Penis Stretcher

Penis enlargement devices are not new, what made me curious is that this is supposed to be worn underneath your pants, as if you can go about your day totally unnoticed.

The merchant's eBay listing doesn't really say how it's supposed to be used, though it's probably obvious.

I can't imagine any guy being able to walk, sit, or crouch around the office with his weenie under such trauma, and have this contraption totally unnoticeable to others.

FREAK SHOW HELLO !!!

Jury awards $1.7 million to spanked employee

Alarm company says it was part of a team-building exercise


FRESNO, California -- A jury awarded $1.7 million Friday to a woman who was spanked in front of her colleagues in what her employer called a camaraderie-building exercise.
The jury of six men and six women found that Janet Orlando, 53, was subjected to sexual harassment and sexual battery when she was paddled on the rear end two years ago at Alarm One Inc., a home security company in Fresno. The jury said Orlando did not suffer from sexual assault, as she had alleged.

Jurors awarded Orlando $10,000 for economic loss, $40,000 for future medical costs and $450,000 for emotional distress, pain and suffering. They awarded her an additional $1.2 million in punitive damages.

Orlando's attorney, Nicholas "Butch" Wagner, did not immediately return calls for comment.
K. Poncho Baker, an attorney for Alarm One, said it was excessive.

"I think the jury was so upset at Alarm One that they went overboard," Baker said. "Not to say that what Alarm One did was right, but this allows her to manipulate the system."
Orlando quit in 2004, less than a year after she was hired, saying she was humiliated during the company's camaraderie-building exercises.

Sales teams were encouraged to compete, and the losers were made fun of, forced to eat baby food, required to wear diapers and spanked with a rival company's yard signs, according to court documents.

Lawyers for the company said Orlando and others took part in the exercises willingly. The company has since abandoned the practice.

During the trial, company attorneys revealed that Orlando had sued a previous employer, also claiming that she had been sexually harassed.

A Disgusting Discovery in a Pepsi Bottle

Calling the case "rare," but one that has a serious bearing on public health, a three-judge panel in New Delphi, India has ordered PepsiCo to pay financial damages to a man who found a condom inside a Pepsi bottle.

Oh gross! Find out what one young scientist found in fast food ice. Read this and you may never eat ice from a restaurant again.

The Associated Press and the Press Trust of India report that Sudesh Sharma, a resident of Ujhani village near New Delhi, fell sick after consuming one of two Pepsis he purchased in 2003. After drinking the one Pepsi, he said he found dirt and contaminants in the bottle. The condom was found in the other, unopened bottle of Pepsi which he did not drink.

THIS is why you passionately prefer Coke or Pepsi. Yes, there's a reason.

PepsiCo has denied negligence, insisting the bottle was a fake. Despite that, the judge ordered the company to pay 100,000 rupees ($2,200) to a legal aid fund for consumers and 20,000 rupees ($450) to the complainant. "This case is an eye-opener for others who are engaged in manufacturing soft drinks and are required to maintain the prescribed standards of purity in (the) public interest," the three-judge panel ruled.

Clone-A-Willie

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$39.95

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Ailing Liz Taylor is 'close to death'

Liz Taylor is facing death after her heart began to fail, it has been reported.

The Oscar-winner, 74, is confined to her bedroom and has apparently planned her funeral.

Insiders say the British-born star would like to be buried next to former husband Richard Burton.

"Liz is inching closer to death every day and she knows it. It is not a pretty picture," a friend said.

"She's not leaving a lot of money to her children. She wants the bulk of her fortune to go to AIDS research."

Doctors say patients who suffer from such heart disease could hasten their death by becoming depressed.

New York-based heart specialist Dr Richard Stein, who has not treated the Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? star, said: "Once a person gives up hope the prognosis is very poor."

Look what the bottom of the food chain has created...

The links in this posting contain Racist and profoundly disturbing images and ideas. They are NOT supported by this site in any way, shape or form.

In the words of Sun Tzu "keep your friends close but your enemies closer"

"Knowledge and compassion are the power that destroys hatred"


In the world of completely inappropriate things to spend your time with, here are a few we found quickly in a search of the Internet..


Border Patrol - The Video Game
Border Patrol, a Flash game where players shoot Mexican illegal immigrants, has been around for a few days now. Almost every site that links to it accuses it of racist, which may not be my adjective of choice for a game where you have to shoot what the game calls "breeders" (pregnant Mexican women running along their small children).

Day Labor - The Movie
A guy picks up day labor and takes them on a ride to the immigration office.

Ethnic Cleansing - The Video Game
The most politically incorrect video game ever made. Run through the ghetto blasting away various ethnic groups in an attempt to gain entrance to the subway system, where the a certain middle eastern group has hidden to avoid the carnage. Then,.... you can blow away them as they scream "Oy Vey!", on your way to their command center.

Back in black

Dale Jr. to pay tribute to dad by driving black car

Dale Earnhardt enjoyed success driving a black car; Dale Jr. hopes to do the same

The one thing a NASCAR driver never wanted to see was the black No. 3 Chevrolet closing on his rear bumper. One glance of the car in the rearview mirror was enough to send tremors through any competitor.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. hopes to achieve that same effect this weekend at Talladega Superspeedway, where he'll mark his late father's birthday by driving a replica of the famed car.

Junior's trademark red Chevy will be painted predominantly black, with white lettering and silver and red stripes. The car mimics the design the late Dale Earnhardt made famous. Junior will still use his No. 8 -- his father's No. 3 has not been on the track since his 2001 death.

"The car looks good, it's a cool way to honor my dad," Earnhardt said Tuesday. "It's going to be a lot of fun to be behind the wheel of that car, and see the reaction it gets from other drivers on the track."

The tribute is part of a larger salute at Dale Earnhardt Inc., which is celebrating Earnhardt's Thursday night induction into the Motorsports Hall of Fame, his overall accomplishments at Talladega and his 55th birthday, which would have been Sunday.

All three DEI cars will have the same paint scheme, which Junior views as an appropriate celebration of the seven-time champion. He seemed uncomfortable in February marking the five-year anniversary of his father's death, but birthdays bring happier memories.

"His birthday is something I do enjoy pointing out or celebrating or recognizing because that was always a lot of fun with him," Junior said. "When he was getting a little older we was always thinking about what his real age was. There's some things that come and go without a blink of an eye. But there are other things that come and go that you want to point out and you want to recognize and you do appreciate."

Junior's car will be the most dramatic of the three DEI entries. After all, it's at Talladega and Daytona -- the two biggest and fastest tracks in NASCAR -- where Junior bears the closest resemblance to his father.

Dale Earnhardt was the greatest at restrictor-plate racing, especially at Talladega, where he scored 10 wins and notched the 76th and final victory of his career in October 2000.

Junior inherited the skill required to work the draft. He has five victories at Talladega and two at Daytona.

But none compare to his father's last victory, when he charged from 18th place with five laps to go to cross the finish line first.

"I was running second thinking I was in a position to try to get me a win, and I can see him and his line formed on the outside coming up, getting closer and closer," Junior said. "Every time I look in the mirror, he'd moved up a few more feet toward us and was coming on. So everybody was sort of in a panic mode as if, `Wait a minute now, this thing ain't playing out like we had in mind."'

Junior said drives like that Talladega victory were the ones his father cherished.

"He would do all kinds of stuff like that, make big comebacks or big, great saves or just crazy passes," Junior remembered. "Everybody always said he could do a lot of things with a race car a lot of other people couldn't. He'd take pride in those things personally.

"Never would get out and jump up and down and brag about it. But when it was all said and done and over with, and everybody went home, he would take pride in doing those things. I think that comeback was one he really, really enjoyed."

UV tattoos popular but are they safe?

Dominique McDaniel's right arm looks normal enough: tan and lined with light-blue veins. But when she moves a black light over her forearm, three glowing stars emerge.

McDaniel stumbled into a culture she found fascinating one afternoon when she was sitting in her mother's one-story ranch home outside New Orleans: the world of UV tattoos — body art done in a reactive ink that appears invisible under normal light and emerges under black lighting.

"I saw UV tattoos one day on television, on 'Ripley's Believe it or Not,' and thought, 'Wow, that's really cool,' " said McDaniel, a student at Louisiana State University who got her first tattoo when she was 18. "I started hanging out at a local tattoo studio that made their own UV ink and became friends with the owners."

Within months, McDaniel was sporting a band of three stars on her right forearm done entirely in white UV ink and a tattoo on her wrist that has UV ink accents, allowing the design to morph under black light.

The popularity of UV tattoos — also known as black-light tattoos — has skyrocketed in recent years. Long found on the rave scene, the tattoos have reached teenagers, body art enthusiasts and people looking for a way to sport tattoos in a discreet way.

However, safety concerns about UV tattoos abound. The chemical makeup of the different inks used has been questioned, individuals have reported skin rashes and infections, and some scientists suspect the inks might be carcinogenic. Because of these concerns, some tattoo artists will not work with UV inks.

Others have no qualms about inking black-light work. With no regulation over which ink is safe, and with studios often concocting their own blends, it can be hard to tell exactly what pulses through tattoo guns.

In the past, serious skin problems have resulted from the use of inks containing phosphorous — a substance that can often cause the body to reject the ink. Horror stories about UV tattoos turning brown after a few months or recipients developing serious skin rashes have circulated for years.

Many of those fears are valid, according to Dr. Joshua Fox, a dermatologist in New York who has treated people with skin rashes resulting from UV tattoos and who is researching new techniques for tattoo removal.

"Statistically, there have been more reactions with UV tattoos than with normal tattoos," Fox said. "Sometimes, the inks don't mix as well, and your body reacts against the foreign agents."

Fox added that despite the chemical advances with UV tattoos — mainly the elimination of phosphorous in some inks — there will be no way to tell how safe they are until the federal government starts regulating tattoos.

For McDaniel, safety was a prime concern. She had her work done by Imperial Tattoos, a studio in Chalmette, La., a suburb of New Orleans. While volunteering at the studio, McDaniel witnessed exactly what went into the reactive concoctions pumped under people's skin.

"I got to talk to the artists and found out how they made the ink," she said. "Knowing what was in the ink, I knew it was 100 percent safe, with no phosphorus."

Some tattoo parlors advertise that they use UV ink approved by the Food and Drug Administration. A dangerous caveat often goes unnoted, however. According to the FDA, the most widely used UV inks are approved for use only as tracking liquids to be injected into fish, not as tattoo ink for human body art.

Marisa DiMattia, a lawyer and writer in New York who has traveled the world in search of fine tattoo art, advises people to note the ambiguity that exists around government approval and UV ink.

"Companies claim to have FDA approval, but when you read the fine print, it says nothing for human use," she said. DiMattia said some inks were even suspected of containing carcinogens or allergens that can cause severe itching and rashes. No long-term studies on the side effects of UV inks have been done, she said.

With no definitive answer on the safety of the inks, tattoo artists lean both ways.

Craig Latimer, an artist at Black Dragon Tattoo in Shreveport, La., has been on the fence regarding the safety of UV tattoos for years. Recently, when a customer approached Latimer with a UV ink he wanted to use, Latimer began researching the substance and agreed to give it a shot.

Taz, a tattooist in St. Joseph, Mo., avoids the potential pitfalls of UV ink altogether. He said that even though the quality of UV inks seemed to be improving, he won't do any black-light work.

Richie Streate does extensive UV work at Electric Soul Tattoo, a studio in Lancaster, Calif. He believes UV tattoos are suffering from old stigmas.

"The new inks have been tested extensively," he said. "A big part of the problem is the old-timers don't realize the advances that have been made in the ink. They all think it causes cancer and other problems, and we're not seeing that."

New of the Future : Year 2030

First Daughter Suri Cruise checked herself into rehab this morning.

This is just the most recent in a series of publicized stumbles for the first family's only child.
You'll remember in 2023 her brief engagement to Sean Preston Federline was cut short under mysterious circumstances when Sean Preston, while on a Scientology retreat, vanished in the woods in what Xenuian authorities called a tragic bear attack.

She entered the spotlight again in January 2024 when it was reported she was performing a sex act on Senator Lachey during the Scientological National Convention officially announcing the party's nomination of her father for the presidential race.

She was again scrutinized for being present during the mysterious death of Apple Paltrow Martin in 2026, the official cause of which was listed as autoerotic asphyxiation.

Recently she had come under attack by her own family after she announced a scathing tell-all book "Cruising Through Life", the complete title is purported to be "Cruising Through Life: The Average American Story of a Gay Dad, Bought Mom, and Test Tube Baby".

Suri?s current beau, Corey Haim, spoke to the press, stating, "Please give her the privacy she needs right now to get well in these trying times. She asked that I apologize on her behalf to her friends and fans and wants you all to know she is very Suri? hahaha? see what I did there? I'm so funny! America please don't forget me!"

It comes as little surprise that there has been no comment from the first lady, as no one has heard her speak since 2005.

More updates as this story continues to break.

Horsing Around

Just when you think your having a bad day, click HERE.

Russians put "Olympic" pigs through their paces

MOSCOW - Hundreds of Russians gathered for the first day of the annual "pig Olympics" on Saturday, cheering a field of 12 piglets who competed in three events: pig-racing, pig-swimming and "pigball."

Each pig was carried into the arena, squealing angrily and dressed in its own numbered bib, while Muscovites laid bets on challengers such as Mykola from Ukraine, Nelson -- representing South Africa -- and the home favorite, Kostik Russisch Schwein.

In pigball, contestants chase a sweet-tasting soccer ball around an enclosed arena with their snouts, scoring when the ball goes into a goal.

The pig-admirers included ultra-nationalist politician Vladimir Zhirinovsky, who put 100 roubles ($3.60) on Borka to win the running race, in honor of one of his political rivals.

"I've always loved pigs, all my life. I had four or five when I was a kid," he told Reuters.

