All Girl Tribute Bands

Lez Zeppelin

Cheap Chick

The Ramonas

AC/D SHE

Whole Lot of Rosie

Hells Bells

Dream on Rocks

Bull charges bullfight spectator

At least two people are being treated in hospital in Mexico City after a bull leapt into a crowd during a bullfight.

The half-ton bull - named Pajarito or Little Bird - breached the safety barrier and landed on the fans.

The rampage ended when a fight participant entered the stand and killed the animal with his sword.

Mexico City's bullring was built 60 years ago and is one of the biggest in the world, with a capacity of 48,000.

Television images of the bullfight showed the beast jump over the heads of journalists and into the most expensive seats at the capital's vast ring.

One woman spectator received a six-inch (15-cm) gash in her chest.

The bullfight resumed 30 minutes after the incident. Little Bird is the first bull in the ring's history to jump into the crowd.

You can view this "dance of the hoofed beast" right HERE.

Dominatrix acquitted in client's death

DEDHAM, Massachusetts -- A dominatrix was acquitted of manslaughter Monday in the death of a man who prosecutors say suffered a heart attack while strapped to a replica of a medieval rack.

Barbara Asher, a 56-year-old woman who called herself Mistress Lauren M, was also cleared of dismembering the man's corpse to conceal the death.

Prosecutors said that 53-year-old Michael Lord suffered a heart attack in 2000 during a bondage session in a "dungeon" in Asher's condominium.

Asher was accused of doing nothing to help him for five minutes, fearing authorities would discovery her business.

Asher had her boyfriend chop up the body of the 275-pound retired telephone company worker, and they dumped it behind a restaurant in Maine, prosecutors said.

His remains have never been found.

Prosecutors said Asher confessed to police, but the alleged confession was not taped.

Investigators testified they did not save their notes.

Asher's lawyer, Stephanie Page, said there was nothing to prove Lord was even dead -- no body, no blood, no DNA.

During his closing argument to the jury, prosecutor Robert Nelson put on a black leather mask with a zippered mouth opening and re-enacted the bondage session.

With both hands, he reached back and clutched the top of a blackboard as if strapped to the rack. Then he hung his head as if dead.

Asher's lawyer objected, and the judge agreed.

"That's enough Mr. Nelson," Judge Charles Grabau said. "Thank you for your demonstration."

Peristaltic Action by Michelle Hines

To quote John Waters (2003): “I love work that can horrify me in a new witty way. I have the opposite of contempt for art: I want to see art which causes contempt. If it’s good art, contempt turns into love.”

"Peristaltic Action" by Michelle Hines:

And the accompanying text: “In February 1995, working in conjunction with nutritionists at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, I adopted a super fiber-rich diet which allowed me to successfully produce a single extruded excrement the exact length of my colon: 26 feet.

I documented the extrusion at the Cranbrook-Kingswood High School Bowling Alley, Bloomfield Hills, MI, which offered a length of floor suitable for the process and measuring the results.

The cathartic diet was supplemented by a high intake of Metamucil fiber substance. The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.”

Source: Waters, J., & Hainley, B. (2003). Art: A sex book. New York: Thames & Hudson.

Homeland Security addicted to porn

[To keep you safe, your War On Terror pals both produce and enjoy porn]

Homeland Security bureaucrats just look at pornography all day, a startling new government report suggests.

The terror bureaucracy’s internal computer network logged a staggering 65 million security alerts in just 90 days, according to the study (PDF) released today by Homeland Security Department inspector general Dick Skinner.

The DHS computer network is such an ineptly run mess that it's unknown how many of those 65 million porn alarms are really caused by Homeland Security employees looking at naked pictures.

An expensive network of programs are used to constantly spy on all employee computers, but it all works so poorly that nobody can tell the difference between one cubicle drone looking for "oral sex" pictures or another typing the word "behavioral," Washington Technology reported today.

What is known for sure is that porn alarms are going off at an explosive rate.

In July 2004, for example, the DHS network was logging 5.4 million "security events" per month. Less than a year later, when Inspector Skinner collected information for his investigation, that number had skyrocketed to 21.6 million per month.

The report concludes that Homeland Security has a laughably vulnerable computer network that is pounded by a steady stream of virus and hacker attacks while DHS employees engage in highly unprofessional and dangerous computer activities.

It's just the latest embarrassing scandal for the bloated federal agency. Earlier this month, former attorney general John Ashcroft was caught chasing lucrative Homeland Security contracts for his business clients.

The gold standard of Homeland Security corruption remains GOP Congressman Roy Blunt's incredible stunt of 2003, when he was caught trying to sneak "tobacco-friendly language" into a Homeland Security bill while he was having sex with a lobbyist from tobacco giant Phillip Morris.

Sexy hijacker strikes again

MELBOURNE'S train temptress has struck again.

However police and rail officials have met to plan an end to her saucy crime spree.

