Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Sunday, April 28, 2013
The Punchline
“We were going to have Reese Witherspoon on the show tonight, but she’s been booked elsewhere.” — Jay Leno
Saturday, April 27, 2013
The Punchline
“For those of you who aren’t familiar with Coachella, it’s a big music festival in the California desert. If you didn’t get tickets or if you’re too far away, just get high and pass out in a Dumpster behind Trader Joe’s. Just like being there.” — Jimmy Kimmel
Friday, April 26, 2013
RIP: George Jones
8:04 AM PT -- George's publicist has released a statement on the singer's passing ... saying, "Today is a sad day for music. George said to me once, 'One day I'll Join the Angel band.' Well, today he did."
The statement continues, "George passed with his family by his side and the official cause of death is being listed as 'Hypoxic Respiratory Failure.'"
Thursday, April 25, 2013
The Punchline
“There are rumors that NBC is planning to produce a new season of the sitcom ‘Friends.’ Experts say it’s been nine years since the show went off the air, so only a few people would watch, making it the highest- rated show on NBC.” — Craig Ferguson
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
The Punchline
“According to a new report, Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne’s 30-year marriage is over. After hearing this, Ozzy said, ‘I was married?’ ” — Conan O’Brien.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
The Punchline
“A man in New Jersey was arrested for stealing $100,000 worth of perfume. Not good. I mean, if there’s one thing you don’t want in jail, it’s to smell pretty.” — Jimmy Fallon