Alexei Sharshkov, vice-president of the Sport-Pig Federation, which claims 100 members, said the competitors had a happy future ahead of them, win or lose.

"They go on to produce a new generation of sport pigs. They don't get eaten," he promised. "How could you eat a competitor who is known around the world?"

“I'm the decider.”
President George W. Bush

In response to calls from six military generals for the Pentagon chief, Donald Rumsfeld to resign. Bush defended the secretary of defense, saying that he is doing a 'fine job'

ViagraRing : HUH???

"I don't use a full Viagra tablet each time. I bite one in half & the other piece gets put back in my ViagraRing. No worries!"
L. from Baton Rouge, LA

"My wife got me a ViagraRing. The guys at work thought it was a hoot."
E. from Raleigh, NC

These are just a few of the most common emails we get from satisfied ViagraRing wearers!

Wear your ViagraRing with pride & confidence...

You will not believe this GEM, see it all HERE.

Apple pushes to unmask product leaker

A California court in San Jose on Thursday is scheduled to hear a case brought by Apple Computer that eventually could answer an unsettled legal question: Should online journalists receive the same rights as traditional reporters?

Apple claims they should not. Its lawyers say in court documents that Web scribes are not "legitimate members of the press" when they reveal details about forthcoming products that the company would prefer to keep confidential.
Advertisement

That argument has drawn stiff opposition from bloggers and traditional journalists. But it did seem to be sufficient to convince Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge James P. Kleinberg, who ruled in March 2005 that Apple's attempt to subpoena the electronic records of an Apple news site could proceed.

"Unlike the whistleblower who discloses a health, safety or welfare hazard affecting all, or the government employee who reveals mismanagement or worse by our public officials, (the Macintosh news sites) are doing nothing more than feeding the public's insatiable desire for information," Kleinberg wrote at the time.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation, which is representing the Apple news site PowerPage.org, is hoping the appeals court will pull the plug on a subpoena that could yield details about who leaked information about a FireWire audio interface for GarageBand that has been codenamed "Asteroid." The subpoena is on hold during the appeal.

"The California Court of Appeals has a long history of protecting freedom of the press," Kurt Opsahl, an EFF staff attorney who is arguing the case, said on Wednesday. "We're hopeful they'll continue to do so."

In the lawsuit, filed in late 2004, Apple is not suing the Mac news sites directly, but instead has focused on still-unnamed "John Doe" defendants. The subpoena has been sent to Nfox.com, PowerPage's e-mail provider, which says it will comply if legally permitted.

Even though the AppleInsider site also published information about the Asteroid device, it operated its own e-mail service and would have been able to raise a stronger First Amendment claim if it had been sent a subpoena. (In a separate case, Apple directly sued another enthusiast site, Think Secret, alleging that it infringed on Apple's trade secret in soliciting inside information.)

The types of articles about Apple that Jason O'Grady, PowerPage.org's creator, posts every few days don't seem that different from those that many news organizations produce. They include reports on Apple's patent disputes, benchmarks of software performance, reviews of software and news about upcoming products that have not officially been announced.

Being the first to publish news about forthcoming products--as long as the information is accurate--is generally regarded by journalists as a coup. Apple seems confused about THE FIRST AMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION, but then again years ago they entered into an agreement (because they were sued) with THE BEATLES APPLE CORP saying they were not selling music or music based products....hummm....

I guess they want everything there own way, good luck STEVE, your gonna need it...

The price of full service high octane gas reaches $4.049 dollars per gallon Thursday, April 20, 2006, at a gas station in Beverly Hills, Calif.

Oil prices held steady near record highs Thursday after weekly data showed a drop in U.S. gasoline stocks, raising worries that refiners don't have an adequate inventory cushion ahead of the peak summer driving season.

On the brighter side , hippies who held onto their 1960's VW Bugs and Buses are seeing the values SKYROCKET as SUV owners run toward the classics that get 50-60 mpg...

Computer Pioneers: Where Are They Now?

In 1985 - Jay Fenton formed a corporation with Marc Canter and Mark Pierce called MacroMind in Chicago. They developed software tools for Apple's Macintosh line of computers.

Their revolutionary early products include MusicWorks and VideoWorks. Jay did most of the coding on these legendary applications.

VideoWorks was the beginning of the multimedia revolution as we know it today and is now sold under the MacroMedia banner for Adobe. Today, what started in Chicago is the defacto industry standard decades later...

Jay went on to change his name to Jamie and now works as a transexual prostitute in San Francisco's tenderloin. His/Her true calling so it appears...WTF !!!

According to Craigslist:

Basic Facts: Jamie, MtF, 6 feet and 6 inches, functional and versatile. $180/hr in-call only.

" Prepare yourself for a wild ride on the wild side!"

For more on Jay/Jamie check out her/his blog HERE.


Steve Jobs, well he owns the Disney Corporation...



Look for future "Where are they Now?" articles as we hunt down the past...

Crop Circles?

Fake Breast Exam Scam

Florida man, 76, fingered in door-to-door free screening scheme

Meet Philip Winikoff. The 76-year-old Florida man was arrested this morning and charged with sexual battery after he posed as a doctor and went door-to-door--black doctor's bag in hand--offering women free breast exams.

According to a Broward County Sheriff's Office report(seen below), two women--ages 33 and 36--fell for the scam, which Winikoff allegedly ran in Lauderdale Lakes.

Charged with several felonies, Winikoff was booked into the sheriff's lockup, where the mug shot above was snapped.

Police are now investigating whether other women may have been tricked into impromptu examinations.

Merkel bum snaps anger German press

Unflattering pictures of German Chancellor Angela Merkel in a British newspaper have sparked a backlash from the German government and media.

The Sun printed photos of Mrs Merkel on holiday taken from behind while changing into her bathing suit.

A government spokesman accused the tabloid of voyeurism and said the chancellor had a right to privacy.

One paper said Germany would take its revenge at the World Cup, promising the English team a "good thrashing".

The Sun printed the photos under one of its trademark puns: "I'm Big in the Bumdestag".

Iraq : Good Guy/Bad Guy

The whole "gee, I'm sure those Iraqi's are civilized" sorta do the right thing kinda people can be cleared up right HERE.

Tom Cruise vows to eat placenta after birth

TOM Cruise yesterday revealed his latest bizarre mission..to eat his new baby's placenta.

Cruise vowed he would tuck in straight after girlfriend Katie Holmes gives birth, saying he thought it would be "very nutritious".

The Mission Impossible star, 43, said: "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there." It is the latest in a series of increasingly strange outbursts from Cruise in the run-up to the birth.

He has claimed the baby, due any day, will be delivered in total silence.

The Top Gun star also insisted he "sensed" Katie was pregnant before she told him.

And he has blurted out details of the couple's sex life, saying: "It's spectacular."

The actor, who recently also claimed he has the power to cure drug addicts, has even been carrying out his own medical scans on the foetus after buying himself an ultrasound machine.

Silent birth is one of the rules of the cult of Scientology, which Cruise is devoted to.

The cult - founded by the late sci-fi writer L Ron Hubbard - claims that 75 million years ago aliens came to earth and their spirits now infest our bodies.

Cruise told GQ magazine Hubbard had discovered making a noise had a "negative spiritual effect" on someone giving birth. He insisted that 27-year-old Katie would be allowed to scream, adding cryptically: "It is really about respecting the woman. It's not about her screaming.

"And scientifically it is proven. Now there are medical research papers that say when a woman's giving birth everyone should be quiet."

Cruise also revealed he and Katie have been preparing for the birth by holding classes at their Beverly Hills home.

He said: "We've been studying what a woman goes through. What happens to her body. It's just kind of becoming this fun game of learning."

Cruise said his sex life with Batman Begins star Katie had made him realise one-night stands were "horrible".

He added: "Great sex is a by-product for me of a great relationship, where you have communication. It's an extension of that. If you're not in good communication with your partner, it sucks."

Cruise, who has two adopted children with ex-wife Nicole Kidman, will not be the first star to make a meal out of his baby's placenta.

Rod Stewart and girlfriend Penny Lancaster took home their baby's placenta, sprinkled it with tee tree oil and buried it in the garden.

In 1998, Channel 4 chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall fried a placenta with shallots and garlic and served it up to 20 guests, including the baby's mum and dad.

TV watchdogs later criticised the show, branding it "disagreeable".

But placenta-eating is considered normal in some cultures. Various recipes include one for placenta lasagne. Some say eating it helps avoid post-natal depression.

RIP: Charlie Hodge 12/14/34 - 03/03/06

"The guy who sing harmony with me, gives me my water and my scarves.. his name is, Charlie Hodge..." Elvis Presley in Concert

Tiny Kiss: The Other Side of the Story

In 1991, at a Little People of America meeting, a young little person by the name of Tim Loomis and veteran midget Joey Fatale had a fiery encounter that would set the tone of their relationship for the next 15 years. Tim, a newcomer to the little people scene, was approached at this meeting by Joey Fatale. Joey told Tim that if he ever wanted to make it big as a little person, Li'l Tim would have to work with him and give him a cut of his money because, as Joey put it, “I'm the big guy in this Munchkinland.” In no small terms, Li'l Tim told Fatale to “Fuck Off”

In the years to come, Little Tim went on to perform on such shows as Richard Bay and Saturday Night Live. His proudest moment came as a star in Woody Allen's 1992 Epic “Shadows and Fog”. Joey Fatale moved on to perform as a sideshow act for Conan O'Brien, playing various roles. His largest role to date has been as Little Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, starring Jay Leno.

Their paths would one day cross again. While sipping scotch at the Lava Lounge in New York City, dressed as Oompa Loompas for Halloween, the manager of the lounge, Andy Hersch, came up to Loomis and Fatale and stated “you guys do this every year – why don't you come up with something different?” Loomis and Fatale put their miniature brains together, and thought short and hard. They would brainstorm for hours upon hours. While looking through some old CD's, they came across the Kiss “Destroyer” album, and that's when it hit them – Mini Kiss was born that day.

Mini Kiss would do shows every couple of months. The Yellow-Brick Road to stardom was a rocky one, with Tim and Joey butting heads all the way to the top. Li'l Tim was earning instant celebrity status while Joey was busy fighting with his inner demons. Tim was banging all the groupies while Joey was watching from the background. Joey, using his strong-arm tactics, got the other band members of Mini Kiss together against Loomis, and in a fit of jealousy, kicked him out. Li'l Tim was heartbroken, the band having been the cornerstone of his life's work. Tim vowed to one day get back at his arch nemesis.

Li'l Tim became a headliner for Beacher's Madhouse at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas . Jeff Beacher, the mastermind behind Beacher's Madhouse, had been talking to Joey Fatale, and hired Mini Kiss to perform at the Madhouse, telling Joey that the only way he would put Mini Kiss onstage is if Li'l Tim Loomis was behind the drums once again. Joey agreed to put his jealousy aside and work with Tim Loomis once more.

Things really started heating up for Mini Kiss when they performed at the Madhouse, their first real gig in Las Vegas . They became so hot that they began receiving offers from all over the world. Li'l Tim never had forgiven Fatale for throwing him out of Mini Kiss. While working at Beacher's Madhouse, Tim had become a prophet in the world of little people. All the dwarves looked up to him. Tim devised a plan to kick Joey and the rest of the band to the curb in retaliation for what they had done to him.

Tim eventually found strength to finally get back at Joey when he met Shorty Rossi, Wee Matt McCarthy, and their much larger friend, Big Beth Mara. Together with Tim at the helm, they formed their own Kiss Satire Band, Tiny Kiss. After only two weeks of practice the band was ready for their first gig. On February 25 th , 2006 at Beacher's Madhouse in Las Vegas at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, Tiny Kiss performed for the first time. Little Tim took out his drumsticks as a tear escaped his eye and tapped his sticks together three times. Tiny Kiss began to play, and the crowd roared with approval. In Li'l Tim's mind, he was finally even with the evil Fatale.

Li'l Tim knew this was the beginning of something great, and the music world hasn't been the same since Tiny Kiss came on the scene. Tiny Kiss became so popular that the Prince of Saudi Arabia flew them to his homeland and even let them stay in their own wing of his palace to play in front of the Prince and a dozen of his friends.

Tiny Kiss has been playing to sold out shows ever since. They have even signed a 2-year, $1.5 Million deal to play at Beacher's Rockhouse in Las Vegas every night at 9PM beginning July 1 st , 2006.

Tiny Kiss consists of:
- Li'l Tim Loomis on drums.
- Wee Matt on bass guitar.
- Shorty on lead guitar.
- Big Beth on lead vocals.

Zen Sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walka mile in their shoes, That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. (and the fish are safe)

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

18. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.

19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

20. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

21. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

23. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

24. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

25. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good .... spit it out.

Happy Easter 2006

God made me cancel my own crucifixion

BRITISH broadcaster who travelled to the Philippines to be crucified on Good Friday for a television programme pulled out of the stunt in tears yesterday — and blamed God for his decision.

Dominik Diamond broke down and wept after watching nine Filipinos take their turn to be whipped and nailed on crosses and realising that his turn was next. “God wanted me only to pray at the foot of my cross,” he sobbed, sinking to his knees and praying as local people and tourists started to boo.

Five, the television channel, denied it was disappointed that Diamond, a radio and TV presenter and outspoken Daily Star columnist, had decided against being crucified. No date has been set for the broadcast of the programme. If shown, it may have to change its original working title, Crucify Me.

Diamond was set to join an elite group of radical Roman Catholics who mark each Easter by re-enacting the Crucifixion. Thousands of people gather to watch the volunteers nailed to crosses with metal spikes the size of pencils.

Negotiations had taken place to bestow on Diamond the privilege of becoming only the second Westerner to take part in the event, known as Karabrio. The ceremony is held in the village of Cutud, 50 miles (80km) north of Manila. Men dress in white robes and flagellate themselves with glass-tipped paddles and bamboo whips, in penitence for their sins.

