Babes in the Holy Land

Israel Plans to Revamp Its Image

Israeli Officials Have Approached a Men's Magazine to Promote a More Positive Image of Their Country

All countries carry a certain stereotype: Some associate pasta and emotion with Italy, the queen and bad weather with Britain, flashing lights and high-speed trains with Japan, and conflict and religion with Israel.

Israeli officials at the consulate in New York have decided to try to rebrand the negative image associated with their country and have approached Maxim, dubbed America's most-popular men's magazine, to launch a public relations campaign to help them.

The aim of the project is to change Israel's image from a country associated with constant conflict to a different, sexy, fun and vibrant place.

Maxim is going to run a special Israel edition this July that will promote the country to its 2.5 million readership, and the magazine hopes it will revamp Israel's image in the eyes of young American men.

Harvard Porn Mag Goes Down

H Bomb Loses Official Status

Campus sex magazine fails to sustain initial hype

Nearly three years after its first detonation, H Bomb’s glow has faded.

Although Harvard’s student-run sex magazine is still basking in the aftershocks of the media frenzy it generated, H Bomb lost official student group status earlier this month after failing to meet the requirements for student group recognition.

Said Harvard assistant dean Paul McLoughlin:

"Perhaps there is just more interest on the outside than on the inside," he said. "Maybe everyone wants to read it, but no one wants to work on it."

That could be, although we're more inclined to believe the magazine's former business manager, Vladimir Djuric, when he says: "The combination of Harvard and sex will always hold a certain public fascination... The media frenzy just snowballed until we printed our first issue." Right. Then everyone saw it. So will the magazine be able to recover from this media version of premature ejaculation?

McLoughlin said the magazine staff had another chance to complete its registration by last Sunday, but it again failed to meet the deadline.

It's Führerstodestag

Sixty Two years ago today, the capital of the thousand year Reich, Berlin, was in ruins, after only twelve years of the Nazi regime. For months, it had been pounded from the air by Allied bombers, and now it was being pounded relentlessly by Soviet artillery, bombers, and tanks. Berlin was completely circled by its enemies, who even now were advancing to within artillery range of the Reichstag itself, lobbing shells that were exploding close enough to shake the building. Remnants of the German forces fought a desperate, last ditch defense, even though they were outnumbered and outgunned, with no hope of doing anything more than slowing down the inevitable onslaught by a few days or hours. Adolf Hitler's dream of creating a Reich that would endure for a thousand years, obtaining Lebensraum in the East for Germans to expand into, enslaving the "inferior" Slavs of that land, and destroying Bolshevism, a dream that had plunged the world into war and led to the deaths of millions, both in combat and in the planned slaughter of six million Jews that later became known as the Holocaust, had backfired spectacularly, plunging Germany into nightmare. Not only had he failed to destroy Bolshevism, his gamble in launching a two-front war had led to the destruction of Germany, the deaths of hundreds of thousands German civilians and soldiers, and the mass rape of German women in the East by soldiers in the advancing Red Army. His most hated enemy had allied itself with nations that he had only half-heartedly gone to war with, Britain and the United States, and the combination was too much to overcome. Although Hitler could not know it at the time, his folly had not only delivered the eastern half of Germany into the hands of his most hated enemies, but that domination would last 45 years, nearly four times as long as the Third Reich had endured.

In the bunker below the Reichstag, it was becoming increasingly obvious that it would not be very long at all before the Russians would reach the grounds of the Reichstag itself; within days, if not hours. In the days and weeks leading up to April 30, the mood in the bunker had become increasingly surreal. Hitler issued orders for counterattacks and attempts at breaking the stranglehold the Soviets were developing on Berlin to armies that no longer existed. He pondered models of the intended postwar rebuilding of his hometown of Linz, to which he said that he wished to retire after the war. When news of Frankin D. Roosevelt's death reached the bunker on April 12, Hitler had become jubilant, seeing the death of his enemy as a sign that the Reich's deliverance was at hand, that his enemies would collapse. It wasn't.

On April 20, Hitler's 56th birthday was celebrated, but the atmosphere was more funereal than celebratory. Hitler clearly saw the celebration of his birthday with his enemy well into the maneuver of completing its encirclement of Berlin as profoundly embarrassing, as did the few remaining loyalists in the bunker. Hitler did emerge from the bunker, climbing the stairs to the Reich Chancellery park. Greeting him with the raised arm "Heil Hitler" salute were soldiers from the SS-Division "Berlin" and twenty boys from the Hitler Youth who had distinguished themselves in combat. The whole scene reinforced the hopelessness of the situation. The defense of the Reich capital, relying on boys? However, it was a natural consequence of Hitler's all-or-nothing thinking. To him, it would be either victory or utter destruction, and if that meant throwing boys into combat against battle-hardened Soviet troops with vastly superior firepower, so be it. As he had raged before, if Germany failed then to him it deserved utter destruction. Two days later, at a briefing, Hitler learned that Soviet troops had broken through the inner defenses and were now moving through Berlin's northern suburbs. Hitler was told that an ordered counterattack had never taken place at all. At this news, the reality of the situation finally seemed to sink in, and Hitler snapped. Hitler screamed that he had been betrayed by all whom he had trusted, railing against the treachery of the army and claiming that the SS was lying to him. The troops refused to fight, and all defenses were down.

And then he stopped. He slumped in a chair and cried. The great dictator, the man responsible for starting a world war and who had callously ordered the murder of millions of innocents, sobbed. The man who had expressed no concern over the suffering of his people, and whose "scorched earth" war orders designed to resist at all costs and destroy infrastructure rather than let it be used by the Soviets (some of which had been secretly undermined by Albert Speer and various industrialists, who did not want to increase the suffering of the German people more) cried. He sobbed that the war was over. He vowed that he would stay in Berlin and lead the defense of the city. Then, rather than allow himself to be captured he would at the end kill himself. All urged himself to change his mind, to make an attempt to break out and retreat to his mountain redoubt of Berchtesgaden, there to continue to lead the resistance. His apocalyptic Wagnerian vision of Gotterdamerung would be fulfilled.