The woman broke into a cabin on a peak-hour Frankston train on Tuesday night and broadcast X-rated praise of the driver to stunned commuters.

The husky-voiced intruder is believed to be the serial seductress behind a similar break-in and announcement on the Sandringham line last week.

The trespasser evaded capture by authorities on both occasions.

As her break-in broadcasts become more frequent, longer and more detailed, pressure is building for Connex to catch the profane prankster before more commuters are subject to her sexy speeches.

"There was a woman on the address system. It was very graphic about how she was going to have sex with a driver for about three minutes," said Angela, a passenger on the Frankston-bound train.

"I thought she was in cahoots with the driver."

Angela said there were families on board unhappy their children were exposed to the content.

Passengers on the trains during both incidents believed the woman was in the cabin with the driver or was a voice on a 1900 sex call.

The broadcasts are now thought to be the work of a lone female hijacking the PA system in vacant train cabins.

Police are scanning CCTV footage from stations to identify her.

Ticket inspectors have been briefed to be on the lookout for the woman.

"When the train comes to a stop at a station it is easy for them to slip out of the cab and merge with other passengers," said Connex spokesman Andrew Cassidy said.

Connex yesterday discussed the incidents with Transit Safety Division officers.

Connex has said some people are aware of a weakness that allows them to force their way into vacant cabins and hijack the PA.

They said the flaw would be fixed this year.

Feminal? huh?

Ladies...presenting the Feminal, the portable urinal for women. Because when nature calls and you're stuck in traffic or find yourselves miles from a rest stop during a road trip, well...you'd be out of luck if you didn't have the handy Feminal with you. The unique opening creates a sort of suction-like, leak-proof seal when pressed up against your body and can be used sitting, reclining or standing up (though it sounds like you'd have to master some of these tricky positions). And props to the ad team that decided to add that rose to the product shot. Very feminine indeed.

Tune Belt for Ipod

There is no shortage of wearable iPod cases, including ones incorporated into belts, but the TuneBuckle miraculously manages to look non-geeky enough to actually wear. It's made for the Nano, which is small and thin enough to pass as a normal belt buckle. The key here is that iPod or no iPod, it's a nice belt, made with quality leather and metal, not the glittery spangly plastic or cheap stretch fabric that most wearable cases are stuck onto. Alright, it's still quite geeky, but you'd have to get up fairly close to realize that. Looks like sturdy protection for your iPod too. TuneBuckle is available for pre-order for $49.95, in black or white, but sizes start at 30". Waifs will have to wear their Nano at the hip.

Fake Winning Lottery Tickets

The perfect prank, FAKE WINNING LOTTO TICKETS right HERE.

NERD TATTOOS

Check out some real "classics" right HERE.

AA Comics 1968-1974

Some classic vintage comics from the late 1960s HERE.

Classy Man Classy Outfit...

Sea Monkey Inspired Art Show

DON'T MISS this online art show!

Lunar New Year: French animal lovers howl at Chinese dog slaughter

France's Society for the Protection of Animals (SPA) appealed to Chinese President Hu Jintao to put an end to the cruel slaughter of dogs, which it blasted as an affront.

"The SPA does not set itself up as a judge of a country and its culture, but is asking for animals to be killed in a dignified way," the SPA said.

"Millions of dogs (in China) are hanged, beaten with sticks and butchered while they are still alive," it said in a press release.

The organisation added that it had tried to get French media to accept an advertisement as part of its campaign against dog butchering, but the picture -- of an animal being cut to pieces in a pool of blood -- was so graphic that it had been rejected by every newspaper.

The upcoming Chinese New Year on Sunday ushers in the Year of the Dog.

Up to 10 million dogs are slaughtered every year in China, many killed slowly and cruelly to supposedly enhance the meat's flavour, according to animal rights groups.

350,000 Superballs - Sony Commercial

See the Commercial HERE.

Happy 250th Birthday Mozart

A Guide for Where to Start With Mozart

FOR WAKEUP TIME:
A wonderful sound to have on your CD-alarm clock is the G-minor symphony, No. 40. There are many good choices, from conductor Bruno Walter's versions with the New York Philharmonic and the Columbia Symphony Orchestra to a well-regarded recording by Leonard Bernstein with the Vienna Philharmonic on DG.

FOR ROMANCE:
"Don Giovanni" was the greatest romancer of them all. There is his mandolin aria "Deh, vieni alla finestra" ("Please, come to the window, oh my treasure") or the catalogue aria on the Don's conquests by Leporello, "Madamina, il catalogo e questo" ("My dear lady, this is a list"). Bryn Terfel gives spirited renditions on DG's "Bryn Terfel: Opera Arias" with the Metropolitan Opera Orchestra and James Levine.