Diamond, who said that he had had a crisis in his faith, decided to go on a pilgrimage taking in the Vatican and a Jesuit retreat in Italy, and culminating in the crucifixion to restore his faith in God. Despite his failure to go through with the exploit, producers insist that the documentary would still be aired.

After pulling out of the challenge, Diamond said: “At no point was it ever conveyed that I would definitely be crucified. At all times in this journey I have been guided by my God in ways I could never have predicted. Having experienced the humility of bearing my own cross through the streets, I felt my God wanted me only to pray at the foot of my cross.”

Sebastian Horsley, an oil painter, was the first Westerner to take part in the Karabrio. He felt that it would be valuable for him to experience that level of pain, for artistic rather than religious reasons.

Horsley was pleased with Diamond’s refusal to go through with the ordeal. “I’m glad he bottled it. I mean, going over there with a Channel Five crew is not right. It got leaked to the press when I did it but I wouldn’t allow any film crews to come with me.

“This is very special to these people. It is something they do to get closer to God, not something that should be cheapened,” he said “I tell you, it really hurts having nails driven through your hands. Your arms are strapped up and they put alcohol on them and then bang in the nail.”

Five denied that the television channel was disappointed with Diamond’s decision: “It’s not a surprise. He always said from Day 1 he would make a decision when he got there and it was absolutely up to him.”

Ruben Enaje, a Filipino carpenter who takes part in the festival every year, became Diamond’s mentor as the presenter tried to summon the willpower to be crucified. Mr Enaje has had himself nailed to a cross every year since 1988 to show his gratitude to God for saving him when he fell out of a window. Guided by him, Diamond made his own cross and carried it for two miles through the streets of Cutud.

Ed Stobbart, the executive producer, said: “I've been talking to Dominik for about a year about the idea. He used to be practically the face of Celtic (football club) up in Glasgow and he would get into all kinds of problems there with people who had an issue with him being Roman Catholic. He thought, ‘Hold on, I’m not even that into the religion’. He ended up leaving Scotland with his family.

“His insomnia was a major problem. He used to lie in bed all night praying for God to let him sleep and He never answered so he began to think there was no God.”

Mr Stobbart conceded that the programme’s name, Crucify Me, may no longer be appropriate. “Let’s just say the title is subject to discussion. Read between the lines,” he said.

Rival bands clash over little-person KISS tribute

Tiny Kiss tussle over who owns the concept.

They might be pint-sized performers onstage, but offstage they're in a giant-sized dispute.

Joey Fatale, the 4-foot, 4-inch New Yorker who heads the all-dwarf KISS tribute band MiniKiss, is denying published reports that he tried to sneak past security last month at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas to confront a rival band leader, 4-foot "Little" Tim Loomis of Tiny Kiss, for allegedly ripping off his idea for such a group.

Loomis, a former drummer for MiniKiss, was performing with Tiny Kiss, which includes three little people and a 350-pound woman, on St. Patrick's Day at Beacher's Madhouse, a Las Vegas variety show, when the incident occurred.

Show host Jeff Beacher told The Times on Monday that Fatale "tried to sneak in saying he was Tiny Kiss" and had to be escorted from the premises. According to the New York Post, Fatale's lawyers sent a legal cease-and-desist letter to the show trying to shut down the act.

Loomis told the Post: "[Fatale] came out here [to Las Vegas] and tried to cause trouble, so I had him 86'd from the Hard Rock. The impression I got was that he was looking for a fight. He'd been threatening me over the phone."

But Fatale disputed the accusation, telling The Times: "This whole thing about me going to the Hard Rock with my gang — that didn't happen. What happened was, I went there because somebody told me [Tiny Kiss was] doing the show that night…. Nobody escorted me out of there. I went there by myself to approach them as a gentleman."

Fatale says he has "nothing to say" about Loomis, except, "He's a nice guy." And, he added, "This is all a big publicity act for the guy at Beacher's."

Top 10 Air Guitar Songs:

1. Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven"
2. Van Halen, "Eruption"
3. Guns N' Roses, "Paradise City"
4. The Eagles, "Hotel California"
5. Metallica, "Enter Sandman"
6. Cream, "Crossroads"
7. Jimi Hendrix, "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)"
8. Ozzy Osbourne, "Crazy Train"
9. Free, "All Right Now"
10. Queen, "Bohemian Rhapsody"

ADULT NURSERY RHYMES

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered,
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
Pies, you dumb ass"

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses,
And all the king's men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad.....
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo,
and a sports car!

'Skeleton woman' dead in front of TV for years

A woman's skeleton was discovered in her flat three years after she is believed to have died, it emerged today.

Joyce Vincent was surrounded by Christmas presents and the television and heating in her bedsit were still on.

The 40-year-old's body was so decomposed that the only way to identify her was to compare dental records with a holiday photograph.

Police believe she probably died of natural causes in early 2003, and was only found in January this year when housing association officials broke into the bedsit in Wood Green, North East London.

They were hoping to recover the thousands of pounds of rent arrears that had piled up since her death.

Details of the case emerged during an inquest at Hornsey Coroner's Court, which was attended by relatives including Ms Vincent's sisters.

A spokesman for the coroner said today that Ms Vincent had apparently been a placed in the women's refuge accommodation as a victim of domestic violence.

When representatives from the Metropolitan Housing Trust arrived at the flat on Jan 25 they drilled the door open and discovered stacks of unopened post.

Some mail was marked February 2003, and medication and food had February 2003 expiry dates, the spokesman said.

Ms Vincent was found lying on her back on the floor of the living room, which also doubled as a bedroom.

Dr Simon Poole, a pathologist, told the inquest he had been unable to establish the cause of death because the remains were "largely skeletal", but police do not regard the circumstances as suspicious.

The coroner recorded an open verdict.

Well ok THEN...OUCH....!!!

Prosecutor: While cameras rolled, N.C. trio castrated willing men

Richard Sciara, 61, a retiree known as "Master Rick" in S&M circles, is accused of performing castrations on a half-dozen men in his home.

In Waynesville, a small county seat in the mountains of western North Carolina, people whispered about the three older men who lived together south of town.

They were lovers, and there were rumors that the trio had turned a room in their house into a dungeon where they filmed sadomasochistic sex scenes — and then posted them on the Internet.

Someone asked the local sheriff to investigate the men, but his officers determined their activities, although unorthodox, were perfectly legal.

Last month, however, the men were arrested on charges that shocked the community.

Authorities say they performed castrations and other types of genital surgeries on at least six people. Detectives searching the home found bloody scalpels, syringes, and prosthetic testicles in a room the men referred to as "the dungeon."

Officers confiscated a video camera apparently used to record the procedures, as well as scores of CDs and computer files. They also seized a Tupperware container from the kitchen freezer holding what appeared to be human testicles.

The suspects acknowledged performing surgeries, but they told investigators that the procedures were completely consensual and that the men who requested the operations traveled long distances for the procedures.

The defendants — Richard Sciara, 61; Michael Mendez, 60; and Danny Reeves, 49 — are due in court this week for a probable cause hearing. Each is charged with five counts of felony castration and five counts of conspiracy, as well as eight counts of practicing medicine without a license. They remain in jail in lieu of $150,000 bail.

The arrests on March 30 of Sciara, a retiree, and Mendez and Reeves, both workers at the local Indian casino, astounded many in Waynesville, a town of about 10,000.

"It's pretty much disbelief. Surprise and disbelief and disgust," said District Attorney Michael Bonfoey.

The castration law, a rarely used statute that dates back to the common law of colonial times, does not allow consent as a defense, the prosecutor said.

Still, the question of why a man would agree to castration by medical amateurs remains the most perplexing issue in the case.

Although Sciara had worked for two decades at a Kansas veteran's hospital, he was never licensed and the other men had no known medical training.

Bonfoey, the prosecutor, said his office had yet to interview any of the men who underwent the procedures.

"I haven't talked to any of the victims, so I can't tell you why they would want this," he said.

The six victims identified so far are not from western North Carolina, and at least one is from outside the country, lawyers said.

The Asheville Citizen-Times reported that Sciara identified himself as "Master Rick" on an S&M Web site, Collarme.com. In an online profile published by the newspaper, Sciara posted a photo of himself in leather chaps and wrote that he had two slaves — Danny and Bob — and was searching for more.

"This is NOT a game with me, I live this lifestyle," he wrote. The profile has been removed from the site.

Reeves is pictured in leather shorts on the site in a profile for "dungeonslavedan."


"Am fully versed in all aspects of the BDSM lifestyle as well as being into wrestling and boxing," his profile reads.

Bill Leslie, a lawyer for Reeves, insisted that his client had "absolutely nothing to do with" the surgeries, but asserted that the castrations were not related to sadomasochism.

"Our position is it's certainly not a sexual gratification thing," he said. Asked if they were performed on men seeking sex changes, he said, "Our position is that's not the reason either."

He declined to elaborate.

Investigators are still reviewing evidence and may file additional charges if they find other victims, Bonfoey said.

"We don't know if there are any more at this point," he said.

Bill Jones, the lawyer for Mendez, said it was incorrect to refer to the castrated men as victims.

"I would hesitate to use that word. Even what the police are saying is that this was consensual," he said.

South Park to Cartoon Mohammed

While the world cowers before the wrath of Islam, there's one place that shows no sign of fear: South Park.

Not only did Trey Parker and Matt Stone change Chef's name from Jarome Chef Mackaroy to Abdul Mohammed Jabar Rauf Kareem Ali (in Episode 408, "Chef Goes Nanners") when he converts to Islam, but South Park has also shown an image of the prophet Mohammed on the show. That's because, according to their website, he's a long-term member of the Super Best Friends: "Buddah, with the powers of invisibility. Mohammed, the Muslim prophet with the powers of flame. Krishna, the Hindu Deity. Joseph Smith, the Mormon Prophet, Lao Tsu the founder of Taoism and Sea Man, with the ability to breathe underwater and link mentally with fish."

This Wednesday April 12th, in the wake of South Park's conflicts with Scientology, these equal-opportunity lampooners of serious religion are upping the ante, writes The Officer's Club:

South Park has come under fire for lampooning religions in the past, the most recent example being their trashing of scientology (an episode which cost them one of the show's main characters, Chef, voiced by scientologist Isaac Hayes). Comedy Central later banned reruns of the offending episode.

Chunky South Park-ite Eric Cartman responded to the network's censorship in this evening's episode, explaining to his friend Kyle how pulling an episode can signal the end of a show:

It's simple television economics Kyle, all it takes to kill a show forever is to get one episode pulled. If we convince the network to pull this episode for the sake of Muslims, the Catholics can demand that a show that they don't like get pulled, then people with disabilities can demand that a show that they don't like get pulled, and so on and so on, until Family Guy is no more. The same thing happened to Laverne and Shirley.

Sometimes it takes an unlikely hero like South Park to step up and put things into perspective. If there is such a thing as "The Cartoon Wars," then animated sitcoms like South Park are on the front lines.

From what I could gather from the cliffhanger ending, South Park creators Matt Parker and Trey Stone have forced Comedy Central to stand at the same crossroads that hundreds of newspapers and periodicals across America stood at not a month ago. Next week they will guest star Mohammed in all of his animated glory, and they have let Muslims know in advance that it's a-coming.

Comedy Central has a choice. They can either stand by their longtime stars in Parker and Stone, or succumb to cheap threats from petty thugs. Should Comedy Central make a decision endorsed by the First Amendment, I will be glued to my tv next Wednesday at 10pm.

The Day the Clown Cried

Production still from the long-lost Jerry Lewis movie about a clown in Auschwitz, The Day the Clown Cried.

U.S.Navy releases Al Qaeda Terrorist

The US Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Qaeda terrorist after questioning him extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a US aircraft carrier in the Arabian Sea.

In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 US and a white 1962 Ford Fairlane automobile upon being released from custody.

The photo above shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy.

Quotes from HOUSE M.D on FOX

From..."Mob Rules"

MobsterLawyer: My brother's not gay!
House: No, but he's certainly delightful.

From..."Three Stories"
"I'm sure this goes against everything you've been taught, but right and wrong do exist. Just because you don't know what the right answer is - maybe there's even no way you could know what the right answer is - doesn't make your answer right or even okay. It's much simpler than that. It's just plain wrong."

From..."Pilot"
House: "Ah, yes, but as the philosopher Jagger once said, 'You can't always get what you want.'"

Cuddy (later in the episode): "I looked up that philosopher, Jagger, you mentioned, and you're right, you can't always get what you want. But as it turns out, if you try sometimes, you get what you need."

From..."Paternity"
Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?


AND A zillion more HERE.

The FOX website for HOUSE MD is HERE.

Zappa Plays Zappa US Tour Dates

The North American installment of the Zappa Plays Zappa tour will kick off June 11 in Philadelphia and play eight additional shows through a June 24 date in San Francisco. As previously reported, the shows will celebrate the music of the late Frank Zappa as played by his son, Dweezil, and former band members such as Steve Vai, Terry Bozzio and Napoleon Murphy Brock.

"His music from the middle '70s was really pivotal, and that's going to play a really big role in what we're doing -- things from 'Apostrophe,' 'Over-Nite Sensation,' 'Sheik Yerbouti,' 'Joe's Garage,'" Dweezil told Billboard.com last fall. "But we want people to feel like they're getting a real well rounded experience. He had over 70 albums, so that's hundreds and hundreds of songs. It's only a two-hour show -- we'll be lucky to get 30 songs in there. But it's going to change on a nightly basis."

Here are the Zappa Plays Zappa tour dates:

June 11: Philadelphia (Tower Theatre)
June 12: New York (Beacon Theatre)
June 13: Boston (Orpheum Theatre)
June 15: Detroit (Meadowbrook Music Festival)
June 16: Toronto (Hummingbird Centre)
June 21: Phoenix (Dodge Theatre)
June 22: Anaheim, Calif. (House of Blues)
June 23: Los Angeles (Wiltern Theatre)
June 24: San Francisco (Warfield)

Bigs bunny: monster rabbit devours veggies

In a tale reminiscent of the last Wallace and Gromit movie, furious villagers in northeast England have hired armed guards to protect their beloved communal vegetable gardens from a suspected monster rabbit.

