Naked in PLAYBOY, I don't think SOOOOOOOOO...

The only thing X-rated about Heidi Montag's upcoming Playboy spread are the 4 letter words you will scream when you realize she's not naked in any of the SIX PAGES of photos.

Sources close to the barely PG-rated photo shoot told TMZ, the magazine was under strict instructions when shooting Montag -- "No nipples, no vagina, no ass." WAIT, NO BRAINS EITHER.

As usual , the reason to buy the magazine...THE INTERVIEWS...LIVES ON...