FOR INCREASING A CHILD'S IQ:
Guaranteed to put a smile on a child's face is "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" ("A Little Night Music"). The Orpheus Chamber Orchestra, known for its light, crisp versions, released a 1985 recording on DG that is full of sunshine.

FOR PRAYER:
A DVD of the Requiem, his final composition, and the Mass in C Minor has just been released by Philips. The 1991 performance at the beautiful Palau de la Musica Catalana in Barcelona, Spain, features conductor John Eliot Gardiner leading Barbara Bonney, Anne Sofie von Otter, Anthony Rolfe Johnson and Alastair Miles, with the Monteverdi Choir and English Baroque Soloists.

FOR A LONG DRIVE:
"Le Nozze di Figaro" ("The Marriage of Figaro") has many of Mozart's most brilliant tunes. There's no shortage of top contenders, including the 1955 Decca with Erich Kleiber conducting Cesare Sieppi, Hilda Gueden, Alfred Poell, Lisa della Casa and Suzanne Danco; and the 2003 Harmonia Mundi, with Rene Jacobs conducting Lorenzo Regazzo, Patrizia Ciofi, Simon Keenlyside, Veronique Gens and Angelika Kirchschlager. Until it is released commercially, the 1998 Metropolitan Opera version is only available from those who recorded the PBS telecast - it has James Levine conducting Bryn Terfel, Cecilia Bartoli, Dwayne Croft, Renee Fleming and Susanne Mentzer, and features the alternative arias "Un moto di gioia" and "Al desio di chi t'adora" in place of "Venite inginocchiatevi" and "Deh vieni." A quirky modernized version set in Trump Tower was staged by Peter Sellars and was released on a Decca DVD last year. For those desiring a couple of excerpts, try Fleming's "Signatures" on Decca, which features her flowing versions of "Porgi, armor" and "Dove sono" with Sir Georg Solti conducting the London Symphony Orchestra.

FOR CALMING DOWN:
Carlos Kleiber, the famed conductor who died in 2004, led orchestras in just two Mozart works during the latter half of his life, No. 33 in B-flat major and No. 36 in E-minor ("Linz"). His rendition of the 33rd with the Bavarian State Opera Orchestra at Munich's Herkulessaal on Oct. 21, 1996, was recorded by television cameras and was released on a DVD last year by DG. The music has a silken sheen, and his conducting has the grace of ballet.

FOR REVVING YOURSELF UP:
Natalie Dessay, the noted coloratura soprano, set off fireworks as the Queen of the Night in "Die Zauberfloete" ("The Magic Flute"). Versions appear on a Virgin Classics solo recording with Louis Langree leading the Orchestra of the Age of Enlightenment and an Erato complete recording of the opera with William Christie conducting Les Arts Florissants. Diana Damrau is fierce in a BBC/Opus Arte DVD of a 2003 performance conducted by Colin Davis at the Royal Opera House in London

FOR APPEARING CULTURED AT YOUR DINNER PARTY:
Mozart composed more operas than "Die Zauberfloete" and the three famous collaborations with librettist Lorenzo da Ponte: "Le Nozze di Figaro,""Cosi fan tutte" and "Don Giovanni." He wrote 22 stage works, and all will be presented this summer at the Salzburg Festival in Austria. There is the semi-seria "Die Entfuehrung aus dem Serail" ("The Abduction from the Seraglio"); the seria "Idomeneo" and "La Clemenza di Tito" ("The Clemency of Tito"); and the buffa "Mitradate." Some categorize "Entfuehrung" as a singspiel, as is "Zauberfloete."

A little humor...

A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, (100-legged bug), It came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today, we will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings." but again there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and Shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me and learn about The Lord!" YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS! A little voice came out of the box:.. "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes.

Madonna looking like SHIT !!!

Is the Queen of Pop's quest for eternal youth taking its toll?

SHE'S wowed the world for two decades - but even a fashion icon can have an off day.And when Madonna arrived in Paris yesterday looking decidedly less than glamorous, fears were raised that her relentless fitness regime may be taking its toll on her looks.

The 47-year-old's skin was stretched across razor-sharp cheekbones and her chin was puckered as she turned up for a Gaultier fashion show.A fellow guest said: "Madonna usually looks so groomed. It was a bit of a shock to see her looking so ropey."The mother-of-two exercises at least three hours a day, sometimes runs 10-miles, and eats mainly wholegrains and vegetables.

Get your Braille PORNO RIGHT HERE !!!

The Whole Art Urinal Collection

Super Dew - The Recipe

Simple directions: take one thirty-two ounce cup of Mountain Dew and drink off a few ounces...starts the buzz. Add one package of sugar-sweetened Tropical Punch Kool-Aid (the kind that makes 2 quarts) to the now 28-30oz of Dew. Stir well and ingest.

Protect yourself from the Bird Flu...

Poker Night at Kessies was always a little different and this week was no exception...