Leeks, Japanese onions, parsnips and spring carrots have all been ripped up and devoured by the mystery were-rabbit -- prompting the 12 allotment holders in Felton, north of Newcastle, to hire two marksmen with air rifles and orders to shoot to kill.

"It is a massive thing. It is a monster. The first time I saw it, I said: 'What the hell is that?'" the Northumberland Gazette newspaper quoted local resident Jeff Smith, 63, as saying on its website (www.northumberlandtoday.co.uk).

He claims to have seen the black and brown rabbit -- with one ear bigger than the other -- about two months ago, and at least three fellow allotment holders say they have seen it as well.

"I have seen it and it is bigger than a normal rabbit. It's eating all our crops and we grow the best stuff here," said retired miner George Brown, 76, quoted by the domestic Press Association news agency.

Smith could not be reached for comment Friday, but his mother told AFP that the hare-raising story is true -- and no less an authority than the British Rabbit Council said it was credible.

"Certain breeds do grow very big, like the Continental Giant" which can be 66 centimetres (26 inches) in length or more, a spokesman for the Nottinghamshire-based council, which represent rabbit breeders, told AFP.

In the last hit movie featuring Wallace and his dog Gromit, the two cartoon characters battled a monster rabbit that was cutting a swathe of destruction through locals' prize vegetable plots.

Lose 33 lbs. Eating McDonald's

"Super Size Me," the Oscar-nominated documentary by Morgan Spurlock that showed the inherent health dangers of eating too much fast food, angered Henderson, N.C. resident Merab Morgan so much she decided to prove it wrong. Like Spurlock, she decided to eat nothing but McDonald's food for 90 days. Unlike Spurlock, she limited herself to 1,400 calories a day.

The results? By day 67 she had lost 33 pounds, reports the Raleigh News & Observer. Morgan is 5 feet, 9 inches tall and now weighs about 195 pounds. She hopes to lose between 40 and 60 pounds. Her dress size dropped from a 22 or 24 to a 15. She says she feels great, despite other people worrying about the effects of Sausage Burritos and Filet-O-Fish sandwiches on her cholesterol.

Morgan calls it the "poor man's diet," since it costs just $9 to $11 a day for three meals. It's also a big time-saver since she can purchase and eat each meal in about five minutes. Some days she buys all three meals at once and then eats when she gets hungry.

The Bride Wore VERY LITTLE INDEED !!!!

Forget the Mao suits of a generation ago. Actually, forget about any clothes at all. Naked wedding photos are the hot new trend among young couples in once deeply conservative China.

Even in Anhui, a largely rural province in the east, many newly-weds are having their pictures taken in the nude, to the fury of their parents' generation, the Xin'an Evening News said.

"Some photo studios are just going too far. They allow young women to have their photos taken in bikinis or with nothing on at all," said an irate woman from the Anhui capital of Hefei. "I hope the authorities will do something."

She had just found out that her daughter had taken two sets of wedding photos, one to show the family, and another considerably more intimate one for her own private consumption.

Previous reports in the state media suggested nude wedding photos were a trend that began in the south of China that was gradually spreading to the rest of the country.

"Not a few young people think that the nude pics are a welcome renewal to the stale unchanging traditions of the wedding photo," the Xin Wenhua Bao newspaper reported in November last year.

This attitude is now prevalent even in northwest China's Xi'an, a proud ancient capital and home to the — fully dressed — terracotta soldiers.

The Xi'an Evening News did a random check of five photo studios, and found that all of them would be willing to take nude photos of soon-to-be-married couples, should they so wish.

"Most of the people who come here to have the bold, naked photos taken are young, trendy and unconventional," said a studio owner. "There are still lots of people who don't like it."

The China Radio International news Web site even carried an article on the trend showing some images of naked newlyweds.

One bride wore nothing but a veil and bouquet of flowers while another couple embraced in a provocative position, although the photos were carefully taken to avoid displaying full-frontal nudity.

Feds Seek to Seize Gold Caps From Drug Dealers' Teeth

Talk about taking a bite out of crime.

Government lawyers are trying to remove the gold-capped teeth known as "grills" or "grillz" from the mouths of two men facing drug charges.

"I've been doing this for over 30 years and I have never heard of anything like this," said Richard J. Troberman, a forfeiture specialist and past president of the Washington Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers. "It sounds like Nazi Germany when they were removing the gold teeth from the bodies, but at least then they waited until they were dead."

According to documents and lawyers involved in the case in U.S. District Court, Flenard T. Neal Jr. and Donald Jamar Lewis, charged with several drug and weapon violations, were taken on Tuesday from the Federal Detention Center to the U.S. marshal's office, where they were told the government had a warrant to seize the grills.

Before being put into a vehicle to be taken to a dentist in Seattle, they called their lawyers, who were able to halt the seizure, said Miriam Schwartz, Neal's public defender. A permanent stay of the seizure order was signed Tuesday by U.S. Magistrate J. Kelley Arnold, court documents show.

Grills, popularized by rappers such as Nelly, are customized tooth caps made of precious metals and jewels which can cost thousands of dollars for a full set. Some can be snapped onto the teeth like an orthodontic retainer, and others are permanently bonded to the teeth.

Neal and Lewis have permanently bonded grills, their lawyers said, declining to provide more description.

Government lawyers who asked a federal judge on March 29 to order confiscation of the grills said they did not know the caps had been bonded to the drug defendants' teeth.

"Asset forfeiture is a fairly routine procedure, and our attorneys were under the impression that these snapped out like a retainer," said Emily Langlie, a spokeswoman for the U.S. attorney's office in Seattle.

Once the government understood that removal of the grills could damage the defendants' teeth, they abandoned the seizure attempt, she said.

Schwartz and Zenon Peter Olbertz, Lewis' lawyer, criticized what they said was a clandestine attempt to have the grills removed.

"It's shocking that this kind of action by the federal government could be sought and accomplished in secret, without anyone being notified," said Schwartz. "It reminds me of the secret detentions" in terrorist cases.

Seizure warrants are typically sealed to prevent defendants from trying to move or hide valuables and evidence, Langlie and court clerks said. They become public with the filing of a return that shows what has been seized.

I KNEW IT!!!!!

2006 Pig Book Summary

The guilty pleas of lobbyist Jack Abramoff and former Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham illustrate how pork-barrel projects, whether used as currency for re-election or as political favors to well-connected individuals or businesses, can corrupt the political process. The historic lack of restraint in the appropriations process has helped create a projected $371 billion budget deficit in fiscal 2006 and a national debt of $8.5 trillion. Whether the lobbying scandal and the outrage of taxpayers over “bridges to nowhere” will force Congress to cut the pork remains to be seen.

The 2006 Congressional Pig Book is the latest installment of Citizens Against Government Waste’s (CAGW) 16-year exposé of pork-barrel spending. This year’s list includes: $13,500,000 for the International Fund for Ireland, which helped finance the World Toilet Summit; $6,435,000 for wood utilization research; $1,000,000 for the Waterfree Urinal Conservation Initiative; and $500,000 for the Sparta Teapot Museum in Sparta, N.C.

This year, there was good news and bad news. For fiscal 2006, appropriators stuffed 9,963 projects into the 11 appropriations bills, a 29 percent decrease over last year’s total of 13,997. Despite the reduction in the number of earmarks, Congress porked out at record dollar levels with $29 billion in pork for 2006, or 6.2 percent more than last year’s total of $27.3 billion. In fact, the total cost of pork has increased by 29 percent since fiscal 2003. Total pork identified by CAGW since 1991 adds up to $241 billion.

Even though Alaska led the nation with $489 per capita ($325 million), it was less than half of Alaska’s 2005 per capita number of $985. The runners up in 2006 were Hawaii with $378 per capita ($482 million) and the District of Columbia with $182 per capita ($100 million). Alaska’s drop can be attributed to Sen. Ted Stevens’ (R-Alaska) descent from the throne as Senate Appropriations Committee Chairman.

In addition to the lobbying scandal, Hurricanes Katrina and Rita have magnified the need for prioritizing federal spending. If the federal government is to pay for the reconstruction of the Gulf Coast, it should do so without going further in debt.

By passing pork-laden appropriations bills and by not vetoing a single spending bill, Congress and the President of the United States have respectively failed the American taxpayer. While the ramifications of these failures may not be completely visible today, they surely will be when future generations will be strangled with increasing debt.

The 375 projects, totaling $3.4 billion, in this year’s Congressional Pig Book Summary symbolize the most egregious and blatant examples of pork. As in previous years, all of the items in the Congressional Pig Book Summary meet at least one of CAGW’s seven criteria, but most satisfy at least two:

* Requested by only one chamber of Congress;
* Not specifically authorized;
* Not competitively awarded;
* Not requested by the President;
* Greatly exceeds the President’s budget request or the previous year’s funding;
* Not the subject of congressional hearings; or
* Serves only a local or special interest.

I. AGRICULTURE

The Agriculture Appropriations Subcommittee was one of the few subcommittees that did not get reorganized. This meant that pork-hungry appropriators knew exactly where to add their pet projects. Usually when seeking information, CAGW gets the cold shoulder from appropriators. This year, the Agricultural Research Service was the spoiler, refusing to release public budget documents. Total agriculture pork in fiscal 2006 was $584 million, or 60 percent more than the fiscal 2005 total of $365 million. The number of projects decreased by 2 percent, from 512 to 502.

$33,907,000 added by the Senate for projects in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee Chairman Thad Cochran (R-Miss.), including: $10,000,000 for the Mississippi Conservation Initiative; $5,766,000 for the Wildlife Habitat Management Institute; $1,433,000 for curriculum development at Mississippi Valley State University; $1,389,000 for the Delta Conservation Demonstration Center in Washington County; $936,000 for advanced spatial technologies; $517,000 for aquaculture research; $300,000 for the National Center for Natural Products; $180,000 for natural products research; and $50,000 for cotton ginning research.

$33,360,000 for projects in the state of Senate appropriator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), including: $25,000,000 for rural and native villages; $1,300,000 for berry research; $1,099,000 for alternative salmon products; $500,000 for fruit and berry crop trials for rural villages; $443,000 for new crop opportunities; $331,000 for food preparation and marketing research; $300,000 for commercialization of native plant materials; $250,000 for ethnobotany research; $166,000 for salmon quality standards; and $75,000 for seafood waste research.

$17,361,000 for projects in the state of Senate Agriculture Appropriations Subcommittee Ranking Member Herb Kohl (D-Wis.) and in the district of House Appropriations Committee Ranking Member David Obey (D-Wis.), including: $8,000,000 for the Nutrient Management Laboratory; $817,000 for urban horticulture; $600,000 for the Babcock Institute; $260,000 for grazing research; $250,000 for cereal crops research; and $30,000 for Great Lakes aquaculture.

$14,085,000 for projects in the state of Senate Agriculture Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Robert Bennett (R-Utah), including: $5,000,000 for the Utah Conservation Initiative; $3,000,000 for the Washington Fields Project; $900,000 for botanical research; $545,000 for advanced computing research and education; and $300,000 for the Oquirrh Institute. According to the Institute’s website, “The Oquirrh Institute was founded in Salt Lake City, Utah, during the 2002 Winter Olympic Games. The Institute's mission is to shine early light on public policy dilemmas and establish innovative solutions. The Oquirrh Institute is currently involved in four areas of concentration: Moving to Competency-Measured Education, Improving Environmental Management, Advancing Health Information and Research and Enhancing Governance Through Technology.” According to USDA testimony, “The principal researchers have not yet determined a completion date on this project.” A total of $500 has been raised from corporations and foundations. Taxpayers have “contributed” $550,000 to Oquirrh since 2004.

$13,274,000 added by the Senate for projects in the state of Senate Agriculture Appropriations Subcommittee member Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), including: $3,000,000 for the Animal Waste Management Research Laboratory; $843,000 for health education leadership; $760,000 for new crop opportunities; $645,000 for advanced genetic technologies research; $516,000 for Western Kentucky University ($396,000 to monitor the water quality and biological diversity of the Green River Watershed and $120,000 for waste management research); and $120,000 for improved forage and livestock production at Sen. McConnell’s alma mater, the University of Kentucky.

$10,995,000 added by the Senate for projects in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee Ranking Member Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.), including: $4,500,000 for the Geographic Information System Center of Excellence at West Virginia University; $2,045,000 for the Appalachian Fruit Laboratory in Kearneysville; $860,000 for the Appalachian Small Farmer Outreach Program; $750,000 for multiflora rose control; $690,000 for agriculture waste utilization research; $180,000 for turfgrass research; $160,000 for poultry litter composting; and $160,000 for feed efficiency research. According to USDA testimony, the feed efficiency project was supposed to be completed in 2005, and the research was being conducted at the West Virginia University Performance Bull Testing Facility in Wardensville. Now, that’s appropriate!

$6,435,000 for wood utilization research in Alaska, Idaho, Maine, Mich., Minn., Miss., N.C., Ore., Tenn., Wash., and W.Va. Since 1985, $86 million has been sapped from the taxpayers for this purpose.

$4,200,000 for shrimp aquaculture research in Ariz., Hawaii, La., Mass., Miss., S.C., and Texas. According to USDA testimony, “The goal of this program is to develop a sustainable domestic shrimp farming industry in the United States.” The timeline for this program appears to be indefinite. Since 1985, $65.7 million has been appropriated for this research.

$2,100,000 for the viticulture consortium in California, New York, and Pennsylvania. According to USDA testimony, “The original goal of this research was to maintain or enhance the competitiveness of the United States viticulture and wine industry in the global market.”

