You Know Your Church is A Redneck Church...

• IF the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
• IF people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
• WHEN the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"five guys and two women stand up.
• IF opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
• IF a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
• IF the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
• WHEN in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
• IF Baptism is referred to as "branding".
• IF high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
• IF people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
• IF the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
• IF the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
• IF the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.
• IF instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
• IF the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
• IF the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Strawberry Hill".
• IF "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
• IF the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"