The situation continued to deteriorate, and several in the bunker left, preferring to take their chances trying to escape capture or to die in the open, rather than being trapped in the bunker. When Hitler learned on April 28 that one of his most trusted deputees, SS Chief Heinrich Himmler, had made peace overtures, it was the final straw, and Hitler went into one more monumental rage. On April 29, Adolf Hitler had married Eva Braun, exchanging vows in a simple ceremony. She had vowed to stay in the bunker with him, and would soon die with him. His last will read:

As I did not consider that I could take responsibility, during the years of struggle, of contracting a marriage, I have now decided, before the closing of my earthly career, to take as my wife that girl who, after many years of faithful friendship, entered, of her own free will, the practically besieged town in order to share her destiny with me. At her own desire she goes as my wife with me into death. It will compensate us for what we both lost through my work in the service of my people.

What I possess belongs - in so far as it has any value - to the Party. Should this no longer exist, to the State; should the State also be destroyed, no further decision of mine is necessary.

My pictures, in the collections which I have bought in the course of years, have never been collected for private purposes, but only for the extension of a gallery in my home town of Linz on Donau.

It is my most sincere wish that this bequest may be duly executed.

I nominate as my Executor my most faithful Party comrade,

Martin Bormann

He is given full legal authority to make all decisions. He is permitted to take out everything that has a sentimental value or is necessary for the maintenance of a modest simple life, for my brothers and sisters, also above all for the mother of my wife and my faithful co-workers who are well known to him, principally my old Secretaries Frau Winter etc. who have for many years aided me by their work.

I myself and my wife - in order to escape the disgrace of deposition or capitulation - choose death. It is our wish to be burnt immediately on the spot where I have carried out the greatest part of my daily work in the course of a twelve years' service to my people.

Given in Berlin, 29th April 1945, 4:00 a.m.
[Signed] A. Hitler

In another document, his last political testament, he dictated to his young secretary, Traudl Jung:

It is untrue that I or anyone else in Germany wanted war in 1939. It was desired and instigated exclusively by those international statesmen who were either of Jewish descent or who worked for Jewish interests. . .Centuries will pass away, but out of the ruins of our towns and cultureal monuments the hatred will ever renew itself against those ultimately responsible whom we have to thank for everything, international Jewry and its helpers.

Regarding the Holocaust, he obliquely but chillingly wrote:

I also left no doubt that, if the nations of Europe are again to be regarded as mere blocks of shares of these international money and finance conspirators, then that race, too, which is really guilty of this murderous struggle will be called to account: Jewry! I further left no one in doubt that this time millions of grown men would not suffer death, and hundreds of thousands of women and children not be burnt and bombed to death in the towns, without the real culprit haivng to atone for his guilt, even by more humane means.

The remainder of his testament was devoted to ramblings about a "renaissance" of National Socialism and the charade of nominating a successor government. His final charge to the successor government:

Above all, I charge the leadership of the nation and their subjects with the meticulous observation of the race laws and the merciless resistance to the universal poisoner of all peoples, international Jewry.

[Source: Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis by Ian Kershaw]

Even there, at the end, he could not release his hatred and wanted his successors to continue his persecution of the Jews.

Finally, in the afternoon of April 30, after taking lunch as usual with his secretaries, Hitler retired to his study with Eva Braun. Hitler's followers waited. And waited. No one heard a shot. Finally, according to accounts by Major Freytag von Loringhoven, Traudl Jung (Hitler's staff secretary, and subject of the documentary Blind Spot: Hitler's Secretary) and SS Staff Sgt. Rochus Misch, one of Hitler's bodyguards, Hitler's vale, Heinz Linge, got up the courage to look inside the room, and found Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun dead, Hitler having shot himself as he bit on a cyanide capsul, and Braun having taken a cyanide capsule. His remaining followers carried the bodies into the courtyard of the Reichstag, doused them with gasoline, and set them ablaze. In the meantime, Magda Goebbels poisoned herself and her six children with the help of SS doctor Helmuth Kunz.

Thus ended the life of one of the scourges of the 20th century. Rumors that Hitler had never died continued for decades, mainly because the Soviets never acknowledged that they had found Hitler's remains until relatively recently, when they put a fragment of Hitler's skull on display.

Carson's Foil Tommy Newsom Dies at 78

Tommy Newsom, the former backup bandleader on "The Tonight Show" whose "Mr. Excitement" nickname was a running joke for Johnny Carson, has died. He was 78.

Newsom died of cancer Saturday at his home in Portsmouth, the city of his birth, according to his nephew, Jim Newsom.

Newsom, who played saxophone, joined "The Tonight Show" in 1962 and rose from band member to assistant music director. He retired along with Carson in 1992.

Newsom won music direction Emmys for "Night of 100 Stars" in 1982 and "The 40th Annual Tony Awards Show" in 1986. "The Tonight Show" received five Emmy awards during Newsom's years on it.

"I hope he will be remembered as a gifted musician," Jim Newsom said Monday in a telephone interview. "I'm sure he will be remembered for his wit and deadpan humor on 'The Tonight Show.' And to some of us a certain age, he will always be remembered as Mr. Excitement."

That was the name Carson gave Newsom to make light of his low-key personality and drab brown and blue suits - a sharp contrast to the flashy style of bandleader Doc Severinsen.

"He became a running character in Carson's monologue," Jim Newsom said. "Tommy enjoyed that."

Not long after the Carson era ended in 1992, Newsom remarked that his image as an ordinary guy was "fairly accurate - compared to Rambo."

"I realize things have to end sometime," Newsom said at the time. "I felt regrets at it ending and there was a sense of relief in a way."

Along with his work on "The Tonight Show," Newsom arranged and composed music for Skitch Henderson, Woody Herman, Kenny Rogers, John Denver and other performers.

He also released several albums as a bandleader, including "Live From Beautiful Downtown Burbank" in 1978 and "I Remember You, Johnny" in 1996.