$500,000 for apple fire blight research in Michigan and New York. According to USDA testimony in March 2005, “The anticipated date of completion of the original objectives was 2000, however, the original objectives have not been accomplished. The principal investigators estimate that an additional five years will be needed to accomplish the original objectives. The estimated completion date is 2005.” Since 1997, $4.2 million has been appropriated for this research. This project has already taken two bites of the taxpayers’ apple, and that’s more than enough.

$365,000 added by the Senate for the Center for Rural Studies in the state of Senate appropriator Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.). According to USDA testimony, “The original goal was to create a database and analytical capability for rural development programming in Vermont.” However, USDA also testified that, “No formal evaluation of this project has been conducted.” Oops! Since 1992, $2 million has been appropriated for this research.

$359,000 for organic cropping research in Washington. There is no documentation of any non-federal or private funds. According to a 2004 survey by the Organic Trade Association, “U.S. organic food sales have grown between 17 and 21 percent each year since 1997, to nearly triple in sales, while total U.S. food sales over this time period have grown in the range of only 2 to 4 percent a year. According to the findings, organic food sales now represent approximately 2 percent of U.S. food sales.”

$352,000 for floriculture research in the state of Senate appropriator Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii). The USDA has estimated that out-of-state sales of Hawaiian floriculture reached $97 million in 2003. According to USDA officials, “The principal researchers have not determined a completion date for the work on this project.” Since 1989, $5 million has been appropriated for this research.

$273,000 added by the House for urban market development in New York. According to USDA testimony, Cornell University proposes “to implement ‘Garden Mosaics,’ a community gardens program through which youth, educators, and adult gardeners conduct investigations of food-growing practices drawn from a diversity of cultures, and explore the science principles underlying these practices.” Since 2003, $620,000 has been appropriated for this project.

$244,000 added by the Senate for range improvement research in the state of Senate appropriator Pete Domenici (R-N.M.). According to USDA testimony, “The focus of the project is the livestock grazing industry in New Mexico…The principal researchers anticipate the work to be completed in 2005.” Apparently, this research will be continuing until the cows come home.

$234,000 for the National Wild Turkey Federation. According to the organization’s website, “In 1973, the National Wild Turkey Federation was founded in Fredericksburg, Va. At that time, there were an estimated 1.3 million wild turkeys and 1.5 million turkey hunters. Shortly after its founding, the NWTF moved to Edgefield, S.C., where it is headquartered today. Thanks to the work of federal, state and provincial wildlife agencies and the NWTF's many volunteers and partners, there are now close to 7 million wild turkeys and nearly 3 million turkey hunters.” According to USDA testimony, “The project builds on the Federation’s longstanding public education program that reaches approximately 250,000 citizens annually. The project goal, to be accomplished by targeting nontraditional audiences, is to increase participation by these groups in outdoor activities, including, hunting, and thereby contributing to a more healthy lifestyle for the individuals…”

$211,000 for tropical aquaculture in Florida. According to USDA testimony, “The original goal of the research project was to improve culture and transportation techniques for the commercial tropical aquaculture industry in Florida. Accomplishments include: a previously undomesticated high-value ornamental fish has recently been bred in captivity…” Since 2000, $1.2 million has been appropriated for this research.

$179,000 added by the House for hydroponic tomato production research in the districts of House appropriator Ralph Regula (R-Ohio) and House Agriculture Appropriations Subcommittee member Marcy Kaptur (D-Ohio). According to USDA testimony, “The anticipated completion date for this research was fiscal year 2002; the original objectives were met. The anticipated completion date for the new objectives for this project initiated in 2003 is fiscal 2005. No additional or related objectives have been identified.” Since 1998, $1.2 million has been appropriated for this research.

II. DEFENSE

Efficient and effective operation of the Department of Defense (DOD) is critical to ensuring the security of our nation and the safety of our troops. While American military forces fight for peace and democracy in the Middle East, Pentagon officials at home struggle to create a lean, mean, war-fighting machine; but so far, appropriators are winning too many battles. From fiscal 2005 to fiscal 2006, the number of pork-barrel projects jumped 8 percent from 2,606 to 2,822, while the total cost went up 17 percent, from $12.7 billion to $14.9 billion.

$591,017,000 added in conference for eight additional C-130J aircraft. A February 2005 Associated Press article noted, “A 2004 report from the office of the inspector general of the Department of Defense rated the J model unsatisfactory and cited deficiencies in, among other things, its defensive systems.”

$360,295,000 for projects in the state of Senate Defense Appropriations Subcommittee ranking member Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii), including: $22,000,000 for Maui Space Surveillance System operations and research; $21,650,000 for the Hawaii Federal Health Care Network; $17,000,000 for the digitization of DOD manuals; $6,000,000 for the Center of Excellence in Research and Ocean Sciences; $4,000,000 for the Center of Excellence for Disaster Management and Humanitarian Assistance; $3,400,000 for the Hickam Air Force Base Alternative Fuel Vehicle Program; $2,500,000 for a small business pilot program to re-engineer the DOD vendor payment process; $2,000,000 for small business development and transition; $1,000,000 for methane desalination systems; $500,000 for porous silicon research; and $500,000 for the Hawaii Wireless Interoperability Network.

$92,425,000 for projects in the state of Senate Defense Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), including: $17,000,000 for utility repairs ($8,500,00 at Fort Wainwright and $8,500,00 at Eielson Air Force Base); $15,100,000 for Allen Army Airfield upgrades; $12,800,000 for Alaska land mobile radios; $8,500,000 for the Port of Anchorage Intermodal Marine Facility Project; $3,400,000 for the High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program (HAARP), which was initially designed to capture energy from the aurora borealis [northern lights], but is now being configured to heat up the ionosphere to improve military communications (CAGW has identified $105.9 million appropriated for HAARP since 1995); $2,000,000 for a track relocation study at Fort Wainwright; and $500,000 for the Arctic Winter Games. According to the winter games website, “The Arctic Winter Games is a high profile circumpolar sport competition for northern and arctic athletes. The Games provide an opportunity to strengthen sport development in the participants’ jurisdictions, to promote the benefits of sport, to build partnerships, and to promote culture and values. The Games celebrate sport, social exchange and cultures. The Games provide an opportunity for the developing athlete to compete in friendly competition while sharing cultural values from northern regions around the world.”

$50,720,000 added for projects in the state of Senate Defense Appropriations Subcommittee member Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and House appropriators Harold Rogers (R-Ky.) and Anne Northup (R-Ky.), including: $8,400,000 for the Phalanx SeaRam; $2,800,000 for biometrics signature research; $2,520,000 for the Kentucky National Guard Counterdrug and High Intensity Drug Trafficking Area; and $1,000,000 for crossroad cluster communities at Fort Knox.

$32,800,000 added for projects in the state of House appropriators Joseph Knollenberg (R-Mich.) and Carolyn Kilpatrick (D-Mich.), including: $7,000,000 for the Future Tactical Truck System; $7,000,000 for the Modular Causeway System; and $1,000,000 for the Gaming-Technology Software Initiative.

$28,950,000 added by the Senate for projects in the state of Senate Defense Appropriations Subcommittee member Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.): $26,350,000 for a facility restoration plan at the Allegheny Ballistics Lab and $2,600,000 for the West Virginia National Guard for drug interdiction and counter-drug activities. The Allegheny Ballistics Center is located at the Robert C. Byrd Institute for Flexible Manufacturing.

$8,270,000 for breath alcohol testing equipment, including $7,270,000 for Breathscan® alcohol detectors and $1,000,000 for autonomous non-invasive alcohol testing.

$5,600,000 added by the House for the Gallo Center. According to its website, “The Ernest Gallo Clinic & Research Center (EGCRC) at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) was established in 1980 to study basic neuroscience and the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the brain.” There is no mention of any defense-related research. Apparently, they will serve no pork before its time.

$4,000,000 for the Bayonne Military Ocean Terminal (BMOT). Last year, CAGW noted that BMOT was the new home of Royal Caribbean cruise ships and was used as a location for the film “A Beautiful Mind” and HBO’s television series “Oz.” In 2005, the Bayonne Local Redevelopment Agency, the governing entity of BMOT, bragged that it was “the proud recipient of the New Jersey Planning Officials (NJPO) 2005 ‘Achievement in Planning Award’ and New Jersey Future 2005 ‘Smart Growth Award.’”

$4,000,000 added by the House for the Toledo Shipyard Improvement Plan in the district of House Defense Appropriations Subcommittee member Marcy Kaptur (D-Ohio). According to The Toledo Blade, the shipyard was scheduled to close on October 31, 2005. The paper noted, “Despite millions of dollars in pledged public aid for modernizations and upgrades, the Toledo Shipyard's operator has indicated that it will pull anchor by the end of October, costing the area about 70 jobs.” Business at the shipyard has been waning over the last 20 years.

$2,500,000 for out-of-this-world appropriations in California; $1,500,000 for the Allen Telescope array and $1,000,000 for the Griffith Observatory Planetarium. While the Allen Telescope Array will look for extraterrestrial life, the newly renovated Griffith observatory will showcase American accomplishments in space. There are no exhibits yet planned on how DOD will defend the world against aliens.

$1,000,000 for the Waterfree Urinal Conservation Initiative added by Rep. Vernon Ehlers (R-Mich.). According to a October 20, 2005 CongressDaily article, Rep. Ehlers wrote a letter to House Defense Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman C.W. (Bill) Young (R-Fla.) requesting this earmark.

$1,000,000 added by the House for the already-closed Philadelphia Navy Yard. At the September 2004 announcement of a $2 billion plan for the Navy Yard, Philadelphia Mayor John Street said, “The Plan builds on the Navy Yard’s history as an industrial site and defines an exciting mix of office, research, commercial, and residential development including a new marina district and extension of the Broad Street Subway to access the Yard as part of a new Philadelphia waterfront neighborhood that will result in as many as 30,000 jobs at the 1,200-acre site. The Navy Master Plan is a centerpiece of the Mayor’s New River City proposal, which calls for coordinated development of the City’s entire 38 miles of waterfront.”

$1,000,000 added by the Senate for a competency-based distance education initiative with Western Governors University in the state of Senate appropriator Robert Bennett (R-Utah). This school is a private university that only gained accreditation in 2003. A close examination of their website does not reveal any defense-related missions.

$500,000 added in conference for the Translational Genomics Research Institute in the district of House appropriator Ed Pastor (D-Ariz.). According to the Institute’s website, “The vision of the Translational Genomics Research Institute is a world where genomic discoveries can be rapidly translated to the diagnosis and treatment of disease in a manner tailored to the individual.” There is no mention as to why they receive money from the Department of Defense.

III. ENERGY AND WATER

Hurricane Katrina exposed the truth about congressional appropriators. Instead of fully funding high-priority levees and flood control projects, appropriators have chosen to fund their own pet projects across the country, and even within the Gulf States. The 942 projects included in this bill will receive $1.6 billion in 2006, a 16 percent decrease from the $1.9 billion in fiscal 2005.

$100,327,000, a 56 percent increase from fiscal year 2005, for projects in the state of Senate Energy and Water Appropriations Subcommittee member Mary Landrieu (D-La.) and the district of House appropriator Rodney Alexander (R-La.) including: $13,500,000 for the J. Bennett Johnston Waterway; $11,250,000 for the Inner Harbor Canal Lock, which has been deemed ineffective because of changing water traffic patterns; $2,250,000 for Mississippi River Outlets in Venice; $1,170,000 for Barartaria Bay; $500,000 for the Louisiana State University Sugar-Based Ethanol Project; $442,000 for Lake Providence Harbor; $400,000 for Louisiana Immersive Technologies Enterprise Program at the University of Louisiana-Lafayette; $375,000 for Ascension Parish environmental infrastructure; $172,000 for Mississippi River Ship Channel; and $77,000 for Madison Parish Port. One would assume that the increase in Louisiana earmarks could be attributed to Hurricane Katrina. Unfortunately, this was not the case as the majority of projects added by the appropriations committee do not concern flood control or the reparation of destroyed levees. For example, 13.4 percent of total Louisiana pork, or $13,500,000, was allocated to one project, the J. Bennett Johnston Waterway, even though it is only used by 4 percent of Louisiana’s commercial traffic. And, according to the Army Corps of Engineers, the waterway’s costs will not be justified until 2046.


$83,500,000 for projects at the Yazoo Basin in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee Chairman Thad Cochran (R-Miss.), including: $25,000,000 for miscellaneous water sources in the Yazoo Basin; $22,000,000 for the Delta Headwaters Project; and $20,000,000 for the backwater pumping plants. Yazoo Basin projects are receiving 63.3 percent more than the state of Mississippi received from the entire Energy and Water bill in fiscal year 2005 and have exceeded the President’s fiscal 2006 budget request of $28,920,00 by 188 percent.

$79,745,000 for projects in the state of Senate Energy and Water Appropriations Subcommittee Ranking Member Harry Reid (D-Nev.), including: $14,300,000 for the University of Nevada, Las Vegas ($5,000,000 to study the deep burn-up of nuclear fuel and other fuel cycle research, $3,400,000 for the study of hydrogen fuel cell and storage, $3,400,000 to research the solar-powered thermo-chemical production of hydrogen, and $2,500,000 for photonics research and the evaluation of advanced fiber optics for hybrid solar lighting); $3,400,000 for the National Center on Energy Management and Building Technology; $3,500,000 for the National Renewable Energy Laboratory’s virtual- site office; $2,500,000 for Altair Nanotech; $1,000,000 for materials reliability at the University of Nevada- Reno Center; and $250,000 for the Mojave Bird Study. Due to previous concerns regarding the safety of birds in the area, an environmental impact report, released in July of 2004, revealed that the death toll on red-tailed hawks and other bird species in the area would be minimal following the construction of a wind farm. According to an article published by Judith Lewis in LA Weekly, the local Audubon groups that led the attack on the Pine Tree Wind Farm offered to pay for a meticulous study that would focus specifically on the songbirds. However, the government insisted on conducting their own study using taxpayer dollars to fund the project.