Michael Jordan's House

Adobe and Apple to Sponsor Fireworks Show

K-FED releases Popozao

K-Fed or as the rest of the planet knows him Mr Britney Spears has released his first RAP single Popozao, the word CRAP would be the best description I could give it but you make up your own mind HERE.

What Would Jesus Do?

When you woke up this morning you felt strange, something was missing your life.
It wasn't the new car, the new job,the boyfriend or the girlfriend. But now you know, it's the Baby Jesus Butt Plug. Slap him on the dashboard.Use him as the ultimate pacifier or make Baby Jesus the centerpiece of your daily prayer.

What would Jesus do? Buy him HERE.

DISNEY BUYS PIXAR - 7.4 Billion !!!!

Space Shuttle at the Moment of a Sonic Boom

Paris Hilton: The deposition

If you didn't think she was a frickin moron before this check out her deposition in a 10 million dollar defamation suit with Zeta Graff. Just when you think "nobody" is that stupid, hey GUESS WHAT....

Deposition Part 1

Deposition Part 2

Did you feel something?

We remember 1987!

This weekend I was watching a video of Lt.Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan Administration.

There was Ollie in front of God and country getting the third degree, but what he said was facinating!

He was being drilled by a senator; "Did you not recently spend close to $60,000 for a home security system?" Ollie replied, "Yes, I did, Sir."

The senator continued, trying to get a laugh out of the audience, "Isn't that just a little excessive?"

"No, sir," continued Ollie. "No? And why not?" the senator asked. "Because the lives of my family and I were threatened, sir."

"Threatened? By whom?" the senator questioned.

"By a terrorist, sir" Ollie answered. "Terrorist? What terrorist could possibly scare you that much?"

"His name is Osama bin Laden, sir" Ollie replied.

At this point the senator tried to repeat the name, but couldn't pronounce it, which most people back then probably couldn't. A couple of people laughed at the attempt. Then the senator continued. Why are you so afraid of this man?" the senator asked.

"Because, sir, he is the most evil person alive that I know of", Ollie answered.

"And what do you recommend we do about him?" asked the senator. "Well, sir, if it was up to me, I would recommend that an assassin team be formed to eliminate him and his men from the face of the earth."

The senator disagreed with this approach.

FYI, that senator was Al Gore.

A year after Ollie testified I had the pleasure of meeting him while he was on a book tour, after standing in line for a rather long time with some of the strangest RIGHT WING NUTS I came face to face with Ollie, he looked up at me and said " WHY ARE YOU HERE?" I answered.

"Pretty funny huh?", to which he replied ya, the sort of people who come to see me, well, THEY AREN'T YOU" and he smiled, apparently he can spot a liberal a mile away, or maybe the tye-dye shirt gave me away...

Our exchange continued, Ollie then repeated his original question, to which I answered , "you and I are politically as far apart as 2 people could probably be", he agreed, "but I have no issue with my tax dollars being spent on a security system for your home Ollie... That was political bullshit", Ollie then stood up (his security detail moved closer), he put his hand out, we shook hands and he thanked me for understanding....the end...

Man lifts 14 bricks with his "horn"

A Chinese pensioner can lift up to 14 bricks with a 'horn' that's grown on his forehead.
Wang Ying, 73, has been practicing Kung Fu, especially the study of Qi, since he was just eight-years-old.

But his studies took a new direction after a 5cm long tumour grew on his forehead. Doctors told him they could not operate on the tumour because of its location, so Wang has incorporated it into his Qi routine.
He lives in a farm in Pei County, Jiangsu Province, and walked for 18 days to Nanjing to show off his stunt.

Cause its all about BUFFALO PENIS?

Leif Garrett reaches for the bottom AGAIN...

Seventies teen idol Leif Garrett was arrested by the Los Angeles County Sheriff in January 2006 and charged with possession of heroin.

Garrett, 44, was held without bail after deputies discovered an outstanding warrant out for him for allegedly violating his probation after copping a guilty plea in March 2005 to cocaine possession.

No word on if this will cut into his work as a reality show star...

Redneck Wedding

RIP: Wilson Pickett

Wilson Pickett, the legendary soul pioneer known best your Mustang Sally and In the Midnight Hour died thursday of a heart attack . He was 64.

Music from The Wicked Pickett can be found HERE.

Smoke Up!!!

Space Mountain Simulation

An amazing simulation of Disney's Space Mountain can be viewed right HERE. It was produced using Roller Coaster Tycoon 3.

Larry wasn't like the rest of the kids in town...

Shatner Sells Kidney Stone for 25k.

An online casino has a piece of Capt. Kirk. Actor William Shatner has sold his kidney stone for $25,000, with the money going to a housing charity, it was announced Tuesday. Shatner reached agreement Monday to sell the stone to GoldenPalace.com.

"This takes organ donors to a new height, to a new low, maybe. How much is a piece of me worth?" he said in a telephone interview.