Newsom was born in 1929 and got his first horn for Christmas at age 8. He graduated from the Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore, then toured with a U.S. Air Force jazz ensemble during a four-year enlistment.

Before landing his "Tonight" gig, he toured the Soviet Union and South America with Benny Goodman and played in "The Merv Griffin Show" orchestra.

Newsom is survived by his wife of 50 years, Patricia, and their daughter, Candy Newsom

Princess Beatrice drinks William and Harry under the table

It seems anything that her older cousins can do, Princess Beatrice can do better.

When it comes to partying, Prince William and Harry might have set an example running up a £5,000 drinks bill at Soho nightclub Mahiki at the weekend.

But Princess Beatrice appeared more than equal to the task.

The 18-year-old was seen stumbling out of Royal favourite nightspot, Boujis at 3.15am yesterday, looking more than a little bleary-eyed after a night of heavy partying.

Barely able to focus and with her dark make-up smudged around the eyes, she appeared to reel sideways as she staggered outside, sending her coiffured auburn hair flying.

But she quickly recovered, hastily clambering into her waiting carriage under the watchful eye of her minders.

Wearing an eye-catching aqua and black satin dress, accessorised with a sequined blue bow handbag and a black alice band, the elder daughter of Andrew and Sarah, Duke and Duchess of York, enjoyed a night out with friends at the West London nightclub.

Onlookers described how she appeared to be in great spirits, although slightly unstable on her feet.

Muslim women regain virginity in France

PARIS -- Sitting in a cafe near the Champs Elysees, the 26-year-old French-born woman of Algerian descent looks like any other Parisian. But two months ago, she did something none of her friends have done.

She had her hymen re-sewn, technically making her a virgin again.

"I'm glad I had it done," said the woman, who spoke to Reuters on condition of anonymity. "I wanted to reconstruct part of my life, to reconstruct myself so that I could feel better about myself."

This 30-minute outpatient procedure, called "hymenoplasty" and costing between 1,500 and 3,000 euros ($2,000-$4,000), is increasingly popular among young women of North African descent in France.

No exact figures exist to say how many such operations are done, but the woman's surgeon says he gets three to five queries and performs one to three hymenoplasties each week. Demand has been rising for the past three or four years.

Doctor Marc Abecassis, whose office is near the chic Champs Elysees, sees the rise in religion among France's five million Muslims fuelling this trend. His patients are between 18 and 45 years old, Muslim, born both in France and in North Africa.

"Many of my patients are caught between two worlds," said Abecassis. They have had sex already but are expected to be virgins at marriage according to a custom that he called "cultural and traditional, with enormous family pressure."

For this woman, the decision to have the surgery came after she broke up with a boyfriend who had pressured her into having sex. Unable to cope with breaking family tradition, she felt a hymenoplasty would help put her life back together again.

Another of Abecassis' patients, a 22-year-old Algerian immigrant who asked to be called Karima, said most young women had the operation to respect their culture or family tradition, not for religious reasons.

In fact, neither woman is a practicing Muslim. They dress, speak and act like other young Parisians, but are also part of a growing silent group of women who juggle traditional Muslim and modern French values.

Opening night crowd for Disney's "The Ant Bully"...

Time Lapse Takeoff from an Airport...

Deep Thoughts from SuperModels

1. ON COURAGE "They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind."
-- Cindy Crawford

2. ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE "Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not my cleavage."
-- Carole Mallory

3. ON POVERTY "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery."
-- Beverly Johnson

4. ON FATE "I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that."
-- Christie Brinkley

5. ON PSYCHOLOGY "I loved making 'Rising Sun'. I got into the psychology of why she liked to get strangled and tied up in plastic bags. It has to do with low self-worth."
-- Tatjana Patitz

6. ON ARRIVING "Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take."
-- Kathy Ireland, star of 'Alien From L.A.' and 'Danger Island'

7. ON CAREER CHOICES "My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian."
-- Paulina Porizkova

8. ON PRIORITIES "I would rather exercise than read a newspaper."
-- Kim Alexis

9. ON GEOPOLITICS "Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament."
-- Jerry Hall

10. ON INNER STRENGTH "I love the confidence that makeup gives me."
-- Tyra Banks

11. ON DEATH "Richard doesn't really like me to kill bugs, but sometimes I can't help it."
-- Cindy Crawford

12. ON TRAVEL "I haven't seen the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, the Louvre. I haven't seen anything. I don't really care."
-- Tyra Banks

13. ON BREAKTHROUGHS "Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modeling."
-- Gabrielle Reece

14. ON EPIPHANY "I just found out that I'm one inch taller than I thought."
-- Christie Brinkley

15. ON HEREDITY "My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.'"
-- Beverly Johnson

16. ON THE BASICS "It's very important to have the right clothing to exercise in. If you throw on an old T-shirt or sweats, it's not inspiring for your workout."
-- Cheryl Tiegs

17. ON INTRODUCTIONS "I think most people are curious about what it would be like to be able to meet yourself -- it's eerie."
-- Christy Turlington

18. ON COURTSHIP "The soundtrack to 'Indecent Exposure' is a romantic mix of music that I know most women love to hear, so I never keep it far from me when women are nearby."
-- Fabio

19. ON PARADOX "Sometimes I get lonely, but it's nice to be alone."
-- Tatjana Patitz

FemJoy

See more HERE.

The Captain and Lee

Captain Kangaroo passed away on January 23, 2004 at age 76, which is odd, because he always looked to be 76. (DOB: 6/27/27 ). His death reminded me of the following story.

Some people have been a bit offended that the actor, Lee Marvin, is buried in a grave alongside 3 and 4 star generals at Arlington National Cemetery. His marker gives his name, rank (PVT), and service (USMC). Nothing else. Here's a guy who was only a famous movie star who served his time, why the heck does he rate burial with these guys? Well, following is the amazing answer: I always liked Lee Marvin but didn't know the extent of his Corps experiences.