$56,078,000 added by the Senate in the state of Senate Energy and Water Appropriations Subcommittee member Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), including: $11,650,000 for construction of the Santa Ana River Mainstem; $10,000,000 for the San Gabriel Basin Restoration Project; $7,000,000 for the UCLA Institute for Molecular Medicine; $3,000,000 for the American River Watershed; $3,000,000 for the San Ramon Valley Recycled Water Project; $2,900,000 for regional wetlands in Lake Tahoe; $1,440,000 for the San Francisco Bay Long-Term Management Study; $1,250,000 for the Long Beach Desalination Project; $1,000,000 for the Sacramento River Division Study; $1,000,000 for a water reclamation project in Orange County; $500,000 for the Arnold Palmer Prostate Center; $400,000 for the California Hydrogen Infrastructure Project; and $300,000 for Surfside-Sunset and Newport beaches. Senator Feinstein told reporters, “The problem with earmarks is they’re put in in the dark of night and they are unknown. I recognize that earmarks have been abused.” Fifty-six million dollars later, the other side of her mouth is probably singing a different tune.

$53,730,000 for projects in the state of Senate Energy and Water Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Pete Domenici (R-N.M.), including: $11,000,000 for the Mind Institute; $9,076,000 for the Middle Rio Grande Project; $5,000,000 for New Mexico environmental infrastructure; $4,000,000 for the Rio Grande Bosque rehabilitation; $3,500,000 for the nuclear energy materials test station at Los Alamos Neutron Science Center; and $1,000,000 for the Navajo electrification process.

$17,500,000 for projects in the district of House Energy and Water Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman David Hobson (R-Ohio), including: $13,000,000 for Ohio environmental infrastructure; $3,000,000 for the NextEdge Technical Park in Springfield; $1,500,000 for the Springfield Equestrian Center Energy Efficiency Project; and $1,000,000 for the Ohio State University 4-H Green Building Project. Representative Hobson told CQ Today that lawmakers’ resistance to the energy budget cuts proposed by the Bush administration “may be a little bit of a problem. I totally agree with all the goals. I just have to make sure we spend the money in the right places and that we don’t damage good programs that are already out there.”

IV. FOREIGN OPERATIONS

The U.S. government continues to dig deep into the taxpayers’ pockets to help those affected by natural disasters and disease and to assist economically unstable countries. Yet Congress insists on wasting money that could be used to fund more worthwhile projects around the world. However, there is a silver lining. Foreign Operations Appropriations pork spending decreased 77 percent, from $473.9 million in fiscal year 2005 to $107.7 million in fiscal year 2006.

$13,500,000 added by the House for the International Fund for Ireland (IFI), which has released a five-year strategy focusing on grassroots reconciliation and cross-community projects such as: the construction of Creggan Community Café and Catering Ltd., the Newcastle YMCA, the Donegal Town Waterbus, the Leitrim Food Center of Excellence, the Chef Development Program, and funding toward the World Toilet Summit. Could there be a better example of the government flushing away your money?

$3,000,000 for the Foundation for Environmental Security and Sustainability (FESS), which addresses environmental concerns around the world. Though the program received funding from the USAID budget for the last five years, it has shown little progress. The two most recent projects, performed in February and May of 2005, were pilot country studies in Uganda and the Dominican Republic. It appears that unused funding is reallocated to FESS affiliate programs at the University of Mississippi and Tulane Law School.

$2,300,000 for the International Fertilizer Development Center (IFDC) in the state of Senate Foreign Operations Appropriations Subcommittee member Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) and the district of House appropriator Robert Cramer (D-Ala.). This is the ninth year that Congress has funded this program, and this year spending jumped 26 percent from $1,702,000 in fiscal year 2005. The IFDC seeks to augment agricultural activity using environmentally friendly means. An October 2005 press release from the IFDC was titled: “There is Money in the Soil and Djaka Kope Farmers Want It.” Perhaps in the future, Congress and the IFDC should look in the soil for funding rather than in taxpayers’ pockets.

V. HOMELAND SECURITY

Spending on projects was on the rise in the fiscal 2006 Homeland Security Appropriations Act. As the need remains for a secure America, appropriators continued to fund projects that were not requested by the administration. While the number of projects in the bill decreased by 45 percent from 64 in fiscal 2005 to 35 in fiscal 2006, spending increased 57 percent, from $1.7 billion to $2.7 billion.

$175,000,000 added by the House for the port security grants. The program, established in 2002, allows port authorities and private companies to apply for federal funding to improve physical security at U.S. ports. After going through the application process, recipients are expected to use the grants for dockside and perimeter security. However, an audit performed by the inspector general of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) revealed that a number of the grants, “appeared to be for a purpose other than security against an act of terrorism.” According to the report, though 80 percent of international commerce goes through only 10 ports, the grant program for fiscal 2005 provided substantial funding to 79 ports. The audit report pins the majority of the blame on the department and reveals that many of the grants are pushed through even when the applications fail to demonstrate need.

$78,631,000 added for general provisions for the 100 foot Island Class Patrol Boat. These boats are currently being used by the U.S. Coast Guard to enforce immigration and drug laws. According to the 2006 Homeland Security Appropriations Act House report and an article published by Sea Power, the effectiveness of these boats has been in decline since 2001. As maintenance costs for emergency repairs continue to rise, so do the contributions from taxpayers.

$40,000,000 added by the Senate for the Real ID Grant Program. Passed in May 2005, the Real ID Act for the first time set federal standards for authenticating and securing state-issued driver’s licenses. DHS has two options: allow states to use inexpensive, protected technology, or force them to embed costly, personally intrusive brittle computer chips. Whichever alternative is used, the new system will place a heavy burden on state and local governments, especially departments of motor vehicles, as well as on taxpayers and drivers.

$10,000,000 added by the House for the Intercity Bus Security Grant Program, which is meant to improve driver protection, passenger screening, tracking and communication between buses, and overall security assessment. While the individual grants continue to fund profitable companies, such as Coach and Greyhound, the most ridiculous grant in fiscal 2005 was $46,908 for Hampton Jitney, Inc. The Jitney is known primarily for shuttling wealthy New Yorkers to their summer homes in the Hamptons. The company has recently added a limousine service that promises “a custom tailored limousine ride for an unforgettable day.”

$10,000,000 added by the House for the Rural Domestic Preparedness Consortium. This program was created by Congress to guarantee that citizens living in rural areas were equally protected. There is a marked lack of urgency, however, as there continues to be no report detailing current or future plans for the project.

VI. INTERIOR

The fiscal 2006 Interior Appropriations Act is similar to its predecessors, with the addition of funding for the Environmental Protection Agency. One of most recognizable agencies in this bill is the National Park Service (NPS), a.k.a. “the National Pork Service.” In March 2005, the Congressional Research Service cited $9.7 billion worth of maintenance backlogged at national parks. That didn’t stop appropriators from adding $136 million in pork for the NPS. Total pork for the Interior bill was $669.5 million dispersed among 737 projects.

$47,326,000 for projects in the state of Senate Interior Appropriations Subcommittee member Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), including: $12,733,000 for Western Arctic Parklands; $7,000,000 for Alaska conveyance; $4,000,000 for a visitors center at the Kodiak National Wildlife Refuge; $1,100,000 for the Matunuska-Susitna Borough; $750,000 for the Wrangell-St. Elias National Park; $450,000 for the Bering Sea Fisherman’s Association; $400,000 for the Ketchikan Wood Technology Center; $150,000 for the Alaska Whaling Commission; and $98,000 for the Alaska Sea Otter Commission.

$31,720,000 for projects in the state of Senate Interior Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Conrad Burns (R-Mont.), including: $6,000,000 for the Blackfoot River Community Project in the Helena and Lolo National Forests; $3,000,000 for land acquisition in Swan Valley, Flathead National Forest; $1,500,000 for the Salish and Kootenai College Information Technology Program; $1,000,000 for an air quality improvement program in Lincoln County; $400,000 for the Carnegie Library building in Missoula (As part of their private fundraising, “All donors making gifts of $5,000 and above will be included in a donor recognition wall, most likely located in the Grand Foyer.”); and $150,000 for the Anaconda-Deer Lodge Courthouse.

$17,577,000 for projects in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee Chairman Thad Cochran (R-Miss.) and the district of House appropriator Roger Wicker (R-Miss.), including: $2,000,000 for wastewater system rehabilitation for the West Rankin Water Authority; $1,000,000 for the Delta Interpretive Center; $1,000,000 for Smith County Lake; $900,000 for the Center for Marine Resources; $500,000 for a regional wastewater program in DeSoto County; $225,000 for the Hinds County Courthouse; and $100,000 for the Ocean Springs Community Center.

$13,950,000 for projects in the state of Senate Interior Appropriations Subcommittee member Robert Bennett (R-Utah), including: $4,000,000 for the Utah Public Lands Artifact Preservation Act; $1,500,000 for the Bonneville Shoreline Trail; $750,000 for the Range Creek/Rainbow Glass Ranch; $500,000 for a wastewater treatment plant in Eagle Mountain; and $300,000 for wastewater infrastructure improvements for Judge Tunnel in Park City.

$10,900,000 for projects in the state of Senate appropriator Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii), including: $3,700,000 for land acquisition at Haleakala National Park; $3,400,000 for the Wao Kele o Puna rain forest (In a letter to legislators, the president of Malama O Puna, a Hawaii nonprofit environmental group, urged that federal money be spent on the project: “On behalf of all our members, the birds who cannot speak for themselves, and generations yet to come, I thank you for your staunch support.”); $600,000 for the Native Hawaiian Culture and Arts Program; and $450,000 for water monitoring.

$6,950,000 for projects in the state of Senate Interior Appropriations Subcommittee member Larry Craig (R-Idaho), including: $1,500,000 for land acquisition at Upper Snake/South Fork Snake River; $1,000,000 for land acquisition at Thunder Mountain in the Payette National Forest; and $300,000 for the University of Idaho Mica Creek study. According to the University of Idaho, “The Mica Creek Experimental Watershed is a paired and nested catchment study basin, privately operated by Potlatch Corporation.” According to its website, Potlatch is “a diversified forest products company with 1.5 million acres of timberland and 4,000 employees in the United States,” with $1.35 billion in net sales in 2004.

$4,500,000 for the Katahdin Iron Works in Maine. This company operated in Maine between 1843 and 1890. According to Mainerec.com, “Although isolated, it was tied closely to outside markets and technological advances in the iron industry. Its beginnings, for example, paralleled a growing demand for iron farm tools, machinery and railroad car wheels. In the end, the iron works failed when huge mills in Pennsylvania brought the nation's new age of steel.” According to The Wilderness Society, “The project also features new recreational amenities such as trails, water access points and backcountry facilities that will help bring new visitors to the region.”

$350,000 added by the Senate for the Chicago Greenstreets Program in the state of Senate appropriator Richard Durbin (D-Ill.). According to a participant in the program, Moore Landscapes, Inc., “The City of Chicago's Greenstreets Program included the design, installation, and maintenance of over 950 hanging baskets this summer. This newly added feature, overflowing with splashes of vivid color and delicate foliage provide a welcoming touch to the streets of Chicago.”

The National Park Service (NPS) administers the Save America’s Treasures program for “preservation and/or conservation work on nationally significant intellectual and cultural artifacts and historic structures and sites.” NPS explicitly says that “Grants are awarded to Federal, state, local, and tribal government entities, and non-profit organizations through a competitive matching-grant program,…” NPS requested $15,000,000 for the competitive program, and Congress increased that by 112 percent, or $16,750,000, all of which was earmarked and added in conference.

$400,000 for the Kam Wah Chung & Company Museum in John Day, Oregon. The museum is dedicated to the work of two Chinese immigrants, Lung On and Ing “Doc” Hay. Admission to the museum is $3 for adults, $2.50 for seniors, and $1.50 for students. An estimated 3,000 people visit the museum each year. According to the museum’s website, “Other fund-raising goals the Friends Group has identified include: Acquiring a support building near the Museum to serve as a visitor, education and interpretive center, and to house the Curator's office. To do this, we anticipate the need to raise approximately $40,000 in the next two years.” By this estimate, the federal contribution could support the construction of 10 buildings.

$250,000 for the Stanley Theater in Utica, New York. According to the theater’s website, “Every ticket sold to a Stanley event includes $2 to help pay for the continued restoration of this magnificent showplace. Major funding has also come from the Natural Heritage Trust of the State of New York, the County of Oneida, the City of Utica and many private sources.” Don’t forget Uncle Sam.

$150,000 for the Bulgarian-Macedonian National Education and Cultural Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. According to its website, “The Bulgarian-Macedonian National Educational And Cultural Center is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization founded in 1995. Its mission is to preserve, perpetuate and present the rich cultural heritage of the Bulgarian and Macedonian people. The BMNECC is projected as a ‘must see’ tourist attraction in the Pittsburgh area in which will be contained both permanent and revolving cultural exhibits and a Performing Arts Center as well as an efficient and attractive Museum, Library and Archives.” We’ll wait for the movie.

$150,000 for the Actors Theater in Louisville, Kentucky, in the district of House appropriator Anne Northup (R-Ky.). Founded in 1964 and designated as the Kentucky State Theater in 1974, the theater’s mission is to provide “insight into the human experience through live theatre that invigorates minds and emotions... We will build a better community by bringing people together to participate in the power of collective imagination.” One of the theater’s productions is called Bad Date, in which “a feisty single mom relocates to the big city, finds a new career and jumps back into the shark-infested dating pool only to find herself on the wrong side of the law…the hilarious and unforgettable story of one woman's love life, her anticipation of (and recovery from) each new date and the fabulous shoe collection that saves her every time!”