GoldenPalace.com is noted for its collection of oddities, which includes a partially eaten cheese sandwich thought to contain the image of the Virgin Mary.

"This is a bold new addition to our fleet," GoldenPalace.com Chief Executive Officer Richard Rowe said in a statement.

The money will go to Habitat for Humanity, which builds houses for the needy.
"This would be the first Habitat for Humanity house built out of stone," joked Darren Julien, president of Los Angeles-based Julien's Auctions, which handled the sale.

Shatner, who played Kirk on the original "Star Trek" TV show and won an Emmy for his role on "Boston Legal," passed the stone last fall.

The stone was so big, Shatner said, "you'd want to wear it on your finger."

"If you subjected it to extreme heat, it might turn out to be a diamond," he added.

Shatner said the idea of selling the stone came up after "Boston Legal" raised $20,000 for Habitat for Humanity. With the money for the stone, Shatner said there is about enough funding to build half a house.

GoldenPalace.com originally offered $15,000 for the stone but Shatner turned it down, noting that his "Star Trek" tunics have commanded more than $100,000. His counteroffer was accepted.

Its Burger Time...

Nowadays the most notable and tasty burger is none other than "THE HAMMER", offered in two versions as either THE HAMMER 2.0 or THE HAMMER 3.0. Both come fully loaded in a 10x10x4 box with fries and cheese. A trully Texas size burger that will "Hammer" your hunger with its specially made sourdough bun, the two or three pounds of nicely grilled hamburger meat, layered with melted cheese, and balanced with generous amounts of dressing and veggies according to your individual taste and pleasure. A unique experience that is best when shared with friends and family.

Here is a little animated gif of it being built for you.


THE HAMMER 2.0 (2 lbs, includes cheese, fries) $13.99


THE HAMMER 3.0 (3 lbs, includes cheese, fries) $17.99

BIG DICK Cheney

Think PINK !

Sometimes you just have to think OUTSIDE THE BOX, if you feel like this IS you, all the information for creating your own can be found right HERE.

The Internet is for PORN

Oh, go ahead you know you haven't lived until you see and hear the Broadway show Avenue Q and World of Warcraft meshed together in HELL, its right HERE.

Planned Parenthood's new condom key chains 'blasphemous'

Parenthood has launched a line of condom key chains -- key chains that offend "just about everyone in the country," claims Jim Sedlak, executive director of American Life League's STOPP International. "Some are even blasphemous."The condom key chains, featuring 28 different designs, are offered for sale on Planned Parenthood of Connecticut's web site.

Each chain has a picture or slogan on a plastic holder containing a latex condom."Planned Parenthood offends religious people with its key chain that shows a portion of the famous painting from the Sistine Chapel. Michelangelo gave us a beautiful image of Adam stretching out his hand to God, with God's index finger about to touch Adam's index finger," said Sedlak. "In Planned Parenthood's blasphemous version, God is handing Adam a condom."Planned Parenthood goes on to offend parents with its key chain that shows a caricature of a loudly crying baby," said Sedlak.

"Planned Parenthood's slogan accompanying the caricature states, 'Condoms are cheaper than diapers.'In addition, Sedlak said Planned Parenthood offends all patriotic Americans with a series of three key chains. "The first is a takeoff of the famous 'Uncle Sam Wants You' poster from World War II ­ in Planned Parenthood's version Uncle Sam is replaced with a condom saying 'I Want You.' The second is an American flag picture with the stars in the field of blue replaced with the words, 'Wear with Pride.' The third is a picture of the Statue of Liberty holding a condom instead of a torch.

"Other condom key chains show just how much sex permeates all Planned Parenthood thinking. There's one that says, "Earth and condoms, we can't live without them."

HeatherHaven.com - Whoohoooo.....

HeatherHaven.com, the Website of a woman who calls herself Heather and claims to stand 6 feet 5-1/2 inches tall in her bare feet and over 7 feet tall in heels, can Ringling Brothers and Ripley's be far away?....

When exactly what this EVER RIGHT?

Sad, but it is kinda INTERESTING in a FREAK SHOW/CARNIVAL WORKER kinda way...

A&E Tells Us Whats in Development

"Gene Simmons Family Jewels," featuring Simmons; his partner, Shannon Tweed' Shannon Tweed, a former Playmate of the Year, actress and model; and their kids, Nick and Sophie. Dubuc described the kids as "articulate, funny and bright," which contrasts with their "wild and crazy" parents. This project follows a one-hour special on Simmons that aired under the "Biography" banner.


"Driving Force," a real-life project featuring John Force and his three drag-racing daughters.

"King of Cars," a behind-the-scenes look at the world of car sales featuring 30-year-old Chop, who runs a successful auto empire in Las Vegas and also is a father, rap impresario, radio host and TV infomercial star-producer.

