Dennis Miller: Moments of Zen
Looks like they found evidence of water on Mars, but unfortunately, they also found a sucker fish in water, so we’re not allowed to study it any more.
Do you know why I’m no longer liberal? Because I wanted to stop my sentences one word short of the word “but.” You know, as a liberal, I found myself using the word “but” more frequently than a proctologist filling out his day planner.
Let’s see, maybe it’s time for a Democratic president. Stay with me. Because the next step in the inevitable escalation in this war with radical Islam is going to involve us being appreciably more brutal and ruthless than we have been to date. And I think the left’s cronyism with the mainstream media will provide cover for someone on that side of things to up the ante.
You know, I’m pretty sure the phrase life is too short doesn’t exist in Islam.
Castro, Castro is one true genius at keeping Cuba so far down that a Category Four hurricane can hit the island head on and they still suffer almost no property damage.
You know, the interesting thing about diversity training is that 99.9 percent of the people who are ordered to take it are white.
They say that Wal-Mart will be the death of small town America. If small town America is so great, why is every third person in Hooterville hooked on meth?
To all the eco-nuts out there, I can’t worry about the earth right now. I’m too worried about the world.
Hillary Clinton can afford to decry rich people at every turn. She’s been on the public’s dime since the dawn of man. She’s had all the trappings of wealth without all the messy earnings that it takes.
You know, the Saudis are just the grown up equivalent of your childhood imaginary friend.
I’m toying with the idea of turning all of my money over to the state of California, because theoretically, I’d have more access to it as petitioner than I do as the actual proprietor.
Once again, let me proclaim that my main reason for being pro-choice is that I am not a fetus that’s about to be aborted.
And lastly, just as the Titanic ramming the iceberg led to the obvious practice of having enough life boats for all the passengers, fighting a politically correct war in Iraq will remind us that you only, only fight wars to win.
Do you know why I’m no longer liberal? Because I wanted to stop my sentences one word short of the word “but.” You know, as a liberal, I found myself using the word “but” more frequently than a proctologist filling out his day planner.
Let’s see, maybe it’s time for a Democratic president. Stay with me. Because the next step in the inevitable escalation in this war with radical Islam is going to involve us being appreciably more brutal and ruthless than we have been to date. And I think the left’s cronyism with the mainstream media will provide cover for someone on that side of things to up the ante.
You know, I’m pretty sure the phrase life is too short doesn’t exist in Islam.
Castro, Castro is one true genius at keeping Cuba so far down that a Category Four hurricane can hit the island head on and they still suffer almost no property damage.
You know, the interesting thing about diversity training is that 99.9 percent of the people who are ordered to take it are white.
They say that Wal-Mart will be the death of small town America. If small town America is so great, why is every third person in Hooterville hooked on meth?
To all the eco-nuts out there, I can’t worry about the earth right now. I’m too worried about the world.
Hillary Clinton can afford to decry rich people at every turn. She’s been on the public’s dime since the dawn of man. She’s had all the trappings of wealth without all the messy earnings that it takes.
You know, the Saudis are just the grown up equivalent of your childhood imaginary friend.
I’m toying with the idea of turning all of my money over to the state of California, because theoretically, I’d have more access to it as petitioner than I do as the actual proprietor.
Once again, let me proclaim that my main reason for being pro-choice is that I am not a fetus that’s about to be aborted.
And lastly, just as the Titanic ramming the iceberg led to the obvious practice of having enough life boats for all the passengers, fighting a politically correct war in Iraq will remind us that you only, only fight wars to win.
posted by Mr Farnham at
2:22 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home