VII. LABOR, HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, AND EDUCATION (LABOR/HHS)

The 2006 Labor/HHS Appropriations Act is a tale of two bills. On one hand, Senate Labor/HHS Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Arlen Specter (R-Pa.), drew a line in the sand, refusing to add earmarks. Although House appropriators squealed, the result was a 98 percent drop in earmarks, from 3,071 to 51. On the other hand, total pork increased 3 percent, from $1.7 billion in 2005 to $1.75 billion in 2006. Despite the fact that President Bush cut 48 projects from the Department of Education (DoE), appropriators chose to ignore the majority of those cuts, returning funding to 25 of the programs. The DoE received the majority of earmarks in this bill.

$100,000,000 added by the House for the Even Start program. This program was created in 1988 as an attempt to terminate the link between poverty and illiteracy by creating a family literacy course. The DoE has argued that the program’s combination of early childhood education, adult literacy, and parenting education creates a family dynamic that aids in the learning process. However, DoE’s own studies proved that claim groundless, revealing that no educational discrepancy exists between families that enrolled in the Even Start program and families that did not. Not only is Even Start lacking in educational gains, but it has also failed to track accurately the progress of families that are receiving grants. It does, however, track the number of hours of instruction provided to the grantees. But who has the time to track actual learning when you are busy vying for tens of millions of dollars in federal funding?

$65,643,000 added for the Leveraging Educational Assistance Partnership (LEAP) program. The purpose of this program is to award grants to states, which in turn award grants to financially unstable students attending postsecondary institutions. The states are required to match federal spending dollar for dollar. While this program may have been necessary at one time, that time seems to have passed. At the program’s inception in 1972, only 28 states were providing need-based financial grants. However, only two states now fail to provide this need-based program. In most cases, state spending is significantly higher than federal spending. Despite these changes, the statute underlying the program stipulates that states cannot receive less than they received in 1979. This program is a leap, indeed: a leap back 27 years.

$41,000,000 added by the Senate for Byrd Honors Scholarships. The scholarships, named after Senate Appropriations Committee ranking member Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.), are meant to encourage secondary school students to excel in their lessons and go on to a postsecondary institution. However, according to Expect More, a program that evaluates the efficiency of government programs, students are given no real incentives, as there are no requirements that must be met or set goals to be achieved. Absent any defined standards, there is no way of knowing whether students who received this aid ever really “qualified” for the “coveted” scholarships. Furthermore, the law of this program does not allow the states to use any funding to determine whether or not the program is succeeding. This program gets an “F,” for failure to set standards and follow up on effectiveness.

$21,750,000 added for the National Writing Project, a program established by Congress and developed by the DoE, which aims to enhance the writing skills of grade school teachers. Approximately 180 sites are scattered across the country in the hopes that teachers will seek training in the art of writing. While the program seeks to increase the effectiveness of teachers, there is no system in place for determining whether or not the teachers’ writing skills have improved. Although studies have been conducted to determine whether or not this program is worthwhile, neither study has compared its results with teachers that did not receive aid from the National Writing Project. Moreover, the National Writing Project can be considered a duplicative project. DoE already spends $3 billion annually on programs meant to “professionally” train teachers to hone their writing skills. Hopefully these teachers learned how to write in college.

$2,000,000 added by the Senate for the Underground Railroad Program. This grant program, receiving consistent funding from Congress for the last seven years, was created to research, collect, interpret, and display artifacts from the Underground Railroad. After reviewing the projected goals, it becomes apparent why it was deemed a low- priority project and cut from the President’s budget. The target goal, set by the Department of Education for fiscal 2005, was to establish a baseline to measure performance. After noting a lack of collected data, the target goal for 2006 is to establish a baseline to measure performance. It is time for this train to stop running.

$980,000 added by the House for B. J. Stupak Olympic Scholarships. This program was created in 1992 to provide financial assistance to Olympic athletes who wish to pursue a postsecondary education. The massive amount of financial assistance available to students at public and private institutions across the country makes this project unnecessary. Furthermore, the only stipulated requirement is that the grantee must be training at one of the United States Olympic Training Centers. There is no incentive for the grantee to improve performance or demonstrate ability in any area other than their specified sport. This is just a hunch, but the appropriations committees will probably not medal in this project.

VIII. LEGISLATIVE BRANCH

Senate and House appropriators took the opportunity to feed a few of their favorite projects in the fiscal 2006 Legislative Branch Appropriations Act. The number of projects decreased by 17 percent, from 17 to 14. The amount of pork dropped 7.2 percent, from $21.3 million in fiscal 2005 to $19.8 million in fiscal 2006.

$5,000,000 added by the Senate to complete the increasingly bloated Capitol Visitor Center (CVC). Since construction began in fall 2001, Congress has continued to pour funding into this monument to excess and waste. The cost has risen from $265 million to at least $584 million and is running two years behind schedule.

$830,000 for projects added in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee Chairman Thad Cochran (R-Miss.): $430,000 for the John C. Stennis Center for Public Service Training and Development, a federal legislative agency created in 1988 to promote and enhance public service careers in America, and $400,000 for the creation of the American Music Archives at the University of Mississippi.

$600,000 for the Abraham Lincoln Bicentennial Commission, which seeks to inspire Lincoln observances until his bicentennial birthday in 2009. Because Senate appropriator Richard Durbin
(D-Ill.) and House appropriator Ray LaHood (R-Ill.) are co-chairmen of the commission, it is likely taxpayers will be funding this project for at least three more years.

$450,000 added by the House for plantings on the eastern front of the Capitol. This will allow members of Congress a chance to “stop and smell the roses” before they proceed with plunging the country deeper into debt.

IX. MILITARY CONSTRUCTION

The fiscal 2006 Military Construction, the Department of Veterans Affairs, and Related Agencies Appropriators Act was fair to veterans as it funded their programs without any pork. However, appropriators did dip into the trough for military construction projects. In fiscal 2006, there were 144 projects worth $1 billion compared to fiscal 2005, in which there were 143 projects worth $974 million.

$42,095,000 for projects in the state of Senate appropriator Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) and in the districts of House Military Construction Appropriations Subcommittee members Robert Aderholdt (R-Ala.) and Bud Cramer (D-Ala.), including: $20,000,000 for a systems software engineering annex at Redstone Arsenal; $9,700,000 for a C41 facility at Fort Rucker; $5,100,000 for a school age services facility at Redstone Arsenal; $4,145,000 for an addition/alteration of a readiness center at Fort Payne; and $3,150,000 for an upgrade for 33 Theater High Altitude Air Defense storage at the Anniston Army Depot.

$24,700,000 for projects in the state of Senate Military Construction Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii): $17,000,000 for Saddle Road at the Pohakuloa Training Area and $7,700,000 to upgrade an electrical distribution system at Hickam Air Force Base (Phase III).

$24,000,000 for projects at Twentynine Palms in the district of House Appropriations Committee Chairman Jerry Lewis (R-Calif.): $21,000,000 for military operations on urban terrain (Phase I); and $3,000,000 to improve the wastewater treatment facility.

$23,500,000 for projects in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee Ranking Member Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.) and the district of House appropriator Alan Mollohan (D-W.Va.), including: $19,000,000 for Shepherd Field ($17,000,000 to upgrade and extend the runway for the Air National Guard and $2,000,000 for C-5 shop upgrades) and $4,500,000 for an Army National Guard Readiness Center at Camp Dawson.

$21,700,000 added by the Senate for projects in the state of Senate appropriator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska): $5,900,000 for a mobility warehouse at Eielson Air Force Base; $5,600,000 for an information systems facility at Fort Wainwright; $5,500,000 for a rotary wing landing pad at Fort Wainwright; and $4,700,000 for a railhead port facility at Fort Richardson.

$18,050,000 for projects at Fort Hood in the district of House Military Construction Appropriations Subcommittee member John Carter (R-Texas): $6,800,000 for a physical fitness center; $6,600,000 for a central shipping/receiving point; and $4,650,000 for a fire station. There are six fitness facilities at Fort Hood, including the newly renovated Abrams Physical Fitness Center. According to a local website, “Newly renovated, Abrams is one of the Army's top fitness centers. Equipped with a state-of-the-art life fitness Interactive Training System, computerized cardiovascular equipment with TV access, free weights, two coed saunas, three regular racquetball courts and a Challenge court, an eight-lane 25 meter swimming pool…”

$10,000,000 added by the House for Phase II of the First Air Force Operations Center at Tyndall Air Force Base in the district of House Military Construction Appropriations Subcommittee member Allen Boyd (D-Fla.).

$9,600,000 added in conference for a replacement composite ASOC/ASOS training facility for the Air National Guard at the Peoria Regional Airport in the district of House appropriator Ray LaHood (R-Ill.).

$5,070,000 added by the House for a Provost Marshall screening facility at Miramar Marine Corps Air Station in the district of newly incarcerated former Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham (R-Calif.). Ironically, the Provost Marshall is the supervisor of the military police.

X. SCIENCE, STATE, JUSTICE, AND COMMERCE (SSJC)

What was known as the Commerce, Justice, State Appropriations Act is now the Science, Departments of State, Justice, and Commerce, and Related Agencies Appropriations Act (SSJC). Besides the usual law enforcement and National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) pork embedded in this bill is a newcomer, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA). In 2006, $1.9 billion of pork was dispersed among 1,987 projects.

$100,891,000 for 124 projects in the state of Senate SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Richard Shelby (R-Ala.), and the districts of House SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Robert Cramer (D-Ala.) and House appropriator Robert Aderholdt (R-Ala.), including: $5,000,000 for the Autonomous Rendezvous and Docking Center of Excellence; $3,500,000 for Auburn University to develop high-efficiency free piston sterling converters; $2,500,000 for Mobile Bay oyster recovery; $2,500,000 for Saturn V Rocket restoration at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center; $1,500,000 for Alabama state docks economic development; $1,500,000 for the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office for an integrated law enforcement records management system; $1,250,000 for the Alabama Criminal Justice Information Center’s Share Tech program; $1,000,000 for Team Focus, Inc. for a mentoring and education program; $1,000,000 for the Bring Back Broad Street initiative in Mobile; $850,000 for the Alabama Department of Archives and History; $500,000 for the West Alabama shrimp aquaculture program; $250,000 for the Family Success Center in Decatur; and $250,000 for Girls Inc. of Alabama. The organization is “a national nonprofit youth organization dedicated to inspiring all girls to be strong, smart, and bold.” With a fund balance of more than $14 million in 2004, Girls Inc. is strong enough not to need a federal handout, but smart and bold enough to ask for and accept one.

$57,625,000 for projects in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee Chairman Thad Cochran (R-Miss.) and the district of House appropriator Roger Wicker (R-Miss.), including: $5,000,000 for the Industrial Outreach Service at Mississippi State University (whose mission is “to help Mississippi industry become more effective and competitive in the global economy. IOS serves as a coordinated, dedicated, and responsive conduit for applying resources and expertise available within the university to the problems and issues faced by Mississippi business and industry.”); $5,000,000 for the Mississippi Center for Marine Education and Research; $1,000,000 for the University of Mississippi to expand the mission of the National Center for Air and Space Law; $1,000,000 for the Alcorn State University Judicial Threat Analysis Center; $500,000 for Mitchell Memorial Library for the digitization of special collections; $315,000 for the City of Jackson YMCA; and $200,000 for NOAA radio transmitters.

$42,650,000 for projects in the state of Senate SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), including: $6,000,000 for the Barrow Arctic Research Center; $3,200,000 for the Alaska Fisheries Network; $2,000,000 for a community development program through NOAA; $200,000 for the Alaska Small Business Development Center; and $150,000 for the Wasilla Police Department for technology upgrades. Wasilla had an estimated population of 7,700 in 2004. In comparison, Baltimore City, Maryland received a $100,000 earmark for the same purpose and it has a population of more than 600,000. In 2006, Alaska received $25 million in pork through NOAA. According to syndicated columnist Robert Novak, Sen. Stevens complained to NOAA Administrator Conrad C. Lautenbacher that Alaska was being discriminated against in reference to the NOAA budget. “It looked like someone had sort of a heavy pencil in Alaska,” Stevens said. Apparently, not heavy enough.

$30,215,000 for projects in the state of Senate SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Judd Gregg (R-N.H.), including: $6,000,000 for the Great Bay Partnership; $5,000,000 for AIRMAP; $3,000,000 for the continuation of the J-ONE Information Sharing System; $3,000,000 for the Large Pelagics Research Program; $1,500,000 for the Alan Shepard Discovery Center at the McAuliffe Planetarium; $1,100,000 for Operation Streetsweeper; $900,000 for the Tuck School of Business/Minority Business Development Agency Partnership; $660,000 for the New Hampshire Cyber Crime Initiative; $250,000 for the Daniel Webster Boy Scout Council for outdoor education; and $100,000 for the Amoskeag Business Incubator.

$24,166,000 for projects in the state of Senate SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) and the districts of House appropriators Harold Rogers (R-Ky.) and Anne Northup (R-Ky.), including: $8,000,000 for Operation UNITE; $3,000,000 for the Southern and Eastern Kentucky Tourism Development Association; and $2,500,000 for the Southern and Eastern Kentucky Economic Development Corporation (SKED), which, according to its website, “is a community development organization formed in 1986 to create employment opportunities in a 42-county service area in Southern and Eastern Kentucky. It accomplishes this mission by recruiting new businesses, making direct loans, and providing economic development services to local communities. Since its creation, SKED has secured loans and grants totaling more than $18 million, providing funding for over 50 businesses which in turn have created more than 5,000 jobs throughout the region.”

$300,000 added in conference for the Tanks-a-Lock project in the state of Senate SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Tom Harkin (D-Iowa). According to a press release from Sen. Harkin’s office, “The Tanks-A-Lock program is very simple: it provides funding to purchase special locks for anhydrous ammonia tanks. Anhydrous ammonia is a key ingredient in the meth cocktail. The special locks for anhydrous ammonia tanks cost around $60 each.”

