A Note from Your Drunk Date

Excerpt from "A Note from Your Drunk Date" by J.L. Scott:

Dear Blind Date from the Other Night,

I am extremely sorry that I peed on myself when you brought me home. And not in a kinky-European-porn way. I mean in an I-couldn't-make-it-from-the-couch-to-the-bathroom-so-I-peed-on-my-Diane-von-Furstenburg-wrap-dress-and-you-helped-me-into-your-bathtub-as-you-turned-on-the-shower way. Then, because I still thought we were on a date and still wanted to sleep with you, I tried to act sexy, touching myself for you to watch even though I couldn't really stand up straight, until you told me to stop, dressed me in your Lollapalooza '98 t-shirt and a gigantic pair of Santa-print flannel pajama pants, gave me cab fare and told me to go home.
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