Rumpology By Stallone
Rumpology, also known as butt reading, is the art of reading the lines, crevices, dimples, and folds of the buttocks to divine the butt owner's character and get a glimpse of what lies ahead by analyzing what trails behind.
According to Jacqueline Stallone, a foremost American rumpologist, rump reading is an art that was practiced in ancient Babylon, India, Greece, and Rome. She claims that the ancient Greeks thought the butt was the key to health and fidelity. She says the Romans used butt prints the way some people use graphology today: to determine potential talents and future success.
She does readings by mail. Just send her a digital photo of your rump and she will analyze it for a fee ($125, and she takes major credit cards and PayPal). Her website includes examples of appropriate rump shots, including one of "a male action hero movie star," "a Jewish princess," and "a Fortune 500 CEO." She'll not only give you a butt reading for your money, but she'll send you an 8 1/2 x 11 glossy color print of your butt, suitable for framing.
Stallone has not been tested by Dr. Gary "The Validator" Schwartz at his psychic-testing clinic at the University of Arizona, but her son Sylvester says that his mother's greatest talent is her ability to see the future.* It is likely, though, that were she tested by The Validator her clients would rate her accuracy at 75%-80% due to the Barnum and Forer effect.
Stallone claims that the left and right butt cheeks reveal a person's past and future, respectively. She says she has a degree in chemistry, but she must not have studied anatomy or physiology. She claims any doctor will tell you that the body is like a warehouse which stores everything. She thinks that the right buttocks represents the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain, while the left buttocks represents the right hemisphere. Her rump report, she says, can tell you "whether you are going ass-backwards (into that little closet called the left brain)" or are going forward with the right brain.
She even teaches others how to read the future by looking at behinds. José Miranda, for example, learned rumpology from Stallone. The Little Havana (Miami) soothsayer became a hit on the "phenomenally popular and raunchy late-night talk show 'La Cosa Nostra' on Spanish-language WJAN-TV Channel 41."*
According to Jacqueline Stallone, a foremost American rumpologist, rump reading is an art that was practiced in ancient Babylon, India, Greece, and Rome. She claims that the ancient Greeks thought the butt was the key to health and fidelity. She says the Romans used butt prints the way some people use graphology today: to determine potential talents and future success.
She does readings by mail. Just send her a digital photo of your rump and she will analyze it for a fee ($125, and she takes major credit cards and PayPal). Her website includes examples of appropriate rump shots, including one of "a male action hero movie star," "a Jewish princess," and "a Fortune 500 CEO." She'll not only give you a butt reading for your money, but she'll send you an 8 1/2 x 11 glossy color print of your butt, suitable for framing.
Stallone has not been tested by Dr. Gary "The Validator" Schwartz at his psychic-testing clinic at the University of Arizona, but her son Sylvester says that his mother's greatest talent is her ability to see the future.* It is likely, though, that were she tested by The Validator her clients would rate her accuracy at 75%-80% due to the Barnum and Forer effect.
Stallone claims that the left and right butt cheeks reveal a person's past and future, respectively. She says she has a degree in chemistry, but she must not have studied anatomy or physiology. She claims any doctor will tell you that the body is like a warehouse which stores everything. She thinks that the right buttocks represents the left cerebral hemisphere of the brain, while the left buttocks represents the right hemisphere. Her rump report, she says, can tell you "whether you are going ass-backwards (into that little closet called the left brain)" or are going forward with the right brain.
She even teaches others how to read the future by looking at behinds. José Miranda, for example, learned rumpology from Stallone. The Little Havana (Miami) soothsayer became a hit on the "phenomenally popular and raunchy late-night talk show 'La Cosa Nostra' on Spanish-language WJAN-TV Channel 41."*
posted by Mr Farnham at
1:59 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home