Why you book Sam Ronson...

"[Samantha Ronson] She's not a particularly good DJ. When you see her DJ, she really looks asleep at the wheel. She'll smoke cigarettes and just click through songs on her laptop.

She's like the 'friend with a bunch of records' that you had come over when you had house parties in your parents' basement. The more drunk or high you get, the better she sounds. When you book Samantha Ronson for a party, you're not booking her because she's a great DJ."
- Us Weekly's Ian Drew tells ABC News
...or, just watch THIS

...so, Lindsay is more than tasty cootch...she's a mealticket...