her claim to more than $80 million in assets. She will keep $2.5 million in cash, per an agreement with federal prosecutors approved on Friday.
more HERE

Deck of Doom

It's the perfect deck for double-dealing.
Dubbed the Financial Crisis Most Wanted Playing Cards, the deck presents the major players from the recession in full 52-card infamy - from ace of spades Bernie Madoff to three of a kind in the form of U.S. auto company heads.
more HERE
available HERE

Prison For Dummies

Bernard Madoff's niece and another relative -- worried they'll wind up behind bars -- have contacted a consultant who teaches white-collar criminals how to survive in federal prison and secure early release.
Shana Madoff, 38, who was a compliance officer with the infamous Madoff firm, contacted Larry Levine, a former federal prisoner and founder of Wall Street Prison Consultants.
more HERE

Scumbag Billionaire

THE PUNCHLINE

"Bernie Madoff pled guilty today in court to running a Ponzi scheme. He was immediately taken to jail. Oddly, when he was taken to jail he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. So you know what that means, guys in prison -- he's available."
-- Jay Leno

Ruth Madoff : Portrait in Greed

Ruth Madoff wants us to believe that her apartment and a pile of cash are hers and hers alone, separate from Bernie's
Ruth Madoff, the wife of accused fraudster Bernard Madoff, said she owns a Manhattan apartment, $45 million in bonds, and $17 million in cash that are “unrelated” to her husband’s alleged Ponzi scheme.
We'd love to know, given her husband's admitted Ponzi scheme that's probably spanned decades and that's netted the Madoff family millions and millions in ill gotten gains, just how she came upon those assets.
more HERE

The Madoff List

Hall of Fame pitcher Sandy Koufax. Actor Kevin Bacon. World Trade Center developer Larry Silverstein. All three have at least one thing in common: Their names appear on a list of several thousand clients who lost money investing with Bernard Madoff. The list has been made public in a court filing in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan.
The list contains about 13,000 names, including at least six Madoffs and even Bernie Madoff's own attorney.
Authorities say Madoff admits he lost more than $50 billion belonging to investors. Defense lawyers say he has cooperated with authorities to help identify assets.
story is HERE
see the list (PDA) HERE

THE PUNCHLINE

"Freezing cold today. ... So cold, Bernie Madoff had his hands in his own pockets."
-- David Letterman

Six Degrees of a Ponzi Scheme

Along with Hollywood boldfacers Jeffrey Katzenberg and Steven Spielberg, Kevin Bacon and his wife, Kyra Sedgwick, lost money in Bernie Madoff's devastating $50 billion Ponzi scheme, and a representative for Kevin Bacon confirmed it to New York Magazine saying, "Unfortunately, your report is true."
He wouldn't elaborate on whether they'd lost everything except for their checking accounts and the land they own. "I can confirm that they had investments with Mr. Madoff -- no further specifics or comment beyond that," he said, adding: "Please, let's not speculate or rely on hearsay."