In a time when many Hollywood stars served their country in the armed forces often in rear echelon posts where they were carefully protected only to be trotted out to perform for the cameras in war bond promotions. Lee Marvin was a genuine hero. He won the Navy Cross at Iwo Jima . There is only one higher Naval award... the Medal Of Honor

If that is a surprising comment on the true character of the man, he credits his sergeant with an even greater show of bravery.

Dialog from "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson": His guest was Lee Marvin Johnny said, "Lee, I'll bet a lot of people are unaware that you were a Marine in the initial landing at Iwo Jima...and that during the course of that action you earned the Navy Cross and were severely wounded."

"Yeah, yeah... I got shot square in the bottom and they gave me the Cross for securing a hot spot about halfway up Suribachi. Bad thing about getting shot up on a mountain is guys getting' shot hauling you down. But,Johnny, at Iwo I served under the bravest man I ever knew... We both got the cross the same day, but what he did for his Cross made mine look cheap in comparison. That dumb guy actually stood up on Red beach and directed his troops to move forward and get the hell off the beach. Bullets flying by, with mortar rounds landing everywhere and he stood there as the main target of gunfire so that he could get his men to safety. He did this on more than one occasion because his men's safety was more important than his own life. That Sergeant and I have been lifelong friends. When they brought me off Suribachi we passed the Sergeant and he lit a smoke and passed it to me, lying on my belly on the litter and said, where'd they get you Lee?' Well Bob... if you make it home be fore me, tell Mom to sell the outhouse!" Johnny, I'm not lying, Sergeant Keeshan was the bravest man I ever knew. The Sergeant's name is Bob Keeshan. You and the world know him as Captain Kangaroo."

The Doll Squad

SCHNEIDER SELLING OFF GENERAL LEE

Former DUKES OF HAZZARD star JOHN SCHNEIDER is selling the 'General Lee' car he bought from producers when the TV series came to an end.

The actor, who played Bo Duke in the hit series, used the famous car, one of many replica Dodge Chargers, as his own personal ride on the set.
And when the show ended in 1985, Schneider took the car with him and has used it ever since.
Dubbing it Traveler, the car even featured in Schneider's last film, John Schneider's Collier & Co - Hot Pursuit.
And now the actor is parting with his beloved orange motor on auction website eBay, so he can fund a sequel to Hot Pursuit.
A spokesman says, "The car is ranked as one of the most famous in the world.
John has driven it for years, and has raced it in many events around the country. It has a powerful racing engine." The auction runs until the end of the week (ends27Apr07).

In the running to replace Rosie on THE VIEW...

Rosanne Barr, Joan Rivers, Whoopi Goldberg, Kathie Lee Gifford and Connie Chung.

I miss Moms Mabley....

'KIDNAP' BY BOY GEORGE (DUH)

Boy George was arrested after a terrified male escort fled his flat - claiming the singer imprisoned him as a bondage slave... Developing...

hummm....wonder where George Michael was during this?....

Britney Spears Tour Dates

The recently rehabbed mother of two is indeed embarking on a mini-tour of Southern California THIS week.

Performing under the alias "The M & Ms", BS will play at three House of Blues Venues.

In San Diego on May 1st, Anaheim on May 2nd and the HOB in West Hollywood on May 3rd.

Joss Stone and her friend Mr. Chicken...

lesbian festival to be held in Spain

Official website: here

Proud To Be An American

Scarlett Johansson Rocks The Coachella Music Festival

INDIO, Calif. - Actress Scarlett Johansson proved her singing mettle taking the main stage at the Coachella music festival last night.

The star joined reformed Scottish band the Jesus and Mary Chain to sing vocals on the track "Just Like Honey."

Wearing a mini dress, fedora hat and cherry red high heels, Scarlett joined the band on stage three-quarters of the way through their set. The band"s singer, Jim Reid did not tell the thousands in the crowd who their special guest was but hugged her at the end of the song.

Wonder Pill

Pill to boost women's sex drive and help them lose weight

A DRUG that boosts female sex drive while helping women lose weight is being developed by one of Scotland's leading experts on human reproduction.

Professor Robert Millar has been working on a hormone that can be used to treat loss of libido, a problem that affects millions of women each year.

But Millar, director of the Human Reproductive Sciences Unit at the Medical Research Council, said the hormone has the added benefit of suppressing appetite.

Tests of the "wonder pill" on animals have proved successful, but Millar admits a version for humans could be as much as a decade away.

The scientist has spent 30 years researching

Type 2 gonadotropin-releasing hormone, which drives the reproductive system in animals and humans.

Millar said that when female musk shrews and marmoset monkeys were directly injected with doses of Type 2 GnRH, they displayed classic mating behaviour towards their male counterparts.

In musk shrews this was shown by "rump presentation and tail wagging", and in monkeys it included "tongue flicking and eyebrow raising".

However, in an unexpected short-term side-effect, the laboratory animals also ate significantly less food than usual. In some cases this was one-third less than their usual daily diet.

Millar expects that a similar rise in libido and lessening of appetite would be seen in women given the hormone. He will now work on reproducing it in the form of a pill.

Bart bares all in film

In the unlikeliest nude scene since Kathy Bates' hot-tub hijinks in About Schmidt, Bart Simpson will reportedly go full frontal in his upcoming feature film.

According to Newsweek, which got a sneak peek at The Simpsons Movie, "little Bart flashes his little part to the entire world" while skateboarding sans clothing on a dare from dad Homer.

If his full Monty makes it to the big screen in July, the magazine notes, it may be the first time a Hollywood movie has exposed this sort of skin -- albeit in cartoon form -- without being slapped with an R-rating.

Not surprisingly, buzz around young Simpson's sceptre is already nearing fever pitch among pundits and fans.

"That Bart is a cartoon character, and a defiant adolescent one at that, does make the cultural interest in his private parts more complex and intriguing," says Kim Blank, a professor of popular culture at the University of Victoria.

"But the bottom line -- pun intended -- is that Bart, despite the little pixels that constitute his personhood, is an American icon -- a transcendent celebrity who defies age. And we, as a culture, are always interested in seeing naked celebrities, if only to confirm our fantasy that they have what we have."