$100,000 added by the House for the Harpers Ferry Police Department in West Virginia. The population of Harpers Ferry was less than 400 in 2004 and the police force today consists of two full-time and one part-time police officers. This is the same size police force as the fictional town of Mayberry on The Andy Griffith Show. Unfortunately, those are real tax dollars for Harpers Ferry.

$100,000 added in conference for the Richard Steele Boxing Club in Henderson, Nevada, in the state of Senate appropriator Harry Reid (D-Nev.). According to the Boxing Club’s website, “the Richard Steele Boxing Club is open to at-risk youth in Henderson, Nevada as well as the surrounding Las Vegas area. This program is currently designed to provide 300 to 600 youths, per year, ages 8 to 18 with USA boxing regulation competition in the sport of boxing and international Karate competition.” The first rule of Boxing Club is not to earmark money for Boxing Club.

$50,000 added by the House for the Rock in Prevention program (RIP) in Des Moines, Iowa. Its mission is “to reduce the illegal use of alcohol, tobacco and other drugs by youth in Iowa and its bordering states. RIP utilizes ‘high school mentors’ with music and the arts, to teach and persuade children in an interactive approach to lead lives free of alcohol, tobacco and drugs.” Let’s hope that they are not listening to “White Punks on Dope.”

NASA used to be funded through the VA/HUD Bill. After some appropriations “musical chairs,” NASA is now part of the SSJC bill. NASA has been criticized by the Government Accountability Office for poor management, but part of NASA’s problems are caused by appropriators, who added $273 million in earmarks, in conference, without a budget request from the agency.

$17,700,000 for projects in the state of Senate SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee Ranking Member Barbara Mikulski (D-Md.) and House appropriator Steny Hoyer (D-Md.), including: $4,000,000 for the Chesapeake Information Based Aeronautics Consortium in Baltimore; $2,500,000 for the Goddard Space Flight Center for radiance process dry-cleaning capability; and $200,000 for Coppin State University, for the Middle Passage Project to support the Geospatial Sciences Laboratory.

$5,000,000 for projects in the district of House Appropriations Committee Chairman Jerry Lewis (R-Calif.): $4,000,000 for space radiation research at Loma Linda University, and $1,000,000 for academic programs at the University of Redlands.

$4,000,000 added for projects in the state of Senate appropriator Conrad Burns (R-Mont.), including: $1,250,000 for compact laser sensors at Montana State University; $600,000 for the Montana Technology and Innovation Partnership; and $500,000 for the AgCam Science Application Team at Montana State University.

$3,500,000 for the Educational Advancement Alliance to support the Alliance’s K-12 math, science and technology education and scholarship program.

$3,000,000 for the Mauna Kea Discovery Center in Hilo in the state of Senate SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii).

$250,000 for the Liberty Science Center in Jersey City, New Jersey. According to the center’s website, “Liberty Science Center is the most visited museum in New Jersey and one of the most intensively used in the country. Since opening in 1993, we have introduced nearly nine million people to the wonder and awe of hands-on science discovery.” The center should discover other funding mechanisms.

Tucked away in the SSJC appropriations is $91 million for the Small Business Administration (SBA). According to SBA’s website, its mission is “to maintain and strengthen the nation's economy by aiding, counseling, assisting and protecting the interests of small businesses and by helping families and businesses recover from national disasters.” The following earmarks were deemed by members of Congress as critical to SBA’s mission:

$2,000,000 added in conference for the United States-China Economic and Security Review Commission.

$2,100,000 added by the Senate for the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee for the Southeastern Fiber Optic Project.

$2,000,000 for the Virginia Community College System web portal.

$1,870,000 added in conference for the MountainMade Foundation in the state of Senate Appropriations Committee ranking member Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.) and House SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee Ranking Member Alan Mollohan (D-W.Va.). According to MountainMade’s website: “While the isolation of the mountains helps to preserve our state’s largely unspoiled natural beauty, it can also make it difficult for our talented artists and craftspeople to gain access to the best markets in which to sell their work. In the early 1990’s Congressman Alan B. Mollohan (D-W.V.) realized that, through the use of technology, West Virginia artists and craftspeople could overcome some of these challenges and gain more exposure for their work by promoting their creations on the World Wide Web. The Robert C. Byrd National Technology Transfer Center at Wheeling Jesuit University took on that project and developed the initial web site. In November 2001, the non-profit MountainMade Foundation assumed administration of the program.” Craftily, the organization is still soaking the taxpayers.

$1,000,000 added in conference for Western Carolina University for a computer engineering program in the district of House SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Charles Taylor (R-N.C.).

$300,000 added in conference for projects in the district of House SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Frank Wolf (R-Va.): $100,000 for the Cedar Creek Battlefield Foundation; $100,000 for the Belle Grove Plantation; and $100,000 for the Winchester-Frederick Convention and Visitor Bureau.

$100,000 for the South Carolina International Center for Automotive Research Park Innovation. This program is located at Clemson University and according to the center’s website: “The campus will be built on 400 acres of prime Greenville, S.C., property that fronts Interstate 85 halfway between Charlotte, N.C. and Atlanta, Ga., a corridor that is home to two-thirds of the nation’s motorsports racing teams. There already are 200 automotive-related businesses in South Carolina and another 114 automotive industry suppliers located in the Palmetto State.” Yes, they are racing away with our tax dollars.

$50,000 added in conference to establish the Tito Puente Legacy Project at Hostos Community College in the district of House SSJC Appropriations Subcommittee member Jose Serrano
(D-N.Y.).

XI. TRANSPORTATION/TREASURY/HOUSING AND URBAN DEVELOPMENT (TTHUD)

Appropriators sped to the fiscal 2006 TTHUD Act to stuff it with their favorite pet projects. The addition of the District of Columbia and HUD created a new dynamic for this bill. But the Economic Development Initiative (EDI) program remained a prime repository for pork. Projects increased by 8 percent, from 1,029 in fiscal 2005 to 1,119 in fiscal 2006. The total cost of EDI pork rose 20 percent from $260 million to $310 million in 2006. The total amount of pork in the TTHUD bill was $3.63 billion.

$161,015,000 for projects in the state of Senate TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee Ranking Member Patty Murray (D-Wash.) and the district of House appropriator Norm Dicks (D-Wash.), including: $1,000,000 for the Washington State ferries over wireless water project; $550,000 for the Museum of Glass in Tacoma; $500,000 for the Seattle Art Museum for construction of the Olympic Sculpture Park; and $325,000 each for the Spokane Symphony for renovations to the Fox Theater, and the renovation and expansion of the Seattle Aquarium.

$107,433,000 for projects added in the state of Senate TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee member Kay Bailey Hutchison
(R-Texas), and the districts of House TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee member John Culberson (R-Texas), and House appropriators Henry Bonilla (R-Texas), John Carter (R-Texas), Kay Granger (R-Texas), and Chet Edwards (D-Texas), including: $1,000,000 for compressed natural gas buses; $1,000,000 for the University of Texas Flywheel Bus and Truck Program; $500,000 for the Midland County Board of Commissioners Connection; $250,000 for Odessa for the renovation of the Historical Globe Theater; and $200,000 for Nacogdoches for renovations to the Fredonia Hotel and Convention Center.


$91,919,513 for projects added in the state of Senate TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee member Mike DeWine (R-Ohio) and the districts of House TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee member Ralph Regula (R-Ohio) and House appropriator Marcy Kaptur (D-Ohio), including: $1,000,000 for the city of Springfield for expansion of the Applied Research Technology Park; $750,000 for Canton for construction of the community youth/recreation activity center; $400,000 Navarre for construction of a library for the Towpath Trail YMCA Community Center; $300,000 for Ashland Industrial Park Road construction; $250,000 for Greene for the purchase of Southgate Farm; $200,000 for St. Mary’s for renovations to the historic Glass Block; $100,000 for Cincinnati for the renovation of the Covedale Center for Performing Arts; $100,000 for Toledo for the construction of ice-skating rinks in city parks; and $75,000 for Lancaster for the renovation of a building for the glass-blowing museum.

$82,254,000 for projects added in the state of Senate TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee Chairman Christopher Bond (R-Mo.) and House appropriator Jo Ann Emerson (R-Mo.), including: $5,000,000 for St. Louis Zoo public safety and transportation improvement projects; $5,880,000 for the Zora and Main Street Interchange; $750,000 for construction of a youth health museum in Boone County; $500,000 for the Missouri Soybean Association for test plots for the Life Sciences Research Development and Commercialization Project in Boone County. The Zora and Main Street Interchange is Missouri’s very own “bridge to nowhere.” Joplin requested the funding, purportedly to maintain safety and prevent congestion in the town of 50,000 people. But many local residents are adamantly opposed to the project. They maintain that the bridge and the interchange are being constructed on back roads that lie in the middle of nowhere. One resident noted, “They claim they are building this interchange to cut down congestion. There is no congestion. This is a deserted area in a small town.”

$32,375,000 for projects added in the District of Columbia. With D.C. appropriations folded into the fiscal 2006 TTHUD bill, appropriators had the opportunity to improve the economic health of the nation’s capital. Instead, appropriators threw in a plethora of wasteful pork-barrel projects, including: $1,200,000 for the Excel Institute; $1,000,000 for the National Trust for Historic Preservation and Lincoln College refurbishments; $500,000 for the Earth Conservation Corps; $495,000 for the Ft. Dupont Ice Arena; $450,000 for the Center for Inspired Teaching; $100,000 for the Camp Arena Stage; $100,000 for the Friends of Carter Barron Foundation for the Performing Arts; and $50,000 for the Capitol Hill Baseball and Softball League. The government should be exercising fiscal responsibility, not supporting a local sports group.

$21,975,000 for projects added in the districts of House TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee members Joe Knollenberg (R-Mich.) and Carolyn Kilpatrick (D-Mich.), including: $1,000,000 for FAST-TRAC SCATS signal installations in Oakland County; $550,000 for the city of Detroit for the demolition of unsafe buildings; $350,000 for the city of Farmington for ADA compliance of the Municipal Riverfront Park; $250,000 for Walsh College in the city of Troy for library expansion; $200,000 for MotorCities National Heritage Area in Detroit for renovations to the historic Piquette Plant; $150,000 for the city of Farmington for trail improvements to Shiawassee Park; and $100,000 for the Detroit Zoo for construction of the Ford Center for Environmental and Conservation Education.

$12,150,000 for projects added in the district of House Appropriations Committee Chairman Jerry Lewis (R-Calif.), including: $3,000,000 for the Ranchero road grade separation in Hesperia; $1,000,000 for Apple for Civic Center Park development; $350,000 for Yucaipa for development of the Yucaipa Valley Regional Sports Complex; $300,000 for Omni Trans para transit vehicles; $100,000 for San Bernardino for renovations to the National Orange Show Stadium; and $100,000 for San Bernardino County for the development of Santa Ana River Regional Park.

$11,605,000 added in the districts of House TTHUD Appropriations Subcommittee member John Sweeney (R-N.Y.) and House appropriators James Walsh (R-N.Y.), Maurice Hinchey (D-N.Y.), Nita Lowey (D-N.Y.), and Jose Serrano (D-N.Y.), including: $1,100,000 for the repair of the Route 9 Bridge and Vanderbilt Wall, which has received $4.3 million since fiscal 2002; $745,000 for the Thomas Cole National Historic Site; $500,000 for Warren County for facilities construction at North Creek Ski Bowl; $400,000 for the Arthur Avenue Retail Market; $350,000 for Columbia County for restoration of the historic Great Stone Barn; and $100,000 for Fort Ann for construction of the Adirondack Golden Goal complex. The organization refers to the complex as “the Crown Jewel of youth soccer tournaments.” What a kick in the grass for taxpayers.

$950,000 for a parking facility at the Joslyn Art Museum in Omaha, Nebraska. The museum, built by the wife of prominent businessman George Joslyn, profits from donations, as well as $7 tours, $25 lectures, $45 memberships, and $220 art classes.

$500,000 for construction of the Sparta Teapot Museum in Sparta, North Carolina. Supporters of the project claim that the museum “will expose its visitors to an unexpected art form the teapot.” State Representative Jim Harrell III (D-Alleghany) hopes the public funding will increase private donations and the resulting tourism will boost the local economy. State Senator Don East (R-Alleghany) noted that if lawmakers continued to pass out pork, he wanted “poor little Alleghany County” to get some as well. However, Senator East is not convinced that the museum is going to bring an influx of tourists to the area. In an interview with the Carolina Journal , East admitted, “It’s a crapshoot whether we will ever realize a lot out of tourism. Hopefully we will.” Taxpayers should be steamed that their money is being gambled on this project.

$250,000 for the National Cattle Congress (NCC) in Waterloo, Iowa for renovation and construction of facilities. The NCC sponsors an annual fair and charges $7 for admission. Fair activities include: the Second Annual Cattle Congress Cage Combat, the ‘Survivor” Family Game Show, Jocko & the J’s Monkey Show, and Steeple’s Wild West Bear Show.

$200,000 for expansion of the Wilmington Music School in Wilmington, Delaware. The music school recently held the third annual “Brunch with Beethoven”, at which members could participate in a private auction and attend a champagne- tasting seminar for $45.

$200,000 for the San Francisco Museum and Historical Society Old Mint Restoration Project. The San Francisco Museum and Historical Society hopes to “highlight the authentic assets and remove the non-historic elements of this National Historic Landmark, returning it to its original splendor while making it suitable for public use and enjoyment.”

$100,000 for the city of Thousand Oaks, California to construct a community aquatics complex on the campus of California Lutheran University. The project, constructed in a town with a median household income of $76,815, will include a 50-meter swimming pool, in which taxpayers can watch their hard-earned money drown.

You can see the whole gem HERE.