"Elevator Moods," a series of 13 quirky short films about one minute in length that are shot from the point of view of an elevator surveillance camera. The series, originally created for the Web (http://www.elevatormoods.com), won the Webby Award at the Sundance Film Festival.

A&E has acquired existing shorts and will produce new ones for the series, which could air in some combination of on-air and online media.

Projects in development include:

"A Guy Walks Into a Bar," an hour-long pilot that features Wendt and George Gray ("Junkyard Wars") telling jokes in a bar setting. The show then transitions into the jokes being played out in sketches.

"Commander Castle," a half-hour pilot focusing on Paul Castle, a 30-year veteran of the U.K. Police Force who gets called in to help local officers in America handle dangerous situations.

"Polar Posse," an hour-long pilot focusing on the Dragon Slayers, an all-youth, all-volunteer firefighting and EMS team based in a tiny town in the remote north of Alaska.

"Finally a Family," an hour-long pilot that joins the point of the adoption process where the field of parents has been narrowed down to two sets.

"Rock Paper Scissors," an hour-long special focusing on a nationwide Rock Paper Scissors tournament that features a $50,000 grand prize.

Web Site Offering Farrell Sex Tape Closed

An Internet site that purported to be selling access to actor Colin Farrell's explicit sex tape was shut down Tuesday for violating a court order blocking release of the 15-minute video, the actor's publicist said.



The Web site, dirtycolin.com, could not be accessed Tuesday night but at least one other Web site offered what appeared to be censored stills from the tape of Farrell engaging in sex acts with his then-girlfriend, Nicole Narain.



The stills were posted on the Web site idontlikeyouinthatway, which reported that dirtycolin.com had stated: "Colin tried to stop us from showing you this. Well, here it is anyways."



"A Web site attempting to distribute an unauthorized tape of Colin Farrell was shut down today. Mr. Farrell will take legal action against anyone who tries to distribute this tape," said a statement issued by Farrell publicist Danica Smith.



The statement did not say who had shut down the site. Farrell sued Narain last year, accusing her of trying to distribute the tape through an intermediary. A lawyer for Narain -- Playboy's Miss January 2002 -- has said she never tried to profit from the tape.



Farrell argued that the tape was made more than two years ago on the understanding that it never would be made public and releasing it would harm his career. A Superior Court judge in Los Angeles has issued an order temporarily barring the sale, distribution or display of the tape.

"No Honey, it will be FUN"

The New Math?

One Eyed Cat

Cy, short for Cyclopes, a kitten born with only one eye and no nose, is shown in this photo provided by its owner in Redmond, Oregon, on Wednesday, Dec. 28, 2005.

The kitten, a ragdoll breed, which died after living for one day, was one of two in the litter. Its sibling was born normal and healthy

Shop Assistant Found Naked With Mannequin

A Turkish shop assistant was arrested after he was found lying naked with a mannequin in a store window.

The 30-year-old man was discovered by colleagues opening up the department store in Antalya for the day.

They called police after noticing bite marks on the mannequin. Two other mannequins that showed signs of abuse were also taken in as evidence.

The shop assistant allegedly hid in the toilets while the store was being locked up for the night.
The man has been charged with damaging property.

When your bellybutton is too close to your SOCKS...

SITE UPDATE 2006

RSS feeds don't seem to catch the frequent updates to the large Links section at this BLOG, so please drop by the actual site at www.chucksweirdworld.com, you will see new audio and celebrity links this week and the usual collection of weirdness.

thanks

chuck

Hey Junior, No Touching the Artwork...

Buddha's Delight?

After 1000 years of praying and fasting and endless incarnations, Buddha gets to be....a dildo.

To Buddha's unending delight he's generously endowed with enough to pleasure even the most enlightened. High quality silicone. Color: Yellow Enlightenment (a gold dust/yellow swirl)

Price: $49.99

Check it out HERE.

And if this isn't weird enough, the DIVING NUN and JACK HAMMER JESUS are also availible.

1966 Original Batmobile Concept Sketch

2 Headed Rat Snake for Sale on Ebay

ST. LOUIS, Mo. -- Leonard Sonnenschein, president of the World Aquarium in St. Louis, holds We, a two-headed albino rat snake.

Sonnenschein has decided to sell the reptile, and bidding on e-Bay will start at $150,000. The 6-year-old snake came to the aquarium's attention when its previous owner distributed a circular offering it for sale days after its birth.

The aquarium paid $15,000, knowing full well that most two-headed snakes don't live more than a few months.

Celestron WOWS crowd at Annual CES Show

Check it out HERE.

Sign of the Week

You Won't Believe What This Is Made From...

Check out the WHOLE story HERE.

I Bet You Didn't Know That...

1. Polar bears are left-handed.

2. If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

3.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

4. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

5. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

6. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

7. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

8. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

9. Butterflies taste with their feet.

10. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

12. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

13. Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.