Although the pioneer of cartoon flesh was Fritz the Cat, which in 1972 became the first animated feature to be rated X, it was arguably Canada's own Heavy Metal that popularized it. The adult-oriented fantasy film has grown into a cult sensation since its big-screen debut in 1981, which was met with a restricted rating due to copious amounts of animated sex and nudity.

More recently, the makers of 2004's Team America: World Police had to re-cut a sex scene involving genitalia-free puppets nine times before the Motion Picture Association of America withdrew the movie's NC-17 rating and replaced it with an R.

Young Simpson's foray into flashing, however, is likely to elicit giggles rather than criticism.

"You have to keep in mind how well we have come to know Bart, and this new nude knowledge represents a small but meaningful extension of that," says Blank. "Bart revealing himself is really us revealing ourselves."

Although Bart's big-screen exhibitionism will be a first for Springfield's first family, cartoon historians will note the Simpsons have enjoyed a long-standing flirtation with the naughty.

The cover of the 1991 book The Simpsons Uncensored Family Album showed a nude Bart sprawled stomach-down on a bearskin rug in a cheeky homage to Burt Reynolds' Cosmopolitan centerfold shoot of 1972.

Then, in 2002, Rolling Stone printed a photo on its table of contents exposing baby Bart's cartoon genitals. The picture -- which was also featured on the cover, sans pint-size penis -- was a recreation of Nirvana's album art for Nevermind.

And according to The Simpsons Archive, the show has aired more than 200 different scenes of implied or pixilated nudity and sexual situations during its nearly two-decade run.

John Alberti, a professor of English at Northern Kentucky University and recognized Simpsons scholar, says any ruffled feathers over such cartoon drawings demonstrates that "it's not the actual parts of the body, it's the meaning attached to them" that counts.

"To me, it's far more disturbing to see Homer hitting himself in the eye with a hammer (in the movie trailer) than to see a little boy skateboard naked," says Alberti.

But Cory Silverberg, a sexual health educator from Toronto, believes critics are letting their jerking knees obscure the reality of the situation.

"I'm always concerned when I hear about child actors being put into uncomfortable situations. But this is not a person, it's a cartoon," says Silverberg.

2007 Swimwear revealed?

Slaughter: Horror at Sony's depraved promotion stunt with decapitated goat

Electronics giant Sony has sparked a major row over animal cruelty and the ethics of the computer industry by using a freshly slaughtered goat to promote a violent video game.

The corpse of the decapitated animal was the centrepiece of a party to celebrate the launch of the God Of War II game for the company’s PlayStation 2 console.

Guests at the event were even invited to reach inside the goat’s still-warm carcass to eat offal from its stomach.

Sickening images of the party have appeared in the company’s official PlayStation magazine – but after being contacted by The Mail on Sunday, Sony issued an apology for the gruesome stunt and promised to recall the entire print run.

Critics condemned the entertainment giant, which produces scores of Hollywood blockbusters each year, for its "blood lust" and said the grotesque "sacrifice" highlighted increasing concerns over the content of video games and the lengths to which the industry will go to exploit youngsters.

At the event, guests competed to see who could eat the most offal – procured elsewhere and intended to resemble the goat’s intestines – from its stomach.

They also threw knives at targets and pulled live snakes from a pit with their bare hands.

Topless girls added to the louche atmosphere by dipping grapes into guests’ mouths, while a male model portraying Kratos, the game’s warrior hero, handed out garlands.

The International Fund for Animal Welfare said it was "outrageous" that the animal’s death had been used "to sell a few computer games".

A spokesman said: "We are always opposed to any senseless killing of an animal and this sounds like a gruesome death. We condemn Sony’s actions. It is stupid and completely unjustified."

The party features across two pages of the latest edition of the company’s PlayStation magazine, which was due to hit newsstands on Tuesday but has already been sent to subscribers.

We have reproduced the spread – headlined Sony’s Greek Orgy – here, but have pixellated the image to spare readers the sight of the goat’s decapitated head hanging by a thread of tissue from its corpse, with blood dripping to the floor.

But the magazine’s readers were shown the picture in its full horror.

The article, based on a Sony Press release, shows more vivid pictures from the event under headlines such as Topless Girls! and Flesh Eating?

It asks readers how far they would go to get hold of Sony’s next-generation console, the PlayStation 3.

"How about eating still warm intestines uncoiled from the carcass of a freshly slaughtered goat? At the party to celebrate God Of War II’s European release, members of the Press were invited to do just that . . ."

In God Of War II, which is so violent it has been given an 18 certificate, players follow Kratos into battle against a series of fearsome characters from Greek mythology.

Sony describes it as "an adult-rated, fast-paced bloodbath – and enormous fun to boot", adding that it is "bigger, better and as brutal as ever".

One reviewer said the title featured "the most brutal, visceral combat of any action game".

Former Minister Keith Vaz, Labour MP for Leicester East and a long-time campaigner against violent computer games, branded the stunt "distasteful and irresponsible".

He said: "The slaughter of animals is not something that should be done to advertise a product.

"Sony as a global entertainment company has a social responsibility. At this event it failed in that responsibility.

"I think people should think very carefully before bringing games like this into their homes.

"I would understand if customers wanted to boycott other Sony products such as their televisions because of this controversy."

Sony, based in Japan and run by Welshman Sir Howard Stringer, is one of the largest media organisations in the world, boasting global revenues of £40billion from electronics, video games, music, television programmes and feature films – including Spider-Man 3 and Casino Royale.

It is regarded, along with Coca-Cola, Nike and Mercedes-Benz, as one of the world’s most valuable brands.

The company, which released the game in the UK on Friday, admitted that the stunt had been a mistake. In a statement it said: "Sony does not condone or sanction any inappropriate behaviour by its staff or sub-contracted staff.

"It has come to our attention that at the God Of War II launch showcase, an element of the event was of an unsuitable nature.

"We are conducting an internal inquiry into aspects of the event in order to learn from the occurrence and put into place measures to ensure that this does not happen again."

