Calories Burned During Sex

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent...........................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................. 8 Calories
With one hand....................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection...........................3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary...................................12 Calories
69 lying down...............................78 Calories
69 standing up..............................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow................................216 Calories
Doggy Style..................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier..........................2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real........................................112 Calories
Fake..........................................1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years......................................36 Calories
30-39 years......................................80 Calories
40-49 years.....................................124 Calories
50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories
60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories *****
70 and over........................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS
Calmly..........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door..........5,218 Calories
With her husband knocking at the door......8,775 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

Results may vary.