14. A cat's urine glows under a black light.

15. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

16. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

17. Starfish have no brains.

18. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

19. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

Titty Twister Prank Lands Teen Community Service

Pranks just aren't treated the same way they used to be.

David Thumler, 15, of Gold Hill, Oregon is sentenced to three days of community service for giving a childhood prank known as a "titty twister" to a 13-year old boy.
"They're not friends," says Bobby Cox the mother of 13-year-old Matthew Cox who claims it was more of an act of bullying than a prank. "If he was my son's friend, it would be a different thing."

Thumler is ordered to pay a $67 fine and the misdemeanor is placed on his permanent record until he turns 18. He can then request for the "crime" to be removed from his record.
"Oregon law defines physical harassment as 'offensive physical touching'," says Ken Chapman, a Jackson County juvenile probation supervisor. "That includes such adolescent antics as "wet-willies," "wedgies," "swirlies," "noogies" and all other forms of "Three Stooges" behavior."

Clitoris Stimulator Simulator for Nintendo DS

You know that joke Nintendo made when the DS was revealed? The one about how touching is good? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink etc… Well, it turns out that one of those games is in the works, courtesy of one Ubisoft designer who’s been knocking together a DS frig-em-up in her spare time.

In a presentation that has surely captured water cooler conversation for ever, Heather Kelley, Game Designer at Ubisoft Montreal Studios, is designing what is quite literally a clitoris stimulator for Nintendo’s twin screen portable as her entry for the Montreal Game Summit 2005 Game Design Challenge.

Heather’s published personal goal is to “teach techniques of female gratification to a target audience of females.” Luckily boys, we’re off the hook again! “I decided my game had to have a specific goal and a specific market and that would drive the gameplay. A goal and a market that were extremely underserved by sex games that already exist. I wanted to design a game that would improve actual sex in the world, and for an underserved population. In other words, I want my game to teach techniques of female sexual gratification to a target audience of females.”

Heather continues, “The DS is already a popular platform with females. The touch screen and audio input features are crucial for tactile, intimate gameplay. The portability means you can take the game anywhere – including OUT of the living room, into the bedroom. Reasonable price point means players probably have their own DS and aren’t sharing with another family member,” which is a good point. You wouldn’t want your mum...oh Jesus, no...

You can download a demo of the vagina-shaped bunny-rubber game here.

The New Euro

Lindsay Lohan - I see Boobie...

Because I was the last person on earth to KNOW ABOUT THIS DEPT....

The In-N-Out Burger Secret Menu

In-N-Out Burger has a secret unpublished menu for insiders who are In-The-Know. Next time you're at In-N-Out (i.e. tomorrow . . . or maybe tonight), order a bag of these off-the-menu specials:

"3-by-3" = three meat patties and three slices of cheese.

"4-by-4" = four meat patties and four slices of cheese.

"2-by-4" = two meat patties and four slices of cheese.

*Note: You can get a burger with as many meat patties or cheese slices as you want. Just tell the In-N-Out Burger cashier how many meat patties and how much cheese you want and that is what you'll get! For instance, if you want 6 pieces of meat and 10 pieces of cheese tell them you want a "6-by-10."

"Double Meat" = like a Double Double without cheese.

"3 by Meat" = three meat patties and no cheese.

"Animal Style" = the meat is cooked and fried with mustard and then pickles are added, extra spread and grilled onions are added.

"Animal Style Fries" = fries with cheese, spread, grilled onions and pickles (if you ask for them).

"Protein Style" = for all you low-carbohydrate dieters, this is a burger with no bun (wrapped in lettuce).

"Flying Dutchman" = two meat patties, two slices of melted cheese and nothing else - not even a bun!

Fries "Well-Done" = extra crispy fries . . . even better than the regular!

Fries "Light" = opposite of fries well-done, more raw than most people like 'em

"Grilled Cheese" = no meat, just melted cheese, tomato, lettuce and spread on a bun.

"Veggie Burger" = burger without the patty or cheese. Sometimes we call this the "Wish Burger."

"Neapolitan" Shake = strawberry, vanilla and chocolate blended together.

The friendly employees of In-N-Out Burger will take your special order without question, if you use the right terminology. The printed receipt will have your special request typed on it just as we said it.

Try it!

Lake Superior State University 2006 List of Banished Words

SURREAL – One part opiate of the masses, 13 parts overuse. Oddly, news anchor and television small talk is becoming more surreal. “Dreams are surreal, not daily adjectives.” – Tracy from Murray, Ky.

HUNKER DOWN – To brace oneself, in anticipation of media onslaught. Trotted out in reports about everything from politics to hurricanes. “I have a hankering to ban all of this hunkering.” – Kate Rabe Forgach, Fort Collins, Colo.

PERSON OF INTEREST – Found within the context of legal commentary, but seldom encountered at cocktail parties. “People with guns want to talk with you.” – Melissa Carroll from Greensboro, NC. “Does this mean the rest of us are too boring to deal with?” – Patricia Johnson from Mechanicsville, Va.