The party was held last month in Athens in homage to the game’s Greek mythology themes. Revellers partied against the floodlit backdrop of the Parthenon.

The Sony spokesman said the animal had not been slaughtered for the event but had been bought from a local butcher by the Greek company hired to stage the event.

What purported to be warm intestines was actually warm offal.

He said Sony’s UK office had been shocked to see the report in the official PlayStation magazine, which the company licenses to publishing house Future. Sony is this weekend recalling the entire 80,000 print run of the magazine.

The offending article will be removed because of the "sensitivity of the general public over issues of animal welfare".

The firm refused to say how the goat died. It is unusual for animals in modern Greece to be killed by having their throats cut, let alone by being decapitated.

It is not the first time Sony has been involved in controversy over its games. In 2004, the PlayStation 2 game Manhunt was banned by High Street stores in the UK after it was linked to the murder of a 14-year-old Leicester boy.

Last September the relatives of a family massacred by a New Mexico teenager addicted to Grand Theft Auto: Vice City launched a £317 million lawsuit against the entertainment company.

And in November, Europe’s justice commissioner Franco Frattini was so shocked by the "obscene cruelty and brutality" of Sony’s Rule Of Rose PlayStation game that he wrote to all EU governments urging tighter controls on the "dreadful game".

Oscar Talk...

When three small town National Guardsmen bound for Iraq are unknowingly dropped into Mexico, their confusion leads them to "liberate" a small village from a band of corrupt Federales.

Two hunters (Bill Engvall, Larry the Cable Guy) who are good with guns get picked up by the Feds to be deployed to Iraq. The plane actually drops them off in Mexico which they think is Iraq and go on to deal with Mexican outlaws. The leader of the gang is named Carlos Santana and so far the most popular joke is for everyone to say "the singer?" after hearing his name said. And no it isn't the singer, but the baddest outlaw in all of Mexico...

Gross! Contest Attracts Public Radio Amateurs

Blood is in the water over at public radio, where top brass has apparently decided that Jesse Camp didn't teach big broadcasters enough lessons back in 1998. Officially, it's the "Public Radio Talent Quest," but Ira "I Am Shattering" Glass is calling it "This American Idol." The game is that people submit a short radio piece, and after a couple weeks of voting, the field starts to narrow and a panel of radio experts/personalities choose the best. If you win--and three people will--you get 10 grand and a mentor, who will help you produce a pilot of your show and shop it to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

The big questions, as per the "Talent Quest" website: "Do you have what it takes to be public radio's next great host? Do you have that most elusive of qualities - hostiness? Now is your chance." And just what is "hostiness"? No better way to know then to dig through the submissions, all of which are available for streaming along with comments from their creators and banter between friends.

On the whole, it seems that kids (and olds) have learned about as much about NPR house style from the SNL parodies as they have from the actual programming. Let's see... anemic tonal detachment? Check! Coffee house world music? Check! Subordinate clauses, apposition, and em-dashes? Ballin'! Film professor Jeff Midents crams fifteen clarifying phrases/clauses into his two-minute riff on green-eyed artist Nawi Oleen which averages out for one every ten seconds, enough to give the boy Robert Siegel a run for his money.

Which is not to say there's not life out there. Peep "soultalker" a.k.a. The Pleasure Activist on the topic of liberation and sexuality: "I LOVE 'BODY JOY.' WHAT A GREAT, GREAT NAME FOR A BUSINESS." Also check out GW affiliates Gabe and Kibs' "After the Fact" with Ulysses McLoud, a fictional high school teacher fired for refusing to grade his students ( "It reminded me of one of my favorite books by Nathanial Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter....I'll admit it, I was sick of these kids getting dehumanized").

Then there's the almighty Nurmi Hasa, a self-proclaimed lover of literature who "divides his time between Second Century Rome, fin-de-siecle London, pre-revolutionary St. Petersburg, and 21st Century Cascadia." Make sure to actually listen to this one; doggie starts his piece with a fireside chuckle, then purrs his way slowly through the rest like a big furry cat:

You know, I often feel as though I'm living more than one life, which makes me sort of an intellectual bigamist, I suppose. I mean, there's my real life and my life in books, not to be confused with the lives I lead in music and British television shows.... [My life in books] isn't organized by date or event, it's organized by writer. As in, 'before Hildesheimer,' or 'after Saki.' And I don't read books; anyone can read books. I read writers. If you grab me, I'll track you down and inhale everything you've ever written. Which I suppose makes me an intellectual stalker as well as a bigamist. Like most folk in the rain soaked northwest I always have a tome or two going...

Mr. Hasa has a friend in one Linda Lowen, a 46-year-old semi-professional radio worker who can be seen telling him in a comment thread that his submission was the first she'd heard to give her "a chill, a good one, the kind where your soul shifts and you feel it."

If you're wondering where exactly Linda felt that chill, look no further than her submission, a politically porny yarn about a house by the sea occupied by five wives/mothers who have put their lives on hold for the duties of family. Over a pale, quiet piano, Linda describes her "Momma, I'm So Sorry" fantasy, in which she pairs each of her little women with a "brilliant," "talented" young man, who is paid a cool million to do her bidding so that she can explore her passions. "After six months, with a woman unfettered to do whatever she could dream of doing and a man saddled with what most women do every day," Linda says, her p's and t's light as a feather, "I'd see what those lives were like now that they had been changed by living in each other's shoes. All this would happen in my house by the sea."

Another thing that would probably happen there is drowning, right fellas? According to her bio, Linda was raised Jewish by her "Japanese mother and Brooklyn-born father." These days she's keeping busy doing Zen practice and reconnecting with her Buddhist roots. Her secret talent? "It's goofy: I can hum and whistle at the same time, thus sounding like an alien spaceship approaching."

Mr. Hasa, for one, is impressed and enchanted. While Linda visits other people's pages and posts questions about why more women aren't entering the contest, Mr. Hasa, "a pretty radical feminist... happy to speak up on gender issues," warmly responds to her on her own page: "Lovely production, lovely voice, lovely sentiments. 'Two hundred a year and a room of her own.' Yep. Women sacrifice far too much in this culture. And for what? For men to have the time to blow up little brown children? Nope. Not right."

