Saturday, June 30, 2012
The Punchline
"(Paul) McCartney once said he'll probably die on stage. Take it from
someone who does it every night, Paul. It ain't what it's cracked up to
be." - Craig Ferguson
Friday, June 29, 2012
The Punchline
"This will be Kim's third marriage, and experts say that if she stays
healthy, she could beat the record currently held by Larry King." -
David Letterman on reports that Kim Kardashian plans to marry Kanye West
soon.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
The Punchline
"Apparently these pizza machines roll out the dough, knead it, and then
bake it in three minutes. That's fast. The only machine that bakes
things faster is Willie Nelson's tour bus." - Craig Ferguson
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
The Punchline
"Hey, have you seen that video that's gone viral of Mitt Romney having
trouble trying to recognize the chocolate doughnut? Did you see this
video? Yeah, it's all over the Web. At first he said, 'Is that beluga
caviar on the bagel? What is that?' See, that's why he needs (N.J.
governor) Chris Christie as his vice president. Because if anyone can
identify a doughnut, it's Chris Christie." - Jay Leno
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
The Punchline
"The world's largest and best-preserved tyrannosaurus rex resides at
Chicago's Field Museum. The T-rex is so old it was found wearing a Cubs
World Series ring." - Conan O'Brien