A" Larry the Cable Guy" Update...

June 1, 2007...

Git-R-Done! Hey, I think I found out what causes Tourette's syndrome... try to install a satellite dish at your Mom's house by yourself with no help! That right, that's good for about 75 to 100 f-bombs for no reason at all! I was watching the news the other day and they were interviewing Rosie. Her "girlfriend" was standing there and I got to thinking; in a lesbian relationship, who gets the remote? Hmmm. I'll tell ya what though, the one good thing about being raised by lesbians is that no matter how bad you've been, you'll never have to hear the phrase. "Wait till your father gets home!" Well it looks like graduation season is coming to a close. That reminds me of when I was in school. Ya know I finished in the top 3 kids in my class. The bad news was I was home schooled and there were 3 of us kids! Badabing! Ok, enough of this non-stop hilarity, I have to update!

Did ya'll get to check out my new special on Comedy Central? Morning Constitutions premiered on Sunday night June 3rd and is now available online via the iTunes Store and in your local retail stores nationwide. I'm really happy with how it turned out and think it's a great follow up to the DVD Git-R-Done! I promise, it's packed with tons of solid one liner laughs from start to finish and hopefully if all goes as planned, it'll offend the P.C. crowd as much as my other one did. What's that old saying, "Ya can't get new tricks if your hooker is a dog?" Nevermind... I'm not very good at remembering old sayings. Also the CD Morning Constitutions remains in the #1 slot for the 6th week in a row so thanks for the support on that as well.

Delta Farce kicked ass. Well... it did about as good as it could against Spiderman, Shrek, and Pirates. That was like watching a fight between Jackie Chan and the retarded kid from down the street! I felt Like Ron Goldmen showing up at OJ's house to return sunglasses. Talk about bad timing! Delta Farce is a fricken riot and I hope ya have time to still check it on the big screen!

Right now I'm in the middle of filming my next movie, "Witless Protection". We're filming in and around Chicago during the whole month of June and some of July. The cast is awesome! Jenny McCarthy, Joe Montegnia, Yaphett Coto, Eric Roberts, and Peter Stourmere and just some of my co-stars. Were having a blast and the movie is hilarious! They're shooting for this to be released early next year, probably sandwiched between a Muslim Jihad against movies theaters, the second comming of Christ, and Spiderman 4!

Well that's it for now and I'll keep ya posted on the filming of Witless Protection and some other stuff.

Larry The Cable Guy