They go back and forth like this for six more posts, each one more tender than the last. Next thing you know, they'll be meeting up in the local library's private A/V room. No one tell Mr. Linda!

Deadline for submissions is May 14th. Three rounds later, a winner will be announced on September 24. In the meantime, Ira Glass: "Enter the Public Radio Talent Quest. This is no joke."

Montrose

Lindsay and her "girlfriend"

See more HERE.

Government Training Porn

See it HERE.

My Beloveds Garden:Marital aids, Christian sex toys

THIS SECTION OF OUR WEBSITE IS DESIGNED FOR MARRIED COUPLES WITH A DESIRE TO ENJOY AND EXPAND THEIR CHRISTIAN SEX EXPERIENCE.

See it HERE.

Playboy Black Jack coming to mobiles

The first in a new series of naughty gambling games Erotic games seem to enjoy more widespread acceptance on mobiles than they do elsewhere, and the latest set to contribute to the, erm, unseemly scrum of flesh is Playboy Black Jack.

Developed by Qplaze, Playboy Black Jack puts an erotic twist (if that's not the name of a cocktail it should be) on the casino favourite. What this means is that the better your game, the less clothes the girls on the other side of the table will be wearing. And that is about all there is to it.

Clearly keen to make the best use possible of the Playboy licence, the developer Qplaze has a series of erotic games in the pipeline including�Playboy Poker, Playboy Slot Machine and Playboy Jacks or Better.

Call us prudes, but surely playing these games on the bus is ill-advised? You never know who could be looking over your shoulder, but it isn't likely to be a semi-clad Tera Patrick.

Remove My Man Boobs Dot Com Pleads For Your Help

It's crazy, a bit "out there" but a genius idea! www.removemymanboobs.com is one of the most interesting websites as of late.

A 21 year old male from Australia who goes by the name of "Mr Man Boobs" has set up a donation website where he asks the public to donate money for an operation to remove his larger than normal breasts.

The website contains pictures of his body as well as a progress bar which displays how much money has been donated, as well as a captivating story of the pain and emotions one can face while suffering from the condition (known as Gynecomastia).

Whether or not he will raise the $5,000 is unknown, however it definitely is worth a look (and read) and it must be said that "Mr Man Boobs" has shown a lot of courage and determination to set up the website.

Will he make the $5,000? Let's hope so, because it really is for a good cause. You can visit the site at www.removemymanboobs.com


And if thats not enough, those who have them have a club HERE.

Tyra is NUTS...or Gay...

See her fetish HERE.

XXX Church?

I'm so confused, now you can be TOO...check it out HERE.

37 Great Quotes

37. “I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off.’ Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.” — Paris Hilton

36. “What’s Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like wall stuff?” — Paris Hilton

35. “The most loving thing to do is to share your bed with someone.” — Michael Jackson

34. “If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.” — Cyndi Lauper

33. “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life.” — Brooke Shields

32. “[I hope] my child will be a good Catholic like me.” — Madonna

31. “It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.” — Axl Rose

30. “I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five.” — Mick Jagger

29. “It’s not that I dislike many people. It’s just that I don’t like many people.” — Bryant Gumbel

28. “I look at [modeling] as something I’m doing for black people in general.” — model Naomi Campbell

27. “When I’m really hot, I can walk into a room and if a man doesn’t look at me, he’s probably gay.” — Kathleen Turner

26. “When you say I committed adultery, are you stating before the marriage of 1996 or prior to?” — Dallas Cowboys cornerback Deion Sanders

25. “We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees.” — NBA player Jason Kidd

24. “Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.” — Charles Barkley

23. “If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it’s Big Business.” — Donald Trump

22. “You know, it really doesn’t matter what [the media] write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.” — Donald Trump

21. “He speaks English, Spanish, and he’s bilingual too.” — Don King

20. “From the waist down, Earl Campbell has the biggest legs I’ve ever seen on a running back.” — John Madden

19. “Predictions are difficult, especially about the future.” — Yogi Berra

18. “The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” — Joe Theismann

17. “I don’t think anybody should write his autobiography until after he’s dead.” — Samuel Goldwyn

16. “I never get bored, because there’s always different puzzles, I’m wearing different clothes, there’s different contestants, there’s different prizes.” — Vanna White

15. “I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our fifty-two states.” — Racquel Welch

14. “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” — Britney Spears

13. “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears

12. “So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” — Christina Aguilera

11. “I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.” — Alicia Silverstone

10. “I’ve got taste. It’s inbred in me.” — David Hasselhoff

9. “I cried over beauty, I cried over pain, and the other time I cried because I felt nothing. I can’t help it. I’m just a clich� of myself.” — Keanu Reeves

8. “I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.” — Jessica Simpson

7. “Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says chicken of the sea.” — Jessica Simpson

6. “I’m sounding worse than Jessica Simpson right now. She’s looking like a rock scientist.” — Tara Reid

5. “I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger

4. “I love California. I grew up in Phoenix.” — Dan Quayle

3. “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” — George W. Bush

2. “Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.” — George W. Bush

1. “Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?” — George W. Bush

Paris Hilton Autopsy' Educates New York City Teens

NEW YORK, April 26 /PRNewswire/ -- Paris Hilton's naked "corpse" could
provide an invaluable service to students preparing for prom this season.
An interactive Public Service Announcement featuring the graphic display of
a tiara-wearing, autopsied Paris Hilton with removable innards is designed
to warn teenagers of the hazards of underage drinking. The display also
features Tinkerbell, Hilton's forlorn pet Chihuahua with matching tiara,
and debuts in the trendy Williamsburg, Brooklyn neighborhood where
prom-goers frequently dine, courtesy of Capla Kesting Fine Art.


"Campaign to Rescue Women of Youth" featuring "The Paris Hilton
Autopsy" offers a cadaveric nude Paris Hilton, laid out with twisted body
and opened abdominal cavity on a coroner's table, while her cell phone
remains in her grip. The 'unglamorous' display which includes support
material from anti-drunk driving organizations counters "the disturbingly
glamorized trend of Hollywood's 'girls gone wild'," according to gallery
director, David Kesting.