COMMUNITY OF LEARNERS – A five-dollar phrase on a nickel-errand. Value-added into many higher education mission statements. “Not to be confused with ‘school.'” – Jim Howard from Mishawa, Ind.

UP OR DOWN VOTE – A casualty of today's partisanship. No discussion on this one; the committee just tossed a coin. “I see a bright future for ex-senators as elevator operators.” — Allan Dregseth, Fargo, ND.

BREAKING NEWS – Once it stopped presses. Now it's a lower-intestinal condition brought about by eating dinner during newscasts. “Now they have to interrupt my supper to tell me that Katie Holmes is pregnant.” — Michael Raczko, Swanton, Ohio.

DESIGNER BREED – Many nominators consider this a bastardization of dog breeding. It may be a good line to use on angry neighbors when an un-neutered dog escapes. “When you mate a miniature schnauzer to a toy poodle, it's not a ‘Schnoodle,' it's a mongrel.” – George Bullerjahn, Bowling Green, Ohio.

FEMA – Dedicated to the memory of a great federal agency consigned to the ash heap of parody. “If they don't do anything, we don't need their acronym.” – Josh Hamilton, Tucson, Ariz.

FIRST-TIME CALLER – Preamble often heard on talk radio. “I am serious in asking: who in any universe gives a care?” – Miguel McCormick, Orlando, Fla.

PASS THE SAVINGS ON TO YOU! – Marketing catch phrase that became a lost-leader long ago. “Read: Pass the markup along to you.” – C. W. Estes, Roanoke, Tex.

97% FAT FREE – Adventures in delusion. “Still has 3% fat . . . accept it.” – Andrew Clucas, Canberra, Australia.

AN ACCIDENT THAT DIDN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN – Best-laid mayhem. “This means some accidents need to happen, for whatever reason, I can't figure.” — Thomas Price, Orlando, Fla.

JUNK SCIENCE – Banished from the Marketplace of Ideas. “It's not scientists who are using this phrase so much as the people who practice junk politics.” – Ron LaLonde, Inuvik, Northwest Territories, Canada.

GIT-ER-DONE – (Any of its variations) It's overdone. “There's no escaping it. It's everywhere, from TV to T-shirts,” says Amanda Tikkanen of LaGrange, Ind. “Please tell me when we're done with this one.”

DAWG – No designer breed here. Someone should wash out this Spot. “Even parents are starting to use it!” – complains Mrs. Swartz's Fifth Grade Class in Church Road, Va. “This is species confusion.” – Rob Bowers, Santa Clara, Calif. “Don't call me ‘dawg'! I'm not your pet!” – Michael Swartz, Albuquerque, NM.

TALKING POINTS – Cover your ears! “Topics which will please those you want to impress.” – Michele Mooney, Van Nuys, Calif. Joe Wonsetler of Swanton, Ohio, believes the phrase was created after PR staffers stopped attending seminars on how to put a positive ‘spin' on their press releases.

HOLIDAY TREE – Many salvoes were fired during this past season's “war on Christmas.” At the risk of jumping into the breach, the committee feels that “Holiday tree” is a silly name for what most folks hold as a Christmas tree, no matter your preference of religion. Thank goodness we all agree on the first day of winter.

LSSU accepts nominations for the List of Banished Words throughout the year. To submit your nomination for the 2007 list, go to www.lssu.edu/banished.

Here kitty kitty kitty...

Cat Calls 911 to Help Owner

Police aren't sure how else to explain it. But when an officer walked into an apartment Thursday night to answer a 911 call, an orange-and- tan striped cat was lying by a telephone on the living room floor. The cat's owner, Gary Rosheisen, was on the ground near his bed having fallen out of his wheelchair.

Rosheisen said his cat, Tommy, must have hit the right buttons to call 911.

"I know it sounds kind of weird," Officer Patrick Daugherty said, unsuccessfully searching for some other explanation.

Rosheisen said he couldn't get up because of pain from osteoporosis and ministrokes that disrupt his balance. He also wasn't wearing his medical-alert necklace and couldn't reach a cord above his pillow that alerts paramedics that he needs help.

Daugherty said police received a 911 call from Rosheisen's apartment, but there was no one on the phone. Police called back to make sure everything was OK, and when no one answered, they decided to check things out.

That's when Daugherty found Tommy next to the phone.

Rosheisen got the cat three years ago to help lower his blood pressure. He tried to train him to call 911, unsure if the training ever stuck.

The phone in the living room is always on the floor, and there are 12 small buttons _ including a speed dial for 911 right above the button for the speaker phone.

"He's my hero," Rosheisen said.

First Large Cat Photo of 2006

Happy New Year 2007

Chinese Watermelon Art

You will not believe the beauty of these carved pieces, see them HERE.