Mexican Vocabulary....WTF?

Berto Colón, winner of World of Wonder's reality show Viva Hollywood!, sent around this veritable piñata of conversational Spanish yesterday that he said he heard in Los Angeles. BASICALLY HE NEEDS HIS ASS KICKED...

1. Cheese: Rosa likes me, but cheese ugly.

2. Mushroom: When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.

3. Shoulder: My fren wants 2 become a citizen, but che didn't know how to read. So I shoulder.

4. Texas: When I'm not home, my fren always Texas me. Che wonders where I am!

5. Herpes: Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece, then che got herpes.

6. July: Ju told me ju were going to tha store, but ju went to see sum guy. July to me! Julyer!

7. Rectum: I had 2 cars, but my wife rectum!

8. Chicken: I was going to go to the store with my wife, but che said chicken go herself.

9. Wheelchair: We only have one enchilada left, but don't worry wheelchair.

10. Chicken wing: My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

11. Harassment: My wife caught me in bed with another woman. I told her, "Honey, harassment nothen to me."

12. Bishop: My wife fell down the stair. So I had to pick the bishop.

13. Body wash: I want to go to the club, but no body wash my kids.

14. Budweiser: That women has a nice body, Budweiser face so ugly?