Paris Hilton, arrested for a DUI last year, previously released a
marginally effective PSA concerning drunk driving. This latest PSA includes
a website by Capla Kesting, which offers high school educators an
icebreaker for discussing drunk driving's consequences. Students are
encouraged to take the virtual field trip at http://www.ParisHiltonAutopsy.com to
view the making of the "Paris Hilton Autopsy" and compete for prizes by
writing Paris Hilton's obituary.

The tableau, created by Daniel Edwards, reminds potential prom queens
no one is impervious to the pitfalls of drinking. Recalling Miss USA's
recent battle to keep her crown through alcohol rehab and Princess Diana's
untimely death due to drunk driving, a skewed hotel heiress's tiara adorns
the lifeless Paris Hilton head.

The PSA also observes the teen pregnancy crisis associated with alcohol
impaired judgment. The "Hilton Autopsy" tragically reveals drunk driving's
heartbreaking collateral damage.

Kesting, advocating teenagers to experience the Hilton display
"hands-on," said, "Paris' internals, which include her small intestines,
and other elements, are removable to assist teens with an empathetic view
of drunk driving tragedy from the coroner's perspective."
UK's Daily Star recently reported Paris Hilton, whose last chilling
portrayal came from 2005's "House of Wax" in a well publicized death scene,
had commissioned Daniel Edwards for a sculpture of her to be placed on Los
Angeles' Sunset Strip.

The Future...The Cone

The Cone Launches on The Jonathan Ross Show
The Cone received raucous acclaim on The Jonathan Ross Show. BBC1 viewers were treated to an entertaining feature devoted entirely to The Cone for being the latest in "auto-freak technology". Jonathan Ross couldn't resist The Cone's charm and alleged .If that doesn't get you ladies you�ve been dead for seven years�, before he proudly, publicly avowed that he was taking it home. The Cone even outdid Jonathan�s wardrobe in terms of boldness and extravagance. Because of the BBC's copyright issues, we're not allowed to show the clip, but we do have a transcript of the show, and it's well worth a read if you fancy a giggle.


Experience more HERE.

Alan Thicke and wife Tanya....WOW!

Veil of protection from modern life

Ya there's a story HERE.

Shameless Plug....

Vote for us HERE. chucksweirdworld

Britney's Cowgirl Outfit...yippee

Rush's "Magic Negro" Routine

Rush Limbaugh has obviously learned nothing from the outrage and anger unleashed by Don Imus' unfortunate "nappy headed ho's" remark. Never one to shy away from unfunny "humor", Limbaugh recently played a song parody on his radio show in which an Al Sharpton impersonator (played with stereotypical gusto) sings a song filled with idiotic assumptions about black people and dripping with ignorance called "Barack the Magic Negro".

Perhaps this kind of garbage (set to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon") is someone's cup of tea. Limbaugh does have millions of listeners and they do adore of much of what the man says. Whether he's lampooning former President Clinton's daughter or suggesting Michael J. Fox is exaggerating the effects of his Parkinson's disease. So I don't expect his listeners to desert him over this. What does surprise me is that Vice President Dick Cheney among other major conservatives is still a regular guest on Limbaugh's show and I don't anticipate the kind of repudiations that Don Imus received over his transgression from him or anyone else on the right with regards to Limbaugh.

It is true that Imus was chided because he was on a national cable news network and was perhaps less associated with being a provocateur than Limbaugh. But I still think Cheney and his ilk should refuse to appear on Limbaugh's show from now on. I wonder, will there be any outcry? Are people becoming so desensitized to this now that they just don't care about the inevitable phony apology and/or Al Sharpton protest. I'd like to see calls for Limbaugh's removal not just from the black community but from the supporters of the president and vice-president who are not racist, who don't find "jokes" like "Barack The Magic Negro" funny.

But this will never, ever happen. Limbaugh's entire career and success is based on being petty and juvenile, so one more stupid act will most likely change nothing. Personally, I'm just disheartened that so soon after the Imus controversy came and went the so-called shock jocks and right wing nuts went right back to business as usual, didn't blink an eye and continued to use racism to insult and humiliate.

Woman ‘tricked into sex’ by penis cream treatment

A Syrian-born airline pilot allegedly tricked a schoolteacher from Haverfordwest into having sex with him by pretending he had to administer ointment on the end of his penis, a jury heard Tuesday.

Fadi Sbano, 38, even pretended to know a gynaecologist who advised him on how often to have intercourse with her and whether to thrust "slowly or quickly". And, on the "doctor's advice", he kept a clock on the bedside table to time the sessions.

The teacher put up with the treatment for nine months before telling her doctor.

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Huw Rees, prosecuting, told Swansea crown court: "The allegations here are of rape by deception."

Mr Rees said the pair met while Sbano was based at Gatwick and the teacher was working nearby.

In November, 2000, she discovered a rash of white spots and feared that typhoid, which she contracted on holiday some years before, had returned.

Sbano claimed he was in talks with a gynaecologist who was anxious for a certain cream to be applied, the prosecutor said.

"He (Sbano) suggested he would apply the cream to his penis and apply it inside her.

Mr Rees said the woman found the sessions "Clinical, not at all erotic". She consented only because she believed it was a proper treatment.

"When the insertions took place, and depending on the instructions of his friend, he would thrust slowly or quickly for anything from one to ten minutes,"

Her doctor told her to find out the identity of Sbano's gynaecologist friend but he "became evasive and never gave his name" beyond the word "Ibby".

"It began to dawn on her that he had devised this treatment in order to have sex with her on his terms."

Mr Rees said "Ibby" was traced but said he knew nothing about the treatment.

Sbano was arrested at Heathrow while attending a pilots' training facility.

He claimed the woman had invented the entire story about the "treatment".

Sbano, from Harrow, London, denies nine charges of rape and 11 or obtaining money by deception.

The trial continues.